[31 Days] Day 13 Fear

It’s Day 13 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! We are slowly moving deeper in the topic and looking into some issues TCKs might struggle with. 
Today another TCK friend Daniel Vedder is sharing his thoughts. Daniel grew up in Congo DR, Zambia and Germany. After finishing his schooling in Germany, he is currently doing a gap year back at his old school in Zambia.
You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!
Everybody knows what it is, everybody has encountered it at some point. 
There are many different types of fear. 
Fear of snakes, fear of the dark, fear of death. 
And then there is the fear of the unknown. 
I think this is one particular fear that most TCKs can relate to.

I remember it only too well myself, returning to my passport country of Germany three years ago, after a childhood spent almost exclusively in Africa. 
I vividly recall stepping out of the airport and seeing the lights of the city of Frankfurt light up the night sky. 
And suddenly I felt fear – fear of what lay ahead, of the society that I would have to adapt to, but most of all simply a fear of the great unknown surrounding me.

And then again some weeks later, on the first day of school. 
After my small mission school of 100 pupils I was terrified as I walked into the new school, a huge maze of corridors and classrooms filled with a jostling throng of over a thousand students. 

These fears are only too common. 
New, unknown situations can be frightening – and as TCKs, we experience them all the time. 
But there is comfort. 
I remember that morning, on the first day of school, I stumbled upon the following verses in my devotions:

“But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth and called from its farthest corners, saying to you: ‘You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off’; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

(Isaiah 41:8-10, ESV)

Did/do you experience fear of the unknown ahead of you? 
How did/do you deal with it?

[Five Minute Friday] Care

It’s another Friday, so I am linking up with the writer community at Kate Motaung‘s place.
This post is part 10 of the series “31 Days in the Life of a TCK”. 
Come join the whole conversation here. Don’t forget to subscribe! 

When we arrived in Uganda we were the only white family in the village. 
But this did not matter because we quickly grew into a new unique family with the people around us.

There were many neighbors around who came by to check out the Mzungus or to play ball. 
We always had tea and cake ready cause no day went by without spontaneous visitors. 
The village became a caring community. 

But also the people on the same compound were our family. 
One lady taught me how to play guitar since the only key instrument in the entire village was a very out of tune church organ. 
Another lady explained Latin syntax to me since I had been convinced that I had to learn Latin in homeschool. Yes, it was a pain but I have a – let’s say unique – relationship to this subject.  
These people, no matter the skin color, were our family. 
They took on roles of far away relatives and told us bedtime stories, they challenged us, they sometimes annoyed us. 
But they took care of us and made us a home away from home. 

 Whenever I moved I found this to be true. 
As soon as you step outside your comfort zone you’re out there. 
Away from home. And it is hard. 
But if you keep your eyes open you’ll find a new home. 
A community of fellow adventurers in South Africa. 
A group of students in Germany. 
A bunch of internationals living the American Dream.
You will find people who care for you if you allow yourself to open up and let them care for you. Away from comfort and familiarity you will find a surprising comfort in people you never suspected. 

Do you have people who take care of you where you are at the moment? 
And where can you be a person taking care of someone else? 

[Five Minute Friday] Begin

Yesterday was the day.
The day things came to an end.
I had my stateboard exam in English, a five hour exam and then it was done.
I studied five years for this. Now I am one step (and only one more exam) closer to graduation.
It was strange.

Yesterday, my roommate moved out.
We had shared an apartment for three years, enjoyed late night movie and laughter sessions,
lived a bit of life together.
When I got back home last night she was gone.
Her room was completely empty and I could hear my own voice echoing from the plain white walls.
It was strange.

While I feel sad about things coming to an end, I cannot deny a second emotion springing up in my heart: excitement.
Pure joy.
Apprehension of what comes next.

Graduation means stepping out into the world.
Getting a job. Moving on. Let’s see what life throws at me then.
An empty room means a new roommate. Breaking up of old habits, redecorating.
New people, new fun, new ideas.

In German we have a saying, “there’s magic in every new beginning” (Jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne).
And I am about to find out a little more if that’s true.

One last time the fabulous Lisa-Jo Baker is hosting Five Minute Friday- thank you!

