One of the best things about being a writer is meeting lots of other talented writers. Kasia and I met as students and remained good friends. She had a baby a few months ago, and I love that she chose to write about how this experience has changed her life. I hope you enjoy her words!
I was never a night life person. Never a night owl.
Meeting friends, long evenings – yes!
Dinner time, watching movies – yes!
But to pull an all-nighter for home work or phone call – no! Not, that I never wanted, it was my brain that would refuse to cooperate, never allowing me to generate sound thoughts, to move my lips for talking or make my eye lids light enough to keep my eyes open. I thought this is who I was, with my body dictating my evening habits and setting the limits. And, honestly, my love to a cozy bed let me gladly accept it.
And then I had a baby.
The limits have been pushed (I mean really far), my abilities have been questioned and doubted, my body has rebelled and never before has my attitude been subject to such a tough test.
‘Night life’ was forced on me.
And I did not expect I would love it.
Almost every night for the minimum of an hour I do not sleep, either because my baby does not sleep or I am so tired that I cannot sleep.
A clock in our bedroom has become my new friend, I constantly need to check: when did she drink the last time, how long is she awake, when did I go to bed, when do we have to get up…
In order to keep some routine I need my clock. It keeps me on track, creates the structure. It reminds me that everything has its time and tough moments will ultimately come to an end. The time passes by and my night life is going to end too.
Meanwhile I embrace it. This is my reality now.
Every night I see the red digits of my clock.
In the darkness I roam around the flat, I play with my daughter.
Sometimes I even have a cup of tea.
When she falls asleep in my arms, with my mobile over her head, I catch up on e-mails and messages, I think, I plan, I pray.
Why do I tell you this mundane story?
Because I thought of you. The clock is just an excuse to tell you this.
If you, for any reasons (let it be sickness, pain, anxiety, baby or anything else) are up at night, know that you are not alone. There are many like us.
What if we seize the darkness and grasp the opportunity of precious minutes or hours and turn them into something good? A good phone call, a good text message, a good letter, a good thought, a good conversation with God. The night and tiredness the next day would not feel wasted. Feeling sleepy would not be so annoying.
In the beginning the ‘companionship’ of my clock was killing me.
I did not want to see the blinking red digits, I wanted to sleep. Anyway, I chose to accept my reality. I was able to look inside me and see that I can do more.
Now is the time when I experience that my body and mind are created to exceed the limits and to overcome myself and that, in between, I can do good.
Welcome to Day 26 of 31 Days of Mundane Narratives! For the month of October I will be a storyteller. Together with a few friends we will browse the forgotten photos in our galleries and tell the stories that are so often lost in busyness.
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