Category: Germany

[Waiting for Him] The Best Part about Waiting

This month I am doing a series on Advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas. You can find more info on the series here. Come and join us for a month of getting ready and waiting!

In diesem Monat gibt es eine Serie über Advent und wie wir uns auf Weihnachten vorbereiten können. Hier gibt es mehr Infos über die Serie. Komm und sei dabei bei den Vorbereitungen und beim Warten!

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I guess as a child you have the most vivid memories of Christmas.
Waking up to the first snow in the morning.
Making presents and smiling at the thought of the receivers.
Writing your wishlist and hoping to find many of these wishes under the tree.
Crafting Christmas cards and sending happy words around the world.
Baking cookies and getting a first taste of Christmas.
Practicing a Christmas musical with the kids choir and getting more excited with every rehearsal.

Waiting seems to be part of Advent. 
While you prepare you wait.
While you rehearse you wait.
This can be pretty hard, especially for a child.
It can be hard for adults, too.
We might be better at waiting, but we are so busy that we don’t even have time to wait.
We are so caught up in preparing and baking and doing that we forget to be.
Be excited for what’s to come.
Allow that Christmas joy and spirit to fill us and get us through the dark winter days, the lack of sunshine, or the business.

Waiting is not about wasting.
We are not losing time or energy while waiting.
We are actually cultivating a spirit and a habit that can be pretty helpful in life.
Using waiting time well and intentionally is a virtue worth developing. 
And Advent might just be a good practice for that.

One of my favorite waiting times in Advent is Christmas Eve.
In Germany it is THE holiday when you go to church, have a fancy dinner with the family, and open presents. And in our family this also means seeing the Christmas tree for the first time.
You won’t believe it, but I’ve never decorated a Christmas tree in my life. 
And I am not sure I want to. Ever since we were born my Dad would set up the tree on the 23rd and decorate at night. No one is allowed to go into the living room on the 24th.

This might sound cruel to some of you and your traditions might be different, but I kind of like it.
These hours on Christmas Eve are special. It gives you time to
reflect, to feel excitement rush through your body, to laugh out loud, to be foolish with your siblings while waiting (yes, we’re all grown-up and don’t mind at all!).

Our waiting is never in vain. The result is always worth it.
At night, after church and dinner, Dad lights the candles (yes, real candles on a real tree!) and we all go in together, singing and laying our presents under the tree. It has always been like that and there still is that kind of magic I don’t want to let go of.

What are some of your favorite Christmas traditions? How do you spend your waiting time? 



Als Kind hat man wohl die lebhaftesten Erinnerungen an Weihnachten.
Am Morgen den ersten Schnee entdecken.
Geschenke basteln und mit Lachen an den Empfänger denken.
Den Wunschzettel schreiben und hoffen, dass sich viel davon unterm Baum wieder findet.
Karten basteln und Wünsche in die ganze Welt zu schicken.
Plätzchen backen und das erste Mal Weihnachten schmecken.
Ein Weihnachtsmusical einstudieren mit dem Kinderchor und mit jeder Probe ein bisschen mehr Aufregung spüren.

Warten scheint Teil des Advents zu sein.
Während man vorbereitet, wartet man.
Während man probt, wartet man.
Das kann ganz schön hart sein, vor allem für ein Kind.
Aber auch für Erwachsene.
Wir können vielleicht besser warten, sind aber so beschäftigt, dass wir gar keine Zeit zum Warten haben.
Wir sind so in den Vorbereitungen, Backen und Tun gefangen, dass wir vergessen zu sein.
Keine Zeit, um uns auf das zu freuen, was kommt.
Die Weihnachtsfreude und Atmosphäre hineinzulassen und durch die dunklen Wintertage, wenig Sonne und volle Tage zu uns durchzudringen.

Aber Warten ist keine Verschwendung.
Wir verlieren keine Zeit oder Energie, während wir warten.
Wir kultivieren eher einen Geist und eine Gewohnheit, die im Leben ziemlich hilfreich sein können.
Wenn wir Wartezeiten gut und bewusst nutzen können, ist das eine Angewohnheit, die wir entwickeln und fördern sollten.