With quiet, soft steps…./Mit leisen Schritten…

Isn’t life ironic sometimes?
Just two days ago I posted about this feeling that’s been creeping up in me over the last few weeks. Things around me are coming to an end, passing by my eyes, and I can just look after them and whisper a quiet ‘Goodbye’.
And now, Lisa-Jo Baker talks about finishing well in the Five Minute Friday prompt – spot on. So I  post my thoughts again and hope you’ll join the conversation!
photo credit: Nathan Martin

With quiet, soft steps a part of my life says goodbye, and I am too busy to mourn it.
This week was full of ‘lasts’. 
The last paper, the last office hour with a professor, the last seminar.
A few weeks ago already was the last presentation, but I only realized it afterwards. 

It’s a lot of small steps, but they make a big difference, and I become aware of it only bit by bit. 
It’s the end of five years at uni. 
Five years of studying, of thinking and diving into complexities.
Five years of lights going on when I got something.
Five years of crazy study groups and wonderful people.

What I find most interesting or sad about it is not necessarily that it’s over, but that I don’t have time to say goodbye. Too many appointments, deadlines, and thoughts in my head keep me from saying Tschüss properly. 

But it is so important to not just go from one thing to the next. Don’t mourn nostalgically and never let go, but look back on everything you accomplished with pride. Enjoy and be grateful. 
Every step into something new is a bit easier if you finished the step before that well.  

I have written about this topic before, and I feel it will be part of my thoughts for a while. Things become a little easier with a RAFT
Life will always be full of ‘lasts’ and new beginnings. 
A life without movement is impossible – and honestly, who would want that? 
Without movement we are stuck, get rusty, die a little. 
But we can make transitions easier by making them consciously. 

You have to close doors behind you sometimes to know which open ones you can go through next.

How do you make transitions in your life? If you already graduated, how did you celebrate/experience/miss the end of your studies?

Mit leisen Schritten verabschiedet sich ein Lebensabschnitt und ich bin zu beschäftigt, ihm hinterher zu trauern.
Diese Woche war voll mit letzten Dingen. 

Die letzte Hausarbeit, die letzte Sprechstunde beim Dozenten, das letzte Seminar. 
Vor einigen Wochen schon war das letzte Referat, mir ist es aber erst danach aufgefallen.
Es sind viele kleine Schritte, aber sie machen doch einen großen Unterschied, der mir erst nach und nach bewusst wird. 
Es ist das Ende von fünf Jahren Uni. 
Fünf Jahre voller lernen und sich in Dinge reindenken.
Fünf Jahre Aha Erlebnisse haben. 
Fünf Jahre mit verrückten Lerngruppen und tollen Menschen.
Was ich an dem Ganzen interessant oder traurig finde ist nicht unbedingt, dass es zu Ende geht, sondern dass ich keine Zeit habe, Abschied zu nehmen. 
Viel zu viele Termine, deadlines und Gedanken im Kopf um bewusst ciao zu sagen.
Dabei ist es so wichtig, nicht einfach von einem zum nächsten zu gehen. 
Nicht wehmütig hinterher zu trauern und nicht loslassen, sondern mit Stolz auf das zurückblicken, was man geschafft hat. 
Sich freuen und dankbar sein. 
Jeder Schritt in etwas neues ist einfacher, wenn man den Schritt davor gut beendet hat.
Über dieses Thema habe ich schon öfter geschrieben und ich glaube, es wird mich noch ein bisschen länger beschäftigen. Mit einem RAFT geht so manches leichter. 

Das Leben wird immer wieder letzte Dinge und Neuanfänge haben. Ein Leben ohne Bewegung gibt es nicht – und ganz ehrlich, wer will das auch? Ohne Bewegung bleibt man stehn, rostet ein, stirbt. Aber man kann die Übergänge leichter machen, indem man sie bewusst macht. 

Man muss manchmal Türen hinter sich zumachen, um zu wissen, durch welche offenen man als nächstes gehen soll. 

Wie gestaltet du Übergänge in deinem Leben? Wie hast du das Ende deines Studiums erlebt/ gefeiert/verpasst?

[Five Minute Friday] Belong

It was nearly twelve years ago.
We had just come back to Germany, and even though it had only been two years – this time in Uganda had turned my world upside down. I had left as a child and came back as an adult.

Now I sat in a classroom with people I didn’t know, who spoke of things I didn’t know.
I paid with a currency I didn’t know as ‘German’.
I didn’t laugh at any jokes because I had no idea what ‘normal’ teenagers would laugh at.
I was incredibly tired of people asking me how Uganda had been (Have you seen elephants and snakes? Did you kill a lion? Do you speak ‘African’ now?), but as soon as I said no, they lost interest.

