No, You’re Not

Moving to a new city and starting a new job (the first real job ever) is quite an interesting thing. During the week I am incredibly busy preparing lessons and teachings, countless meetings and admin work.
But then there are the weekends or breaks when my schedule is empty and I have some room to breathe. It is in the quiet times when I realize how abandoned I am.

I’m alone.

Leaving the safe shores of faith is quite an unsettling move. As I abandon traditional beliefs and try to rediscover truth I often feel lost and confused. And deep down inside, I can’t deny that feeling of fear – what if I abandon everything and will be left with nothing?

I’m alone.

nomad

In the midst of this emotional turmoil, the following song has been on repeat for quite some time on my phone now.

It offers a powerful response to the lie we so often believe.
That we are all on our own.
That it will always be dark.
That it will never get better.
That we are abandoned.

I know I’m pretending
When I try to have an answer
It’s not what I intended
And I don’t know what comes after

There’s still those two thoughts
One after the other:
I’m alone
No you’re not
I’m alone no you’re not
I’m alone
No you’re not
I’m alone no you’re not

– Joseph. “Honest”.

I’m alone.
No, you’re not.

Life is an adventure and there will always be times of challenge, exhaustion and loneliness. We can’t always change the circumstances, but we can choose how we feel about it.

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We can discover beauty when we rest our eyes on it.
We can experience community when we make ourselves vulnerable.
We can find faith in the mundane when we keep on searching, keep on hoping, keep on seeing.
We can breathe freedom when we’re brave enough to walk on shaky waters.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Rest in the Middle of Life

“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly. There’s just too much to do.
Work first, pleasure later.
I can rest when I’m done with everything.”

Do these statements sound familiar to you?
These battles inside of you between what your soul longs for and what your busy mind tells you to do?

I had this battle going on this weekend. The first week back at work after Christmas Break was very stressful, and I’m not really looking forward to the next with all the things I have to do.
I really don’t have time to rest.
I never really seem to have time.

I don’t have time.

That’s probably one of the most overused excuse in our society today, and unfortunately we often feel good using it because it makes us sound productive, active and useful.
So we give in to this lie that we can’t possibly rest now.

So how can we get the rest our souls need so desperately?

We make time for it.
And we’ll discover that there is actually more time than we think.

Time to do things for us, not for anyone else’s benefit.
Time to savor and waste on something that replenished our souls.
Time to listen to our breath and that soft voice of the father reminding us of his perfect love and rest.

So, in the middle of life and its busyness I decided to rest today.
I wasted time on the couch with a good book.
I made time to spend with  friends. I savored my breakfast.
I stretched out my empty hands and allowed the father to refill them.

I wasted time and found abundance instead.


Even though I’m two days late, I’m still joining my writing peeps
over at Five Minute Friday.

Packed Bags

It’s the last day of October. It’s also the last chapter of Mundane Narratives. One month of people, objects and stories we so often tend to overlook. I hope you had some fun reading along!

The question is what remains at the end of this month.
What are you taking away from this challenge?

Continue reading “Packed Bags”

Ebenezer

On a sunny Sunday morning my parents came to visit me. It was the Sunday before school started after six long weeks of summer break.

For me this wasn’t just the beginning of another new year, it was a whole new chapter of my life. My first real job as a real teacher ever. New classes, new surroundings, new role. This was a big deal, still is in fact.

Continue reading “Ebenezer”

A Little Treat for Yourself

In July I was in London for the second time. Even though I was there for a conference it felt very much like a short vacation. Often it doesn’t take much to feel relaxed if we know how to grant our souls some rest.  Continue reading “A Little Treat for Yourself”

Listen to the Little Things

It starts with the little things.
When I get up in the morning, but my body is still weary from the day before – I know it’s time to rest.
When my hair starts falling out and my wrists starts itching – I know it’s time to rest.
When I snap at people for no obvious reason – I know it’s time to rest.
When I forget about people because I am so focused on the product – I know it’s time to stop. Continue reading “Listen to the Little Things”

The Wonderful Exhausting Pilgrimage of Life

I got off at the airport and picked up my rental car.
And then I started driving.
It had been four years since I had driven on the left side and I was surprised how quickly I got back into the rhythm. It was dark, but with a GPS and a sort of sense of direction I found my friends’ cottage I would be staying at for the next few days.

‘Pilgrims Rest’ said the sign on the door.
How appropriate. Continue reading “The Wonderful Exhausting Pilgrimage of Life”