Why do I take a sabbatical?

Note: I started a Substack in German to keep track of my travels during this year and it’s been really fun to explore writing in another language. However, I realized that many of my friends and readers don’t speak German and I don’t want to leave them in the dark. So from time to time, you will find the English versions of my Substack texts here in addition to my usual writing. Enjoy!

“And which classes will you teach next year?”, a mother asked me at prom in July. “None”, I reply, “I’ll be on sabbatical and not have any classes at school.”

“Oh really? You don’t look like you’re close to a burnout.”

A break is for people close to breaking down.
You have to earn a break by working hard and you better look exhausted.
Breaks are luxury invented by the ‘work-life-balance’ generation and harm the nation’s productivity (if we believe our chancellor’s opinion).

So why in the world do I dare to take a sabbatical after ten years of teaching?

First of all: Yes, a sabbatical is a privilege and I am very aware of that. Not every profession allows you to save up money and then take some paid time off. Not every employer guarantees you a return to your previous position. Even in seemingly safe fields like civil service laws are changed and freedoms are limited – which is a real problem given the exhaustion and challenges teachers face every day (but that’s a longer discussion).

Sabbatical means to press pause on your current doing and being. It originates from Judaism, which practiced a sabbatical every seven years. It meant the forgiveness of debts, balances of earnings and a break for agricultural spaces. I like this thought and wonder if we should apply it to our lives more often.

Sabbatical for me means to pause my current routines and regain some strength. Yes, I love my job and the people, but it does drain a lot of social energy and at some point, the tank is empty. If I don’t want to wait for a full inner breakdown, I have to take good care of myself now and fill that tank.

Sabbatical means to reflect on the last ten years (crazy how fast time flies!) and to sort through the different factors in my life. Have I set the right priorities or might I have to change something? Which things and relationships do I really need in order to live well, do I plan ample time and space for them?

“Let your life be driven more strongly by curiosity than fear.”
– Liz Gilbert1

Sabbatical means to seek inspiration and use the opportunity to put it into practice. In my daily life I often miss time for my personal interests and relationships outside of work – but they matter to me as an individual. At the end of summer break I often realize that I am rested enough physically and mentally to discover creative projects, but then I have to go to school and ideas disappear under piles of work and stress. What will happen if I now have the time to actually pursue these creative endeavors?

Sabbatical means to be excited again. My job as a teacher is focused on motivating people to learn new things, but we often forget that we have to remain students as well. I want to try things I haven’t done before and experience that moment again when the lightbulb goes on. I want to remember that “high” and then carry it back into my projects and ideas.

“My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.”2

Sabbatical means to develop long-term strategies to balance out my work in the future. To maintain a focus on the essentials and the right priority of everything I have to do. I want to walk through life healthily and not waste energy on things that don’t endure anyway. I want to be comfortable and thriving with the routines I build. I want to lead a life I don’t need a vacation from, to live from weekend to weekend, holiday to holiday or plan the next sabbatical right away.

What does that mean for this year?
I will travel and meet old and new friends.
I will spend days without an agenda and say yes to spontaneous activities.
I will battle with loneliness and solitude.
I will become an intercultural coach and dive into intellectual depths.
I will read and write a lot (hopefully).

Am I excited for the year? YES! And I am super excited to see what will surprise me.
Am I nervous about things to come? ABSOLUTELY. After ten years of strict structure and routine I am a little afraid of all this freedom. But I want to face that challenge and rather follow my curiosity than give into fear.

Thanks for being on this journey with me!

  1. From her amazing book Big Magic. ↩︎
  2. This quote is attributed to Rob Hill Sr., but in times of social media pull quotes who really knows? ↩︎

Am I ready for the shift?

We’re on our first week of summer break. When you’ve been on a roll for so many weeks, finishing up your school work and holding space for your students’ emotions, it usually takes a while to shift into holiday mode.


Cleaning out digital and physical class folders and teaching material.
Clearing out my desk and bag, only to find some long lost document (and sometimes a disgusting leftover sandwich).
Working through my to do list of things I didn’t get around to during the school year.
Sending last emails to colleagues, parents and students before setting an “out of office” message.
Sleeping without an alarm clock, eat whenever you want and don’t watch the time at night.

It takes a while for your body to adjust to a new schedule. Until the gentle reminder to yourself that you can go back to sleep after waking up at 6am sharp actually picks up.

It takes even longer for the brain to crank down several gears and function on a slower pace. To enjoy solitude and the blissful gift of a full day without an agenda.

To fully enjoy summer break l, I need to allow myself time to shift and not rush right into the next adventure.


This is especially true this year since my summer break is much longer than the usual six weeks. They’re just the beginning to a sabbatical – a whole year of freedom to explore, travel, challenge and grow.

Am I ready for that? I don’t think so (yet). Give me some time to shift.

One thing I definitely want to do this year: Finding my way back into a steady writing rhythm. Starting with Five Minute Friday today. Join us?