I felt utterly lost and in the wrong place.
All I wanted was to belong.
Isn’t that what we all want? I believe it’s a core longing in a human being.
To know who I was, what I could and couldn’t do.
To be me and others to be okay with it.

And it happened.
On a camp in the middle of nowhere, on a weekend with a lot of rain.
A group of people who had grown up in Russia, Brazil, Tanzania, or Egypt – all stranded in their ‘home culture’ Germany and having now clue about anything.
As soon as we started talking we clicked.
No matter where you have lived, no matter how long you’ve been gone, no matter how old you are – you are one of them.

We are all Third Culture Kids.
We feel lost in every single culture we have lived in, as if we don’t fit in any of them.
So we build our own space where we can find safety; a place we can call home.
Where we can be ourselves, as crazy, funny, or sad it might be.

This is a place to belong. And it is to this day.
Faces might have changed, people have grown up.
But as soon as I meet fellow TCKs face-to-face or via email/phone/skype, it is always the same feeling.
A feeling of belonging. Of family. Of home.

An hommage to my beloved TCK family – but I am also linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. One word. Write for five minutes. Don’t edit and share!

[Five Minute Friday] Together

A normal person can call one specific place home, can name five or more friends they know since childhood, they know their little towns in and out. They belong. Even if they leave this place they just have to return home to be with people and places again. To be together.
Well, I guess I am not normal. If you ask me where home is it might take a while to explain. The places I am familiar with include the comfort of airports, the African red soil under your feet, the rain on iron sheet roofs. I can’t give you a name of my best friend, since they might change quickly. Friends are categorized by continent, country, period of my life we have spent together.
We were together then, but we are no longer now. We might be together now, but who knows where life takes me next? I can’t say.
What I can say is this: Even though we aren’t together I often wish we were. So badly that it hurts physically. No skype call (even video) can compete with a real hug, lying on the floor laughing so hard your tummy hurts, tasting new food, being still together. Technology brings you close, but not together.
While you and I move on with our lives, each in different parts of the world, meeting new people, places and challenges, we can miss and pray for each other.
This spiritual connection is such a sweet blessing to every friendship; it encourages and keeps alive the hope that we will be together again – at a place where continents, distance and skype calls don’t exist. Soon.
What a great word at Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday today! Much love to all readers and my dear, dear friends around the world.

[Five Minute Friday] Laundry

Laundry. Making dirty things look shiny again. Water. Soap.
Open the flap, put in your clothes and soap, close the flap.
Press the button.
Come back an hour later and your clothes are clean.

I guess this is how most of us do laundry.
Maybe once a week, maybe heaps of it if you have a big family.
Maybe the result is not always pleasing because you have not figured out the “separate your colors” rule yet.
This is laundry in Europe, the US or any other Western country.

But I remember a cooler, social way of doing laundry.
My childhood/teenage memories are filled with images of big pots of hot water, boiling underwear on a charcoal stove, women bending down for several hours, washing heaps of clothes by hand.
This is laundry the Ugandan style.

I remember the girl who used to help us with laundry and other things. Whenever we had a break in our home school rhythm we would sit with her, see how she washes the clothes and gave her a hand. While we rubbed the dirty pieces of clothes against each other, we would chat, exchange the latest news, laugh about the German-African differences, but also share family troubles or just life problems.
Doing laundry was not only about cleaning clothes, but also washing your heart and soul, getting rid of the week’s dirt and baggage.

How come that we do laundry so often, but don’t really take stock of our “emotional laundry”? Might be  refreshing, healing, cleansing once in a while.

It’s Friday- over at Lisa Jo Baker you will find a lot more stories on Laundry today!

I pledge allegiance…do I really?/Für was steh ich eigentlich?

We will have general elections in Germany this Sunday – people vote their new government, voice their opinions, take a stand. There’s posters everywhere with slogans, big promises and smiling faces of the candidates. And everywhere there’s talk of the masses of people who scare every politician: those who won’t vote. Those who don’t voice their opinion or take up their responsibility as a citizen of this country.

Far too often, that’s me.
It’s occasions like an election that make me realize that I have a problem with allegiances. A rather sophisticated term, the dictionary defines it as “devotion or loyalty to a person, group, or cause.” What am I devoted to? Who do I support? Is there something I am passionate about enough so I would protest, go on the streets, to the newspapers, blog for it?
It’s just so much easier to sit at home, sulk in complaints, misery- or simply accept whatever is going on around me. Speaking of change is so much easier than standing up for it. Bold moves are easiest when sitting on the couch at home. This can be said about political or social issues, but unfortunately also about faith sometimes. Values I treasure are trampled on the ground, people who need my help suffer from injustice – and I remain silent.