Eine meiner liebsten Wartezeiten im Advent ist Heiligabend.
In Deutschland ist das DER Feiertag, an dem man in die Kirche geht, ein gutes Abendessen mit der Familie hat und dann Geschenke auspackt. In unserer Familie heißt das auch, dass man dann den Weihnachtsbaum zum ersten Mal sieht.
Vielleicht kannst du es dir nicht vorstellen, aber ich habe noch nie einen Weihnachtsbaum geschmückt.
Und ich weiß auch nicht, ob ich es unbedingt will. Seit ich denken kann, hat mein Dad den Baum am 23. aufgestellt und nachts geschmückt. Keiner durfte am 24. ins Wohnzimmer schauen.
Für manchnen hört sich das komisch und grausam an, aber unsere Traditionen sind eben anders. 
Diese Stunden am Heiligabend ist was besonderes. Während man wartet, hat man Zeit nachzudenken, Aufregung im ganzen Körper zu spüren, laut zu lachen und Dummheiten mit den Geschwistern zu machen (ja, mittlerweile sind wir alle erwachsen, aber das ist egal!). 

Warten ist nicht umsonst. Das Ergebnis lohnt sich immer.
Am Abend nach Kirche und Essen zündet Dad die Kerzen an (ja, echte Kerzen am echten Baum!) und wir gehen zusammen ins Wohnzimer, singen und legen unsere Geschenke unter den Baum.
Das war schon immer so und es ist immer noch eine Art Zauber daran, den ich nicht lüften möchte.

Was sind deine Lieblingsweihnachtstraditionen? Wie verbringst du Wartezeiten?

[Advent] New Series: Waiting for Him

No matter how hard I try and work it’s the same thing every year: It’s Christmas and I can’t wait for it to be over.
It gets dark around 5pm already, the air is colder, and you can see your own breath.
You start putting on layer after layer before you go outside.
You walk around town, which is decorated with beautiful Christmas lights and somehow sets the stage for another round of hectic and exhausting shopping for Christmas presents.
You wrack your brain trying to find the perfect gift for everyone in the family and wonder which friends are close (and get a present) and which ones will get a card.
You bake cookies and eat a lot of sweet stuff.
You listen to Christmas music, but by the time Christmas Eve is here you can’t stand the tunes anymore.

You sit down at the tree and realize: It’s Christmas. 
But where is your heart? Where has it been all these weeks before?

In Germany the season of Advent is quite important.
Christmas is not just an event happening out of the blue; it is a season and starts about four weeks before the actual event.
Advent is a time of waiting.
A time of preparation.
A time of excitement.
A time of Vorfreude (a German term, meaning “pre-joy”, the joy and excitement building up to an event).

This year I don’t only want to celebrate Christmas, I want to live Advent, too. 
Wait intentionally. Because in the end, waiting might be about something bigger.  

I want to discover what I am waiting for and what my expectations are. 
I want to observe what I do while I’m waiting and see how waiting is also a reminder of the bigger picture we live in. 
Waiting is a spiritual discipline we might have to relearn, and our waiting is ultimately a yearning for the day when all promises and expectations are fulfilled, joy is complete, and fellowship is eternal. 

I want to prepare myself for Christmas and feel a little bit of that joy again that is so often drowned in stress and cheap Christmas tunes.I want to rediscover a bit of that childlike spirit within me – a child that doesn’t give in to shopping pressures and exhaustion, but decides to listen intentionally, takes pleasure in the little things, and feels a certain excitement building up inside.

So today I am launching a new series: Waiting for Him. 
In the next few weeks until Christmas you can expect a few thoughts, devotions, but also stories and Christmas traditions that might help us to make the waiting and preparing a bit more intentional. Why don’t you subscribe by email and read along?
I am looking forward to living Advent with you and I hope we allow our hearts to come along as well!