The Circle

Circle. 
A perfectly round shape with no beginning and end. 
A link between what was and what is.
A connection between you and me. 

You and I, we are both in this circle. 
Revolving around life. 
Sometimes a bit closer, sometimes a bit further apart. 
At times we dance, in other moments we fall.
We will return to the circle because we know that it carries us all. 

In this circle, I cannot not see you. 
I cannot not pay attention to the steps you take or look away when you fail. 
I cannot not hear your sufferings and cries of agony. 
Your life flows into mine and mine into yours. 
Your burdens will be my pain and your triumphs will be my joys one day. 
You and I – we are two parts of the same circle. 
Of the same humanity. 
I cannot not care or leave without breaking apart this inextricable connection between us. 

So I struggle with you all the way over here. 
My heart breaks as you walk through the valleys of death. 
Your screams of pain resound deeply in my soul. 
I wring my hands in worry and despair. 
I cry for help on your behalf and fear that it’s lost in the big void.
I grow weary, mad even, that no one seems to understand that 

In this circle, I cannot be without you. 
We are in this together, all of human creation. 
We cannot exist one without the other. 
And it’s only together that we can stumble – slowly but surely – toward the light. 

Writing for Five Minute Friday today. 

It’s difficult to watch the news these days and not despair at the state of the world with its crazy leaders, wars and so much suffering. Yes, we might enjoy ourselves on the bright side of life. Yes, we might have the privilege to turn off our phones and TVs. 

However, we have to realize that we’re all part of this. The people on the other side of our screens are part of the same humanity. And therefore we cannot not see them or ignore their pain. 

Please don’t stop making a difference for the circle in whatever ways you can. Read (like this inspiring piece), watch, talk to others, speak up. 
Please don’t stop holding space for both, the weird ambiguity of life. 
Please don’t stop caring and feeling all the emotions – no matter how complex they are.  

Observations from the sickbed

A couple of days ago, I tore a muscle in my leg really badly and have been bedridden for most of this week. This interrupted my usual speed of life, but it also provided me with some unexpected time to observe and reflect. I suddenly was more aware of the little favors of life.

When I waited in the ER for a couple of hours, I was entertained by some friends who sent me texts, jokes and good thoughts. We had planned to go out that night; instead, they bought food and cooked dinner over at my place for me.
When I went back to work way too early (and in a lot of pain), friends looked out for me and sent me back home to get well properly. They called or texted to check in on me and cheer me up.
When a package arrived, I mustered up my strength to walk down all the five floors to collect it, but when I opened the door, I realized that a neighbor had already carried it all the way up to my apartment – they didn’t even know I was sick this week.
When I hobbled to the grocery store in the middle of the day to avoid the busy hours with my handicap, an elderly man walks up to me in the coffee aisle. He doesn’t speak German or English, but with a bit of Italian and sign language I figure out that he needs help with buying the correct coffee for his wife. Together we “discuss” the various options and have a laugh over it.
When I suddenly had time to read in the morning with a cup of the, the most beautiful sunshine lights up my little reading nook.

Little favors that lit up my life. They made this week so much better than anticipated, despite my injury I was connected to the kindness of friends and strangers. I have received favors, and I want to pass them on to others. It doesn’t take much to brighten someone’s day and remind us all of our shared humanity – a simple but fundamental truth in turbulent times such as these.

What kind of favors have you received this week? What can you pass on to others?

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

The necessity of the in-between

“Say something – right now. 
If you’re not for me, you’re against me.
Silence is compliance or ignorance.” 

The online world of “instant” posts and heated debates on controversial topics has little tolerance for indecision. 

It is true that indecisiveness can be used as a cover to never take a stand or risk anything at all.
It is true that not making a decision can be abused as a way to avoid taking responsibility.
It is true that silence in the face of evil gives power to the oppressors.
It is true that we can be on the fence for too long and forget to stand up for what’s important: human dignity and the right to life.
Peace and tolerance. Love and understanding. 

But being indecisive at times does not always mean that we don’t care.
It might mean that we want to dig deeper instead of staying on the shallow surface.
It might mean that we want to understand complex issues instead of blurting out platitudes.
It might mean that we dare listening to several perspectives instead of resorting to exclusive binary thinking. 

I want to make educated decisions and stay true to my word afterwards.
My yes should be a wholehearted “Hell Yeah!” and my no a well justified rejection.
My comments should mean something and make a difference to the people I talk to. I don’t need to add more fuel to the fires already burning on our social media channels, workplaces, public spaces and dinner tables. 

Instead, I want to open space for honest conversation, open-ended thinking, deep questions and genuine connection – especially with people who we might not necessarily agree with.
I want to build a longer table instead of erecting thicker walls.
This takes courage, heart and… time to be undecided – at least for a while. 

