Inside the Mess

On Wednesday I had visitors come over who wanted to stay the night.
I was looking forward to their visit, but I was also a little nervous.
My schedule was completely packed because I had been in and out of the city for the most part of the last two weeks. There were clothes lying around on the floor, unpacked bags on the chairs, piles of paper on the table. A fine layer of dust covered the surfaces. My apartment was a mess.
How could I invite people into this place?
So I started cleaning on Tuesday night, frantically getting rid of the chaos and presenting the best version of me and my place.

Why do I do this?
Why do I care so much about what others think?
Why do we polish our lives online and offline?

Sometimes I wonder if we do similar things with God.
If our lives were like an apartment, we would only show him the living room where everything is neat and tidy.
We would clean up and present the best version of ourselves.
We would keep him away from the dusty corners and the dark sub-basement.

The visit was great and it was really nice to meet all these new people.
For those who know me a little also know that I love hosting people.
But the next morning I woke up with the worst headache.
Suddenly I felt really uncomfortable.
Me, the hostess, couldn’t host anymore.
I had to drop my facade and allow others to see inside my mess. They looked into cupboards and drawers, they moved around in my house.
They saw a little bit more of me.

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And somehow they didn’t seem to mind at all.
What if we stopped worrying for a second and decide to let go?
What if the moments of seemingly “losing it” lead to greater depth and connection?
What if God wanted to see it all?
What if he was more interested in our darkness than  our superficial perpection?
What if this mess actually leads to true healing?


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Author: Katha von Dessien

Teacher. Believer. Third Culture Kid. World Traveler. People Lover. Writer.

7 thoughts on “Inside the Mess”

  1. Hi Katha, I am new to your blog, but I love what I get to read here. This post especially touched my heart as I find myself caught with the same thoughts when I get visitors (“I should tidy up… and oh man, look at that dirty kitchen floor.. etc). I think it is quite liberating, both for ourselves and for others to be authentic and real – and my real self is a bit chaotic and prefers to spend time in my garden to cleaning my kitchen floor every other day. I think it is encouraging though for others, because the see the imperfection in our lives and some of our weeknesses, and it can bring us to a deeper, more honest Level. Same with God – when I am true to myself, admitting things I struggle with or that I want to hide from God, I can more frankly be in a conversation, in prayer and “letting go” with HIM.
    Dear Greetings, and I am looking Forward to read more from you (including your book to come :), Theresia

  2. Oh, yes! I wholeheartedly believe He loves the messy me more than the superficial me. It’s when I allow Him behind the facade when real connection takes place. Visiting from FMF, and so glad I did. Your post struck a wonderful chord with me. Happy Writing!

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