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Egal, wie sehr ich es versuche, ist es doch jedes Jahr dasselbe: Es ist Weihnachten und ich hoffe nur, dass es bald vorbei ist.
Es wird nun bereits um 5 Uhr dunkel, die Luft ist kälter und man sieht seinen eigenen Atem. 
Man muss wieder eine Schicht nach der anderen anziehen, wenn man rausgeht. Man läuft durch die Stadt, die mit tollen Lichtern dekoriert ist und irgendwie die Kulisse bietet für eine weitere Runde vollem hektischen und nervigen Geschenke einkaufen. 
Man zerbricht sich den Kopf, damit jeder das perfekte Geschenk bekommt und fragt sich, welche engen Freunde etwas bekommen und welcher Bekannte eine Karte erhält.
Man backt Plätzchen und isst genauso viele.
Man hört Weihnachtslieder, aber bis zum Heiligen Abend kann man die meisten davon nicht mehr hören.

Und dann sitzt man am Baum und merkt: Es ist Weihnachten.
Aber wo ist dein Herz? Wo war es all die Wochen davor?

In Deutschland ist Advent sehr wichtig.
Weihnachten passiert nicht einfach so; es ist eine Jahreszeit und beginnt bereits vier Wochen vorher.
Advent ist eine Zeit des Wartens.
Eine Zeit der Vorbereitung.
Eine Zeit der Aufregung.
Eine Zeit der Vorfreude.

Dieses Jahr möchte ich nicht nur Weihnachten feiern, sondern auch Advent leben.
Bewusst warten. Denn am Ende ist Warten vielleicht Teil von etwas Größerem.
Ich möchte herausfinden, warum ich warte und was meine Erwartungen sind.
Ich möchte überlegen, was ich während des Wartens tue und wie dieses Warten eine Erinnerung ist für das größere Bild.
Warten ist eine geistliche Disziplin, die wir vielleicht wieder erlernen müssen, und unser Warten ist schlussendlich ein Sehnen nach dem Tag, an dem alle Erwartungen und Versprechen erfüllt, Freude vollkommen, und Gemeinschaft ewig sein werden.
Ich möchte mich auf Weihnachten vorbereiten und ein bisschen was von der Freude zurückholen, die so oft in billigen Weihnachtsschlagern erdrückt wird.
Ich möchte ein bisschen des kindlichen Geistes in mir wieder entdecken – wie ein Kind, das nicht dem Einkaufsdruck und der Erschöpfung nachgibt, sondern bewusst hört, sich an den kleinen Dingen freut und die Vorfreude in sich aufsteigen fühlt.

Deswegen beginne ich heute eine neue Serie: Auf Ihn warten.
In den nächsten Wochen bis Weihnachten erwarten dich ein paar Gedanken, Andachten, aber auch Geschichten und Weihnachtstraditionen, die uns helfen, das Warten und Vorbereiten etwas bewusster zu machen. Warum nicht abbonieren und mitlesen?
Ich freue mich auf den Advent und hoffe, du und dein Herz sind auch mit dabei!  

[Five Minute Friday] Give

I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner for my family yesterday.
For the first time. 
In Germany we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, but I enjoyed this tradition in the States, so I brought it over and thought my family would like it, too.

We should have Thanksgiving more often.

As I was standing in the kitchen almost all day I was really looking forward to the evening. 
Eating lots of good food and spending time with family. 
I didn’t look at all the work. 
I didn’t look at all the time and energy I invested. 
I was happy and excited to give. 
Seeing their happy faces and hearing their “O my gosh, this is such good food! We should have Thanksgiving more often!” I was glad. 
Giving can be so rewarding.

The thought that crossed my mind several times was, “We should invite more people.” 
Not only is it good food, there’s something about sharing meals and fellowship you can’t really explain. It is a gift we accept and give not often enough. 
Even though this world is in such desperate need of it.

While I was cooking I was reminded of a story in the bible. 
A man prepares a big feast but none of his invited guests shows up. 
Instead of pouting he goes and invites people from the streets. Strangers. People who really needed and enjoyed a good meal. People who made this feast a most memorable moment and probably turning point in this man’s life.