This is not allegiance. This is comfort. This also means having no foundation, no frame of reference for your life, no feeling of security. You have to accept everything, tolerate everything, battle with everything. This is exhausting, overwhelming and not satisfactory. One German party has posters saying: Why am I even up here? You won’t vote anyway.
And that’s the point. It’s not about having an opinion about everything everyone. It’s about being aware of things, not giving in to comfort and ignorance. It’s about searching for a frame of reference until you found it. It’s about finding the essential things in life – those that truly deserve your allegiance. Found it? Then cling to it, speak up for it, take a stand for it. Jesus definitely deserves our allegiance, and may he grant us the courage to live it out.

Allegiance can also mean “fidelity of a citizen to the government.” One way to make this practical in Germany is to gather information about different parties and the future of this country, step up to the polls on Sunday, and continue to pray for those in responsibility- whoever will win at 6pm.

Am Sonntag wird in Deutschland gewählt- Leute wählen eine neue Regierung, tun ihre Meinung kund, stellen sich auf eine Seite. Überall hängen Plakate mit Slogans und lächelnden Gesichtern. Und alle haben Angst vor der Masse an Leuten, die nicht wählen gehen werden. Die ihre Stimme nicht erheben und ihre Verantwortung als Bürger nicht wahrnehmen. 

Viel zu oft gehöre ich da dazu. 
An solchen Gelegenheiten merke ich, dass es mir schwerfällt, mich festzulegen. “Einstehen” ist ein etwas hochgestochener Begriff, sich einer Sache widmen. Wem widme ich mich denn? Wen unterstütze ich? Ist mir eine Sache so wichtig, dass ich dafür auf die Straße gehe, protestiere oder darüber schreibe?
Es ist so viel einfacher zuhause zu sitzen, in Beschwerden zu versinken und einfach zu akzeptieren, was um einen vorgeht. Von Veränderung zu reden ist so viel einfacher als dafür aufzustehen. Mutige Schritte sind am einfachsten auf dem Sofa zuhause. Das trifft zu für politische oder soziale Themen, und leider oft auch für den Glauben. Werte, die mir wichtig sind, werden auf dem Boden zertrampelt; Menschen, die mich brauchen, leiten unter Ungerechtigkeit – und ich schweige. 

Das ist keine Loyalität, das ist Bequemlichkeit. Damit hat man aber auch kein Fundament, keinen Referenzrahmen, keine Sicherheit. Du musst alles akzeptieren, alles tolerieren, dich mit allem herumschlagen. Und das ist erschöpfend, überwältigend und nicht befriedigend. Wie eine deutsche Partei sagt: Warum häng ich hier überhaupt? Ihr geht doch eh nicht wählen. Und darum gehts: Nicht darum, zu allem und jedem ne Meinung zu haben. Sondern sich bewusst sein über die Dinge, die um einen herum passieren, sich nicht mit Bequemlichkeit und Unwissenheit zufrieden geben. Solange nach einem Referenzrahmen zu suchen, bis man einen gefunden hat, der passt. Die wichtigen Dinge im Leben finden- die wirklich unsere Loyalität verdienen. Hast du’s gefunden? Dann halt dich daran fest, sprich dich dafür aus, steh dafür auf. Jesus verdient auf jeden Fall unsere Loyalität und möge er uns Mut geben, diese auch auszuleben. 

In Deutschland geht das diesen Sonntag ganz praktisch, denn Loyalität kann auch heißen “für die Regierung einstehen.” Informier dich über die verschiedenen Parteien und dann geh wählen am Sonntag! Und bete für die in Verantwortung, egal wer um 6 Uhr als Gewinner da steht. 