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Little Life Savers

There are days when everything seems easy, work flows and you just cross items off your to do list.
There are days when life seems to stagnate and nothing seems to move at all. And then there are days when you can barely keep your eyes open at 8pm and your body just begs you to go to bed already.

We cannot always choose what our days look like, but we can practice how to react to unforeseen challenges and exhausting moments.

Last year, I was often burned out and couldn’t even name what I wanted or needed when I came home completely tired. I knew I was restless, but I couldn’t tell what would calm me down.
So I started writing a list of things that might help me. When I felt energized and rested I decided to prepare for the moments when I wouldn’t be. I tried to be as specific as possible.
Cooking some comfort food –for me, that would be potato dumplings and brown sauce.
Reading a book instead of staring at the screen.
Dancing to 70s music.
Putting on makeup, just for me.
Flicking through old photo books to remind myself that hard times with pass and the sun will come back eventually.
Writing.
Calling a friend and sitting on their couch.
Asking for a hug.
Staring out the window, take one deep breath after the other.
Taking a day in the middle of the week to explore a new city with an old friend.
Praying.

What are specific things you do to get yourself through challenging times?

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Pulling away the cover

During my morning meditation I practice to be still.
To listen to my breaths coming and going in a steady rhythm.
To calm my thoughts about the day ahead of me or memories from yesterday.
To listen to what’s around and inside me.

When I allow stillness to settle in, I suddenly notice a lot.
A train rattling by in the distance.
The oven clock ticking so much louder all of a sudden.
The first rain drops on the window.
The birds chirping in the trees on your street.
The wandering thoughts slowly by slowly returning to the present, sitting with me in that moment.

My life is filled to the brim with schedules, to do lists and worries. This world is full of unsettling election results, unresolved wars and so many question marks about the future.
My vision is blurred by too much action, but practicing stillness can help to adjust my perspective. 


There’s so much to discover if I allow myself to truly see.
To pull away the cover of busyness, planning and worry.
To give my undivided attention to the moment right in front of me.
To not shy away from the dark spots I might find there.
To always look for the glimpses of hope leading me towards the light.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Leaving “Almost” Behind

I get it.
We want to know for sure, to have a definite answer.
We want to be certain of what’s right and wrong.
Almost is not good enough for us, we need 100%.

There’s safety in black and white.
There’s a community with those who are in.
We don’t want to be outside in the dark where everything is unsure.
No one wants to be left alone.

But what if we stepped outside the familiar realm into the great unknown?

We crawl through the dust and reach for something – anything – that will hold us.
Our feet touch ground we’ve never felt before. It’s uncomfortable at first, but it quickly warms up and feels soft.
It carries us to new places where we discover that there’s always more to the story than what we’ve known.
There are new voices, new perspectives, new colors.
The black and white picture suddenly lights up and comes to life in ways we’d never expected.
We confront giants and watch as they become companions on our journey.
We find others on this path to freedom.
We jump across the cliff and… fly.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Little moments of rest

How do you know when you need a break? How does your body tell you that it’s enough and you need to take a step back? I believe that our body is a vital part of us and we should listen more closely to her.

For me, it’s headaches.

This morning, I woke up with a sharp pain piercing through my head, forcing me to lie down again instead of starting my day.
It’s Friday, the end of a long and demanding week. I had a lot to think of, many unforeseen tasks that meant long hours at work and very little time to take a break. Now my body screams to slow down and I’m a bit angry at myself for having waited so long.

We need periods of respite in our lives. And this starts with little moments of rest when we allow our mind and body to slow down and step away from the world for a moment.
Like eating lunch away from the desk and savoring every bite.
Like going to bed at a decent time and not binge another episode.
Like holding your face into the sun and let it warm you.
Like shedding a tear when the pressure is just too much.
Like doing one thing at a time instead of staring at multiple screens.
Like exchanging the phone for a book in the evening.
Like taking a deep breath when the chaos runs high.

It doesn’t have to be much, but over time these small things build a habit of listening and granting ourselves permission to rest in the midst of full schedules, minds and lives. They will still be there, but we’ll approach them differently.

What are your little moments of respite this week?

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

You’re worth it

On Wednesday I felt like celebrating. I invited some girls from my book club over and enjoyed getting dressed up. I set the table with nice silverware and opened a bottle of sparkling wine.
We spoiled ourselves with salmon and burrata.
We enjoyed cocktails and toasted to our friendship.
We laughed at silly stories and nodded at shared experiences.
We shared a bit of life.

A table full of great food, conversations and life.


Yes, it was Valentine’s Day.
Yes, the news around the world still sound bleak.
Yes, it was in the middle of the week.

And yet, we celebrate.
We’re caught in comparisons and competitions (especially as women!), always modest and humble.
We take care of everyone but ourselves.
We believe far too often that we’re not worth it.
We’re surrounded by so much darkness, chaos, exhaustion and uncertainty, so maybe the biggest act of defiance is to pause for a moment, spoil ourselves and celebrate life and friendships in the midst of it all.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.