And if my table and hands are full – where are the people on the streets I can invite and give to? 
Where is the lonely neighbor that might enjoy a night of fellowship? 
Where is the stressed out mother that could really use a day off? 
Where is the friend that needs cheering up in the form of turkey and apple pie? 

Let’s be grateful that we can give. 
It doesn’t take much to turn someone’s day around or make it better. 
We have been given more than enough, and only if we give to others we realize the true joy of it.

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I am linking up with Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday today. Five Minutes of Writing. No Editing. Much sharing and encouraging. 

So…what’s next?

I had my last exam on Monday. 
This means I graduated. I am done with uni. 
After a year of getting up early, studying several hours a day, and exam over exam I am finally finished. 

For the last few weeks people have been asking me how I feel. 
Relieved? Happy? Free? Excited? 
To be honest, my answer was no. 
Here’s how I feel: I am afraid. 
Terrified and uncertain. 
Not sure of the future and myself anymore. 
About to step out on the waters and doubting how crazy the waves are going to be.
Between knowing and not knowing.

I remember feeling like that after I graduated from high school. 
Leaving the old, known world behind. 
Stepping outside the comfortable system of school. 
Leaving behind the security of knowing who I was, who those around me where, and how I was supposed to act and behave. 
I thought I could never fit into another system again.

But I did. 
I entered university and was shocked to hear I would have to study for five years. 
Five long years in one place. 
These long years became very short. 
And they were filled with lots of friendships, meeting wonderful people and being incredibly blessed by what they bring to my life. 
There were many hours of reading and “aha” moments along the way. I must say I liked digging into theories, exploring complexities, and ending up with new knowledge. 
I liked studying and being nerdy sometimes. 
There, I said it. I will miss this place.

But these years were also filled with quite a bit of challenges, disappointments and tough realizations. The growth I experienced in the last five years didn’t come cheap, but mostly through struggle and endurance. 
These five years shaped me and taught me how to be, act, and behave in this new phase of my life.
And now they are over. 

I am once again at a crossroads in my life, leaving behind the old and awaiting the new. 
So what’s next is taking my time. 
Time to look back at what I leave behind. 
To be grateful for the many blessings and experiences. 
To seek true rest and enough stillness to hear the Lord’s voice again. One of the hardest and most needed things. If I don’t do it now I might never do it and I will hit rock bottom again and again. 

It might take some time to allow my heart to disengage from the old and prepare itself for the new. 
And then hopefully the feeling of fear and uncertainty will make way for true joy and excitement. There is a new system and a new me waiting out there, and it might just get better. Even though uni is over I will continue learning. From people and from life.

I guess many of these thoughts are true for all those finding themselves at a crossroads in life. Some sort of transition into a new country, culture, or phase of life. 
Know that it’s okay to take your time. 
Disengage properly, so you can be ready for what’s to come. 
I would love to hear your experiences!

Okay…for all who were wondering: Those are some of the thoughts floating around in my mind at the moment. I will update you shortly on what the next steps will look like in practice…

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Am Montag hatte ich meine letzte Prüfung. 
Das heißt, ich habe nun meinen Abschluss, die Uni ist vorbei.
Nach einem Jahr früh aufstehen, mehrere Stunden am Tag lernen und einem Examen nach dem anderen bin ich endlich fertig.

Die letzten Wochen haben mich Leute gefragt, wie ich mich fühle.
Erleichtert? Froh? Frei? Aufgeregt?
Ehrlich gesagt, war meine Antwort nein.
So fühle ich mich: Ich habe Angst.
Ich fühle mich unsicher und fürchte mich.
Ich habe keine Ahnung, wer ich bin oder wie die Zukunft wird.
Ich fühle mich, als ob ich aufs Wasser gehe und zweifle, wie krass die Wellen um mich schlagen werden. So zwischen wissen und nicht wissen.

