Do you hear that?
Nothing.
Silence.
Stillness.
This week has been somewhat strange.
After an immensely busy year it is the first time I paused.
After a year of studying I could wake up in the morning and do nothing. Or whatever I wanted.
Well, I got sick. Back pain kept me in bed for most of the week and I was forced to rest.
To be still.
And I realized I am really bad at it.
The thing I had yearned for was finally here.
That feeling I had looked forward to all year whenever things were just too much for me: “Soon you’ll be off and can be still”. Well, here it is.
And I don’t know how to handle it.
I am actually quite afraid of it.
I am between wanting and not wanting.
So wanting to get out of my busy life, away from the voices and tasks and things thrown at me.
Shutting off the sounds that make it impossible for me to hear what’s really important.
Being attentive to God’s whisper once again.
So anxious of really being still.
Cutting everything off and being left with…nothing.
Afraid that the stillness will not lead to something.
That God won’t show up.
That I am not willing to go far enough.
It is a challenge to be still.
It is hard to really seek stillness.
And yet I think we sometimes need to let go of the not wanting and walk towards the wanting.
Cut off some of the noise and expect HIM to come out of the stillness.
Because if I am still, really still, I can hear him calling.
Can you hear it, too?
(I am off for two months now before student teaching begins, and I am looking forward – with an incredibly anxious and wanting heart – to a time of rest and stillness. I don’t know what will happen, but I definitely want to try and listen to the call.)
thisiskatha.com 
Thanks, Kate! It is really quite a temptation…Lots of wisdom to you, too as you got more time on your hands!
Thanks, Liz! I always considered myself a pretty patient person, but this last week has proven me wrong! So hard to shut down your brain…Let's see how next week goes! At least I am not the only one with this problem…:)
It is nerve wrecking! But I will see what will come next. Thanks for coming by, Mariangie!
Yes, that beauty is hard to find and yet so so good…Thanks for visiting, Lynai!
I've been in a similar situation lately, with fewer demands on my day-to-day routine, and the temptation is to fill up the empty hours. Several wise friends have encouraged me to relish this season of quiet and wait upon Him for direction — not just say “yes” to every opportunity that comes my way! May God grant you much wisdom and joy during these two months of reprieve!
Love this. I am all about being physically still but I have a hard time achieving mental stillness. It's especially difficult when you're in transition – moving into a new phase of life.
Katha, that is me: a challenge to be still. Yet when I am finally still I realize how the stillness is needed for my soul. Praying that the lord shows you what to do next. It can be quite nerve racking when we try to find an answer and cannot hear His voice.
Hi, Katha! Hopped on to here from your comment in my blog. I agree with you, being still really takes effort and discipline. But once we get the hang of it, we find that there is beauty in stillness and silence. May you find peace and encouragement always. Happy Friday! 🙂