When You’re Stuck at a Wall

Cold.
Grey.
Impenetrable.

I take a step back to take in the vast magnitude of this wall.
I walk left, I turn back right.
Try to find a way across this barrier, but I always come back to the same grey spot.
I end up at this wall that has risen up around my heart.
I’m stuck.

In this dark night of the soul I circle around the same questions, I wrestle with the same doubts, I wonder how much longer I have to stay in this place.
I want to move on, get out of this place.
I long to go back to a time before the wall when everything seemed so simple and clear.
I grow restless and impatient.
I take a moment to pause and listen.

And that’s when it happens.

I hear a “what if” deep inside of me.

What if there’s no way back and I am meant to be here?
What if the beauty of the journey is not the destination but the movement in between?
What if the grey is actually a colored space to live in?
What if the wilderness is not an empty place but a home for weary travelers, creators, doubters and feeble believers?
What if being stuck is the call to surrender, grow and actually live?


Linking up with Five Minute Friday.