Category: Just Life

Embrace the Now

I am angry.
A feeling of dissatisfaction is my companion these days.
I don’t feel at home in this new place and I hate the fact that there is no time to make it a home.
My eyes have forgotten to capture, my heart has lost its song of gratefulness.
I am caught in between – between the past and the future – and that’s one of the most unsettling places to be.

I am panicked and stressed.
I am not happy with how busy I am these days and how little time there is to actually live, but many days I don’t manage much further than falling into bed with heavy legs at night. I often can’t do much more than to embrace the fact that starting any kind of new job is hard.

I am afraid to move on.
My faith feels stuck these days between not wanting to go back but also without any clue on what comes next. I fear to have nothing left.
I have to embrace the fact that being lost doesn’t last forever. And to trust that those who seek will eventually find.

In the midst of life -in the struggle of mourning the past and awaiting the future – I have to embrace the present. It’s all I’ve got right now and I have the chance to turn it into a past worth remembering.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay

On Tuesday I wrote about transitions and how important it is to translate rhythms from your old home into your new life. This requires some practice and effort. Sometimes it also requires pain, especially when it comes to friends you have to leave behind.

We are really blessed in comparison to what friendships looked like a few decades ago. Facebook, Skype, Email, Letters, Instagram – we have countless ways to stay connected with friends, even if we don’t live in the same place anymore. But are we really more connected?

Every time I moved (and this happened a couple of times) I saw friendships hitting a crossroad. We had to say goodbye, but we also had to figure out how our friendship would look like from now on. Most of the time this happened rather naturally and we never really talked about.
And many times, the first goodbye was also final and I somehow lost touch with some dear people.

This makes me sad very often; I wonder how many friendships even survive the constant moving. Making friends as an adult is incredibly hard and I don’t want to do it over and over again.

In times like these I am immensly grateful for the friendships that do survive. There are some great people in my life who make the effort to stay in touch. Despite the distance and the busy lifestlyes we manage to find ways to share thoughts and lives.

Like A who I used to meet up with in my old home for dinners and movies. She was an expert in finding great films and hidden treasures. We don’t see each other often now, but when you read an email from her, you feel like she’s talking with you.

Like S who I used to visit once a week to see my  precious little godson. Being away from them is definitely hard, but pictures help a little bit. Whenever I have a bad day, P’s smiling face makes it better instantly.

Like T who lives on a different continent and most of our friendship happens online. She still writes messages and hanging out on Skype is a real treat.

Of course, none of these ways beats meeting up in person, but translating the way we live friendships can help bridge the distance a little.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

 

No, You’re Not

Moving to a new city and starting a new job (the first real job ever) is quite an interesting thing. During the week I am incredibly busy preparing lessons and teachings, countless meetings and admin work.
But then there are the weekends or breaks when my schedule is empty and I have some room to breathe. It is in the quiet times when I realize how abandoned I am. Continue reading “No, You’re Not”

A Second Look Changes Everything

It’s been five months since I started my teaching job at the new school.
Five months since I got to know 250 young people who I have the privilege of teaching. Through lessons, tests and talks in between I have gotten to know a tiny part of their personality and now have to make lucky guesses on their performance and chances. Often this seems nearly impossible.

Once in a while, my students surprise me.
I laugh or I cry.
I realize I don’t really know them at all.

Continue reading “A Second Look Changes Everything”

Rest in the Middle of Life

“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly. There’s just too much to do.
Work first, pleasure later.
I can rest when I’m done with everything.”

Do these statements sound familiar to you?
These battles inside of you between what your soul longs for and what your busy mind tells you to do? Continue reading “Rest in the Middle of Life”

The Terrible Difference of Now

Now.
Now we are in the final days before Christmas. Our houses are filled with candle light and the smell of Christmas cookies. We are rushing through the department stores in search of the perfect presents and let’s hope we don’t forget anyone. We spend hours planning the Christmas meal. After a long and busy year we just long for a few quiet days with family, rest and peace.
This is our now. Continue reading “The Terrible Difference of Now”

The Joy of Giving

December 6th is a special day in the German Advent tradition.
In memory of St Nicholas – a kind bishop from the Middle East – we celebrate kindness and surprise people with little gifts. For the children it is sheer joy to put out their little boots at night and find them full of nuts, clementines and candy in the morning.

Continue reading “The Joy of Giving”

Where our Cravings Find a Home

Even though I’m not pregnant, I crave a lot of things.
I crave my warm bed when I’m on my way to work early in the morning.
I crave sparkling water after a workout.
I crave a hot meal at the end of a long day.
Yes, I sometimes crave bacon.

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If we take a closer look at our lives and our souls, we’ll discover cravings inside all of us. We all long for something.

Continue reading “Where our Cravings Find a Home”

When People Surprise You

For those who’ve been around this space for a while know that I am a newbie teacher who just started to experience ‘real work life’.
I work 100% even though it often feels more like 250%. I get up early, make some coffee, go to work, run around school all day from class to class, get home exhausted and prepare for the next day.

Continue reading “When People Surprise You”