Ich erinnere mich, dass es mir ähnlich ging, damals nach dem Abitur.
Ich ließ die alte vertraute Welt hinter mir. Ich ging hinaus aus dem bequemen Schulsystem und ließ damit die Sicherheit zurück, zu wissen, wer ich war, wer die Leute um mich herum waren und wie ich mich zu verhalten hatte.
Ich dachte, ich würde nie wieder in ein System reinpassen.

Aber genau das passierte.
Ich begann das Studium und war schockiert zu hören, dass es fünf Jahre dauern würde. 
Fünf lange Jahre an einem Ort.
Diese langen Jahre wurden plötzlich aber ganz kurz.
Und sie waren gefüllt mit vielen Freundschaften, ich habe wunderbare menschen getroffen und wurde so gesegnet mit dem, was sie in mein Leben gebracht haben.
Es waren viele Stunden voll mit Lesen und Aha-Momenten. Ich muss sagen, mir macht es Spaß, mich in Theorien und komplexe Dinge hineinzudenken und am Ende mehr Wissen zu haben. Okay, ich sag es einfach: Ich werde diesen Ort vermissen.

Aber diese Jahre waren auch voller Herausforderungen, Enttäuschungen und harten Eingeständnissen. Das Wachstum, das ich in den letzten fünf Jahren erlebt habe, war nicht billig, sondern kam vor allem durch Kämpfe und Ausdauer. Diese fünf Jahre haben mich geprägt und mich gelehrt zu sein und zu handeln in dieser neuen Phase meines Lebens. 
Und jetzt sind sie vorbei.

Ich stehe mal wieder an einer Kreuzung in meinem Leben, lasse das Alte zurück und warte auf das Neue.
Was also als nächstes kommt ist Zeit. Ich nehme mir Zeit.
Zeit, um auf das zurückzuschauen, was ich zurücklassen. 
Um dankbar zu sein für die vielen Erfahrungen und Segen.
Um wirkliche Ruhe zu suchen und genug Stille, um Gottes Stimme wieder zu hören. DAs ist eins der meistgewollten und auch der härtesten Dinge. Aber wenn ich es jetzt nicht tue, werde ich es vielleicht nie tun und immer wieder hinfallen.

Es dauert vielleicht eine Weile, meinem Herz zu erlauben, sich bewusst vom Alten loszulösen und sich auf das Neue vorzubereiten.
Und dann wird hoffentlich das Gefühl der Angst und Unsicherheit Platz  machen für wahre Freude und Spannung. Es gibt ein neues System da draußen, das auf mich wartet und es wird wahrscheinlich nur besser. Obwohl die Uni vorbei ist, lerne ich weiter. Von menschen und vom Leben.

Wahrscheinlich sind die meisten dieser Gedanken ähnlich für all diejenigen, die auch an einer Kreuzung in ihrem Leben stehen. Irgendeine Art von Übergang in ein neues Land, Kultur oder Lebensphase.
Es ist okay, dass du Zeit brauchst. Löse dich gut und vollständig, damit du bereit bist für das, was kommt.
Ich würde gerne deine Erfahrungen hören!

Okay…für alle Fragenden: Das sind ein paar der Gedanken, die mir gerade im Kopf rumgehen. Aber bald gibt’s mehr, wie das Ganze in der Praxis aussieht….

[31 Days] Day 30 Unite

It’s Day 30 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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A few weeks ago I was at a friend’s birthday party when it happened. 
We were having a barbecue in the park and some friend had brought another friend. 
We introduced ourselves and started talking. 

We had just met and yet we felt like we had known each other for years. 
And so we spent the evening talking about our lives, exchanging fun stories and challenges. 
Because we knew the other would understand. 

This immediate connection is something so special among TCKs. 
It unites us no matter the countries we lived in, no matter the amount of time we spent abroad, no matter the place we’re in right now. 


It fascinates me every time I meet a TCK. 
May it be on a TCK camp where it takes one night of games and introductions to form intimate bonds with “strangers” that have become my second family over the years. 
May it be in unexpected places, like birthday parties, train rides, university seminars. 
In our globalized world there are more and more TCKs around us – missionary kids, diplomat kids, business kids, immigrant kids or people growing up around many cultures. 

