Three weeks ago the new school year started and for the first time in many years, I wasn’t part of it. My sabbatical began right after summer break and I now live without my familiar rhythms of schedules, demands and regular tasks. Instead of following other people’s expectations, I need to define my own.
People tend to ask me how I enjoy this new freedom and I often struggle to answer. Yes, I am grateful for the absence of a strict schedule, the flexibility to make spontaneous decisions and the immense privilege to explore the world.
But this freedom comes at a price and only now do I realize how much of a structure and validation my job has provided me with. This freedom, how liberating it may be, can be a challenge. I want to make the most out of it and feel pressure not to waste a single day. I research and reflect on what I really want to do, but struggle to actually decide on something. I cannot make theoretical decisions so far into the future when I don’t even know about next week.
Maybe some steps will only become clear when I actually take some steps.
Maybe sight will only be as far as I actually stumble forwards, one foot and one decision after the other.
Maybe some trips will feel like a journey into the dark and being surprised by little lights along the way.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
Hi Katha,
Ich freu mich immer voll von dir zu lesen und bedauere jedes Mal, dass wir den Kontak verloren haben.
Und ich freue mich sehr für dich, dass du diese Pause hast. Kann mir vorstellen, dass es gleichzeitig auch fast überwältigend ist.
Falls du mal irgendwann magst, bist du immer herzlich willkommen bei uns. Ich wohn mit meinen beiden Mädels in der Nähe von Heidelberg. Das Leben ist aktuell ziemlich voll und getaktet, aber wir haben ein Gästezimmer und vielleicht passt es mal 😉
Liebe Grüße Rosa