Back to my old-new world/Zurück in meine alte-neue Welt

It is nearly three months since I am back from the US; after two months of working and getting used to German life again it is time to move one step further: moving back to Tübingen, back to my own life, back to a routine I am used to.
It was great getting back to my apartment which I hadn’t seen in six months. I realized it’s great moving out once in a while, because when you get back you can decorate all over again, bring in new ideas and not be stuck in “this is how it’s always been”. Getting some distance helps to find new perspectives to old things.
The apartment may be an external sign of coming back into old things and bringing in new ideas. The internal process, however, is a lot more difficult. Who of the old friends is still around? Might they have changed? How much did I change myself? Will I like German classes again? Do I want to take care of myself again? And how do put all the things I have learnt while being abroad (which is, outside of my normal “world”) into practice in my everyday life (which is, comfortable and easy as long as you don’t change something). The question remains: To what extent do I want to go back to the routine I was used to and where do I need to brake it up?
Well, I have been “on my own” for a week now and I discovered good and bad things again. I am still observing myself and kind of struggling with the practice stuff, so let me ponder a bit more about that before I spill it. But here are some spoilers, called “from old to new” or “a new look to an old friend”…

…and after

Africa is still with me…
…but a new space was added to the chimney wall to remember the American friends
Ein neuer Platz am Kamin, um die amerikanischen Freunde nicht zu vergessen
A little American treat in Germany: biscuits!
Ein bisschen Amerika in Deutschland: Buttermilchbrötchen!

Es sind fast drei Monate, seit ich aus den USA wieder da bin; nach zwei Monaten Arbeiten und wieder in Deutschland einleben wird es Zeit, einen Schritt weiterzugehen: zurück nach Tübingen, zurück in mein eigenes Leben, zurück in eine Routine, die ich gewohnt bin. 
Es war schön, wieder in meine Wohnung zurückzukommen, die ich sechs Monate nicht gesehen hatte. Mir fiel auf, dass es ganz gut ist, vielleicht ab und an mal auszuziehen, denn wenn man wiederkommt, kann man wieder von neuem dekorieren, neue Ideen einbringen und nicht im “so war’s schon immer” steckenbleiben. Distanz hilft, neue Perspektive für alte Dinge zu bekommen. 
Die Wohnung ist vielleicht ein äußeres Zeichen, dass man in alte Dinge zurückkommt und neue Ideen einbringt. Der innere Prozess dahinter ist aber viel schwieriger. Wer der alten Freunde ist noch da? Wie haben die sich verändert? Wie sehr habe ich mich verändert? Werde ich die deutschen Seminare wieder interessant finden? Will ich mich wieder um mich selbst kümmern? Und wie setze ich alle Dinge, die ich im Ausland gelernt habe (also, außerhalb meiner normalen “Welt”) im Alltag in die Praxis um (also, wo es so viel bequemer und einfacher ist, wenn man nix ändert). Die Frage bleibt: Inwieweit will ich wieder in meine Routine zurück und wo muss ich sie durchbrechen?
Tja, ich war jetzt ca. eine Woche wieder auf mich alleingestellt und habe dabei gute und schlechte Dinge herausgefunden. Ich beobachte mich gerade selbst ein bisschen und kämpfe an manchen Stellen noch, deshalb muss ich noch etwas drüber nachdenken, bevor ich was dazu schreiben kann. Aber hier mal eine kleine Vorausschau, quasi “aus Alt mach Neu” oder “ein neuer Look für einen alten Freund”…

What can happen in 20 minutes/ Was kann in 20 Minuten alles passieren

After a few relaxing days at my parents’ place I had to face the real world again and take care of some paperwork. I went to Tübingen for a few days (the city where I normally study). For my dear friends from somewhere outside Germany: here’s map which might be helpful when I talk about all these places. Basically, we’re looking at the South of Germany…=)
The city is not that important, rather the people who live there. I was so blessed to have the opportunity to stay with friends. They have just bought a new apartment and had a spare bedroom. They picked me up from the train station (what a nice surprise!) and spoiled me from head to toe for all the days I stayed there. I am really, really grateful- they made the visit very worth while! Thank you, Sophie and Rico!!!
I had time to sleep in, relax, read, spend time with the Lord…But also wander the city- it is still as beautiful as I remembered it to be- and meet friends. It was great to see that some old connections are still there and we could just pick up where we left off. Thank you everyone, who was spontaneous enough for dinner, coffee etc.- really appreciated it!
One other big part was to go back to university- not to study but to take care of papers and signatures. When I came back I suddenly realized that I have to plan more than just the new semester (starting in April). I have to finish some courses but basically I have to plan my final state board examinations and when I want to graduate. Wow, that was a little overwhelming! I knew it would be coming someday, but it just sounded like big decisions. I don’t want to bother you with complicated examination regulations, but basically I have to go to several professors and ask them to examine me. They do not always take you, and some of them I have never spoken to before. But since I only had these few days in the city I went from office hour to office hour, talking to professors about exams which will take place next year in spring and fall. I went in to get some information and came out 20 minutes later, being registered for the exams- crazy! Normally, you have to wait an hour since so many people want to talk to the professors but I never had to wait! I had nice chats with each of them.
Thinking about it, I am still a little overwhelmed. Even though it’s still about 1,5 years to go, graduation has become a real goal and very tangible. On the one hand, I am a little afraid when I think about all the studying, all the reading, all the late nights…I am not sure if I want to leave the safe haven of university and take care of “real life”. On the other hand, I can already feel excitement rising up in me- the world is out there and I am ready for it! I want life to be lived and not just observe it from the outside!
Well, 20 minutes is not a lot of time, but sometimes they can change a lot…