We are all united by this one bond: we’ve seen what’s out there. 
It doesn’t have to be far, it just has to be outside our own little world and comfort zone. Once you’ve been out there, you feel a connection to others who have gone, too. 

Whenever I meet a TCK my heart rejoices (and sometimes I also break into a smile, hehe). Here is this one person who gets me, who can laugh at the fun stories and won’t look away at the hard ones. 
Here is this one person who can relate my stories to their own and it helps, encourages, maybe even comforts.
Meeting a fellow TCK is sometimes like meeting a friend for the first time and the sudden depth doesn’t feel awkward at all. 

I hope for every TCK out there that you meet others with similar stories, that you find out about who you are and have others around you to connect to, to share with, to bond with. 

A big shoutout to my TCK friends all around the globe – it is a blessing knowing you and walking a bit of life together!

Can you relate to this? It might also be true for other relationships when both aren’t TCKs. Any thoughts on this?


[31 Days] Day 29 Roots

 

It’s Day 29 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!
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Roots. 
Short and weak at first, looking for some ground to be planted in, to be nurtured in.
Roots. 
Growing strong and deep with time, digging themselves deep into the ground, spreading out, building a firm foundation underground for whatever is seen above the ground.

Roots being pulled and replanted into a different soil and the whole process begins anew. By the time these roots have found some ground and planted themselves again, they are uprooted again. 


The image of roots and the feeling of rootedness is powerful in a TCK life. 
It can be quite nice to have versatile roots – you don’t cling to unnecessary things or places, you can just move and experience new great things.

It can also be very hard, though. 
Not having firm roots often makes me feel like having no foundation. 
My roots have been planted in so many soils, but do they hold me? 
Whenever I am re-planted people just see what’s above the ground. But they don’t see where I’m coming from, they don’t know my life stories, my childhood dreams, my roots.  Do I belong even though I haven’t always been around?

We’ve talked quite a bit in this space about the feeling of restlessness and rootlessness so many TCKs experience. It’s not just a current research topic, it’s connected to so many personal stories of friends or my own. 
As some of you may have heard, I graduated from university last week. What this was and is like I will be writing about after the end of this series. But now it’s time to enter the next phase of life, which is not as easy at it seems.

After years of moving around, never staying in a place for more than five years I find in myself a desire to stay. 

To not pack my bags in a while but actually decorate my room. 
To set my roots down and see what happens. 
To invest in the people I am surrounded with and experience friendships that don’t depend on Skype and time zones.

I have talked to quite a few TCK friends lately and they said similar things. 
And together we wondered about ourselves and this feeling. 

Because we are not supposed to feel like it. 

A certain restlessness seems to be engraved in our genes and we are driven to move on. So what is this sudden change of heart? 
Are we just getting older? 
Or are we simply discovering a deeper desire to belong inside of us?

We have to understand that our past doesn’t have to dictate our future. 
Enjoying the present doesn’t mean we condemn the past. 
 
So if we discover this longing inside of us, if we decide to take this bold step and put our roots down for a while – it doesn’t mean that we cut off the parts of the root that have been grown in other wonderful places. 
 
These experiences shaped, strengthened and colored our roots – and it might be time to plant a bit of that in this one place for the moment. 
If we allow our roots to settle down for a while we will experience a bit of that rest we’ve been longing for all along. 
Firm roots will allow our flowers to bloom. 

 

[Five Minute Friday] Dare

It’s Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a great writer’s community. 
It’s Day 24 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!
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TCKs are some of the most adventurous people I know. 
Many of who I met many years ago trying to fit in to Germany again are now back out there. 
Traveling the world, serving God in the hard places. 
Almost every day I get emails from younger TCKs I mentored on our TCK camps and who now go abroad again, following the travel bug. 
TCKs push themselves to new levels, countries, situations and from the outside I can often just smile and see them prosper. 

