No, You’re Not

Moving to a new city and starting a new job (the first real job ever) is quite an interesting thing. During the week I am incredibly busy preparing lessons and teachings, countless meetings and admin work.
But then there are the weekends or breaks when my schedule is empty and I have some room to breathe. It is in the quiet times when I realize how abandoned I am.

I’m alone.

Leaving the safe shores of faith is quite an unsettling move. As I abandon traditional beliefs and try to rediscover truth I often feel lost and confused. And deep down inside, I can’t deny that feeling of fear – what if I abandon everything and will be left with nothing?

I’m alone.

nomad

In the midst of this emotional turmoil, the following song has been on repeat for quite some time on my phone now.

It offers a powerful response to the lie we so often believe.
That we are all on our own.
That it will always be dark.
That it will never get better.
That we are abandoned.

I know I’m pretending
When I try to have an answer
It’s not what I intended
And I don’t know what comes after

There’s still those two thoughts
One after the other:
I’m alone
No you’re not
I’m alone no you’re not
I’m alone
No you’re not
I’m alone no you’re not

– Joseph. “Honest”.

I’m alone.
No, you’re not.

Life is an adventure and there will always be times of challenge, exhaustion and loneliness. We can’t always change the circumstances, but we can choose how we feel about it.

photo-1433209980324-3d2d022adcbc

We can discover beauty when we rest our eyes on it.
We can experience community when we make ourselves vulnerable.
We can find faith in the mundane when we keep on searching, keep on hoping, keep on seeing.
We can breathe freedom when we’re brave enough to walk on shaky waters.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Author: Katha von Dessien

Teacher. Believer. Third Culture Kid. World Traveler. People Lover. Writer.

4 thoughts on “No, You’re Not”

  1. I love this post–and the gorgeous photography incoportated in it. (I’m wondering where these pictures were taken.) I’m especially moved by the photo of woman and child walking on dock. This post has drawn me into your 30-days series, which I want to be reading through this week. I can identify so well with your statement, “It is in the quiet times when I realize how abandoned I am,” but would add, “It’s in the quiet times when I also come to realize that, in fact, ‘No, you’re not!” Rich blessings to you as you continue in your brave journey.

  2. Oh, Katha. This was beautiful. I can so imagine the raging emotions you experience daily. Crossing borders and cultures is not for the faint of heart. You are most certainly NOT alone.

    I love this: “We can discover beauty when we rest our eyes on it.
    We can experience community when we make ourselves vulnerable.
    We can find faith in the mundane when we keep on searching, keep on hoping, keep on seeing.”

    Praying strength and favour for you and your journey.
    Shauna

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