First train ride in Germany and it’s late! So much for German punctuality…
Erstes Mal wieder Bahnfahren und der Zug ist verspätet! So viel also zu dt. Pünktlichkeit…
Perfect welcome- I definitely felt at home!
Was für eine Begrüßung- da habe ich mich auf jeden Fall zuhause gefühlt!
In the quiet, Lord, is where I find you…
In der Stille finde ich dich, Herr…
Nach ein paar erholsamen Tagen bei meinen Eltern musste ich die Welt wieder reinlassen und ein bisschen Papierkram erledigen. Es ging für ein paar Tage nach Tübingen (wo ich normalerweise studiere). Oben findet ihr eine Karte für all diejenigen, die von den vielen Namen immer verwirrt sind…=)
Es kommt ja nicht nur auf die Stadt an, sondern eher auf die Leute, die da wohnen. Ich war wirklich gesegnet, dass ich bei Freunden bleiben konnte. Sie haben sich gerade eine Wohnung gekauft, wo es auch ein Gästezimmer gibt. Sie holten mich vom Bahnhof ab (was für eine schöne Überraschung!) und haben mich auch sonst rundrum verwöhnt. Dafür bin ich mehr als dankbar- vielen, vielen Dank, Sophie und Rico!
Ich hatte einfach Zeit zum Schlafen, Ausruhen, lesen, Zeit mit Gott…Aber auch Spaziergänge durch die Stadt- sie ist immer noch so schön wie vorher- und Freunde zu treffen. Es war schön zu sehen, dass man nach wie vor verbunden ist und einfach anknüpfen konnte, wo man aufgehört hatte. Danke an jeden, der spontan genug für ein Essen, Kaffee etc. war- wirklich!
Außerdem ging es zurück zu Uni, aber nicht zum studieren, sondern für Papierkram. Als ich zurückkam, fiel mir auf, dass ich weit mehr als das neue Semester (mit Beginn im April) planen muss. Ein paar Scheine fehlen noch, aber trotzdem ist es jetzt Zeit, mein Staatsexamen und den Abschluss zu planen. Das war erstmal etwas überwältigend! Natürlich wusste ich, dass es irgendwann mal kommt, aber es hörte sich erstmal nach wichtigen Entscheidungen an. Ich will euch nicht mit komplizierten Prüfungsordnungen langweilen, es geht letzlich darum, dass ich mit Professoren sprechen muss, ob sie mich prüfen wollen. Nicht immer nehmen sie dich und mit manchen hatte ich noch nie zuvor gesprochen. Aber da ich eben nur ein paar Tage in der Stadt war, ging ich von Sprechstunde zu Sprechstunde, sprach mit Professoren über Examen, die nächstes Jahr im Frühjahr und Herbst stattfinden werden. Eigentlich ging ich nur hin, um ein paar Informationen zu bekommen und kam 20 Minuten später raus und war fürs Staatsexamen angemeldet- verrückt! Normalerweise wartet man bei manchen Professoren eine Stunde, weil so viele andere auch da sind, aber ich musste nie warten! Alle waren sehr nett und wir haben uns gut unterhalten. 

Wenn ich darüber nachdenke, ist es immer noch etwas überwältigend. Obwohl es noch gut 1,5 Jahre sind, scheint der Abschluss nun real und greifbarer zu sein. Auf der einen Seite bin ich etwas ängstlich, wenn ich an all das Lernen, Lesen und wenig Schlaf denken…Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob ich die “sichere” Uni verlassen und “richtig leben” will. Auf der anderen Seite kommt jetzt schon die Aufregung und Vorfreude auf- die Welt ist da draußen und da will ich hin! Das Leben soll gelebt werden und ich will nicht nur Beobachter von außen sein!
Zwanzig Minuten sind wirklich keine lange Zeit, aber manchmal können sie einiges verändern…