At our camps we dare them to do quite a lot and it is amazing to see what they make of it. 
The last night is always the best. 
Some sort of loose program, full with what the TCKs have to offer. 
I can only smile at the outbursts of creativity, musical skills, comedic talents. 
A formerly shy girl brings the whole house down with her jokes, and some guys don’t have a problem dancing in front of people they just met.

But it’s not always like this. 
Many TCKs come to our camps with parts of their adventure spirit missing. 
Buried in fear of what awaits them in Germany. 
We want to help them come alive again. 
Challenge them to try new things. 
They start daring to hope again that things will work out in their passport country. 
They dare to trust again. 
Trust that they’ll find new friends at a new place. 
Trust that God is the same, no matter how much they change. 

When did you have to dare yourself to step out? 

[31 Days] Day 20 Bug

It’s Day 20 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Today you can read the second part of a series done by Wera. 
We have known each other for years through the TCK camps we attended together. But only recently we talked and found this strange desire of rest inside of us. Are we allowed to rest or do we seem to have this bug inside of us that just makes us move all the time?
I am very happy that Wera shares her thoughts here with us! Here’s Part 1, in case you missed it!
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Of course I know that part of that longing can never be satisfied by any earthly thing or person, and that there is a spiritual dimension to rest which is not dependent on life circumstances. 
It is an intrinsic part of the human experience to carry a longing inside of us that we cannot quite define and that will never be fulfilled, but that nevertheless keeps driving us to look for something else in life – and I think TCKs feels this more acutely.
 

 

And yet my (albeit limited) experience of living in the same place for a bit longer has also taught me that there is a certain rest that comes with knowing your way around a place, knowing how people tick, and knowing who you are in relation to that particular place. And there is even more rest in deep friendships in which we are intimately known, and feel safe, understood and loved. 

 

But it takes time for this kind of intimacy and trust to grow. 

 

And yes, in the time that it takes to build strong relationships, routine also settles in and life can get dry and repetitive, and with that come the itchy feet. 

 

And yet there is something very beautiful in connecting more deeply with a place and its people over a longer period of time, and although it sometimes sucks, it’s an experience that’s worth sticking around for. 
I’ve noticed that for me, less adventure and less change often seem to bring more rest for my soul and personal growth of a different type – the type that strengthens my roots rather than my wings.
 
And the older I get, the more my soul seems to long for rest over adventure. 
At the moment I oscillate between feeling thirsty for adventure and full of excitement and energy for all the things I could do with my life now that I’ve finished university, and between feeling overwhelmed at the vastness of options in front of me and apprehensive about a lack of stability in the next few years. 
Most people at my stage in life have at least some basic variables in place (they tend to have some fairly set ideas about where to live, who with, and/or what they want to do), but I seem to lack any sort of parameters in my life. 
 
And whilst part of me is excited and grateful to be so free and independent and not tied to any particular place, person or profession, part of me is also envious of friends who are already much more settled or heading in a clear direction in life. 
I’m beginning to accept that my attitude towards moving has become more complex and somewhat paradoxical, and that it’s okay to be confused about what I want. 
We’ll see which of these contrasting feelings and desires end up dominating my life. 
But for now, I’m going to acknowledge, and welcome, the fact that alongside my continuous longing for change and adventure, a new longing for rest and stability has also crept up – and it seems to be growing.
 
How do you deal with your feeling of restlessness? Is the strange desire for rest familiar to you? 

[31 Days] Day 19 Rest

It’s Day 19 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Today you can read the first part of a 2-day series done by Wera. She is German but grew up in Guinea-Bissau and likes to pretend that she’s British. She’s just graduated from Durham University with a BA in Arabic and politics, and is currently working as an aupair in Spain.

We have known each other for years through the TCK camps we attended together. But only recently we talked and found this strange desire of rest inside of us. I am very happy that she shares her thoughts here with us! 
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Feeling restless is an intrinsic part of my identity. 
As a TCK who has moved frequently, I’ve experienced and internalised a colourful (and sometimes confusing) mixture of cultures, habits, beliefs, traditions, languages and relationships. 
Constant change and diversity seem to be of a somewhat addictive nature, and I have often noticed in myself a deep restlessness and a strong urge to move and experience something new that seems to kick in after around two years of staying in the same place.

 

 

By the time I was 12 I’d already moved about a dozen times, but then my family settled more permanently in Germany. After a couple of years it dawned on me that I would essentially have to stay in Germany for several more years until I finished high school. 

Not only did that thought fill me with dread, but I couldn’t even truly conceive of it, having never lived anywhere for more than three years at the very most. 

 

I promptly began to think about ‘escape routes’, and ended up going to England for an exchange year at the age of 15. What was meant to be just one year abroad to get some restlessness out of my system turned into a string of adventures in various countries. 

 

 
Seven years later, I’ve just moved for the eighth time since, this time to Spain, after having lived in the UK, France and Palestine. When people hear my life story they often ask me which country I’d like to settle in eventually. I never really get that question. 
I just cannot imagine life without moving frequently, so I usually joke that even if I found paradise, I’d still get bored and restless and would want to move after 2-3 years.
 
However, as much as I struggle to imagine being settled or even living anywhere more long-term (which I’d define as 3+ years), I’ve recently discovered in myself a strange new desire quietly creeping up alongside the one for adventure and change – a desire for stability and rest.

 

I’ve just graduated from university and am currently working as an aupair in Spain for a few months; after that I hope to find a job teaching English in the Middle East for a couple of years before maybe doing an MA in goodness-knows-where. My parents and siblings are about to be scattered across three different continents. 
So the next few years look unlikely to hold much constancy for me, and I’m surprised to now notice in myself not just excitement, but also exhaustion, at this thought. 
After all my experience of moving, I know the joy of engaging with and learning from people with a different culture and worldview to mine – but I also know the frustration of not being able to fully express myself and being misunderstood because of language and cultural barriers. 
I know the thrill that comes from exploring new places and experiencing a new way of life – but I also know what it feels like to be lonely and homesick. 
And when I say ‘homesick’, what I mean is not a longing for a particular place or particular people, but for a particular feeling – one of rest, of belonging, of being seen and understood for who I really am, and accepted and loved as such. 
 
Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow!

[Five Minute Friday] Long

It’s another Friday, so I am linking up with the writer community at Kate Motaung‘s place.

This post is part 17 of the series “31 Days in the Life of a TCK”. 
Come join the whole conversation here. Don’t forget to subscribe! 
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“Africa? You’re going to Africa? This is so far away! It’s desert there, lots of dangerous animals, and only poor people!”
I remember my grandma saying things like that when we first told her we would be moving South. She came from a little village and hadn’t gone further than the European boarders, so she was terrified. Terrified to lose her children and grandchildren to heat, sickness, or lions.
She was terrified because she didn’t know. Africa was a long way for her. 

But we went. All the long 8000 km to beautiful Uganda. 
In these two years we had maybe 3 phone conversations (it was before the highspeed internet and smartphone age) with us walking around in the garden to get reception and screaming: “You there? Can you hear me? Merry Christmas, Grandma!” and the signal broke off.
Uganda is a long way.

Fortunately, we had a visitor one day who brought a video camera, so we shot a film for grandma, showing her everything in this new home of ours. The way we lived, the GREEN grass (Uganda is close to the equator and pretty green in rain season), the people we had come to love. 
The next letter we got from her was very different. “Now I know where you are. Now I can be at peace. Africa is not as different as I thought.”

Suddenly, Uganda isn’t such a long way after all. 
Long distances can become very small if we know how to bridge them well. 
I am not saying the kilometers magically disappear. 
And trust me, as soon as I hang up on a skype conversation I feel the distance more than ever before. 
But thank God for so many ways to make the long distances come closer to us. 
To allow the world to reach us where we are. 

Having the world close to us can have its challenges as well – stay tuned for this part tomorrow!

How did/do you experience distances in your life? Any funny stories to tell?