I got off at the airport and picked up my rental car.
And then I started driving.
It had been four years since I had driven on the left side and I was surprised how quickly I got back into the rhythm. It was dark, but with a GPS and a sort of sense of direction I found my friends’ cottage I would be staying at for the next few days.
‘Pilgrims Rest’ said the sign on the door.
How appropriate. Continue reading “The Wonderful Exhausting Pilgrimage of Life”
When I travel I dive into the smell and taste of new food. I take in the breathtaking beauty of vast landscapes. I enjoy meeting people and listening to their stories.
When I travel I take a few pictures and collect souvenirs.
Not the objects you’d expect.
I collect stories.
In the midst of people, in a public square, on a bench at the coast – I sit down and write down all these treasures that beg to be told.
I just came back from a vacation. Two weeks in the UK with many great adventures and encounters. So here a few of my ‘treasures’ from London.
//
A street in Aldgate at rush hour with one office building next to another.
Facades of steel and glass designed for people with long hours and large paychecks. In between the skyscrapers you can still detect remnants of the people who used to live here: small brick houses with coal stained chimneys next to modern art temples of money and business. Instead of tiny shops you find exclusive bars and high-class take away restaurants for the people who can’t ‘waste’ time on meals.
Instead of low-class workers you now see men and women in elegant suits hurrying down the streets – coffee in one hand, blackberry in the other. They are no longer walking, they are running as if they can’t get away form this place fast enough. Their expensive costumes are paired with bulky trainers because their feet just can’t take it anymore after a day in high heels.
This is a place for business, strictly business.
This is London.
//
A street in West End at night.
Picadilly Circus is pulsating with cars, with tourists, with life. The streets are heavily trafficked by the all too familiar red Double-decker buses and black cabs. They. Are. Real.
People are invited to get lost in the crowds or spend a lot of money in the many shops within the neo classicist buildings. If you just stop for a moment you can pick up a variety of languages and faces from all over the world. In between the shops you can see the shiny billboards of the many theaters celebrating the arts in countless musicals.
The stories range from murder mysteries to romance to historical dramas. You dive into a world where everything’s shiny, all conversations are put into song, and in the end it will all work out well. Afterwards you walk out into real life again, carrying the stories with you and wishing that sometimes life would have a score to it.
This is a place for dreams.
This is London.
//
The smells of Whitechapel.
You take the Tube to the East End and when you get off the train it feels like you step into a whole different world. Just a few blocks away from the sophisticated business quarters at Aldgate the streets are suddenly crowded with people wearing long beards, turbans, hijabs, or burkas. The mosque is located right next to the Synagogue. Shop signs are in Tamil or Arabic and advertise restaurants which sell pilaw and masala instead of pie.
The area where workers from the nearby dockyards used to live a century ago is now home to people from all over the world, forming an incredible mixture of languages, religions, and cultures. It’s one of the poorest suburbs, but also the one where world travelers might feel most at home.
This is a place for diversity.
This is London.
//
The Mall around Buckingham Palace.
Thousands of people from around the world press their faces against the iron gates to just get a glimpse of the Changing of the Guards. Men in red embroidered coats and large fur hats march up and down to the ‘James Bond’ tune. The ceremony seems like a relict from the past, and yet the monarchy is as present in the British society as ever. The English love their Queen and you can’t help but admire this lady who’s seen and lived through so much and managed to stay true to herself and her values nevertheless. Across St. James’s Park you can see Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. The old buildings have seen great events and heated debates, and they will soon be the place of a historical decision when the British vote on the Brexit. London and its population are crucial to the polls, and Europe is awaiting the results.
This is a place for glamor and decisions.
This is London.
//
The sounds of Covent Garden around noon.
The Piazza that used to be London’s biggest fruit and vegetable market is now filled with many elegant stalls selling everything from imported shawls to handmade jewelry. Instead of groceries you can taste original fish and chips, inhale the rich flavors of tea, or admire the delicate shapes of wooden toys. The surrounding pubs are flocked with business people and groups of friends enjoying a light lunch and a pint. Yes, it’s only noon, but it’s never too early to start drinking Ale.
Covent Garden is the stage for all the artists who haven’t made it to the West End yet. The streets become their entertainment – jugglers, magicians, comedians, and opera singers. If you allow yourself to pause and sit down for a moment you discover something beautiful: a soft melody in the midst of the street noise. A song that makes you wonder like a child. A small glimpse of the extraordinary in the ordinary.
This is a place for celebration.
This is London.
//
Four days in this beautiful, complex, enchanting and intriguing city. I take away sore feet, tanned skin, and a few pictures. There’s still so many places to discover, so many stories to tell. I’ll be back.
It’s just been two weeks since I finished my teacher training, and it still feels unreal most of the time. Am I really done after such a long time of studying and practicing and learning?
Well, the certificate is done. But I guess I am not done learning. In fact I never want to be done.
There is a saying, “if you stop learning you’ll die.”
I don’t want to die.
Instead I want to continue learning.
I want to make myself available for new experiences that might come in unexpected times and places.
I want to keep my eyes open for the beautiful, the broken, the hope that’s so often forgotten.
I want to challenge myself to go outside my comfort zone and test the waters.
I want to let others tell me their story and share more of life together.
I don’t want to die.
Instead I want to continue growing.
I want to dig my roots deep into the ground so that I’m able to soar to new heights.
I want to plant myself in a fruitful community that allows us to help each other grow.
I want to get to know myself and God more and not shy away from the dark unknown corners.
I want to learn to root myself in who I was made to be and not who others want me to be.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
You know what the worst part of transition is?
That one moment when you realize it’s actually gone.
You have left and cannot return.
You have lost something or someone and you’ll never get them back.
The moment when the missing sets in and it hurts so badly.
I miss a lot of things and people.
I miss the relaxed time table of student life.
I miss the many friends in the many places I’ve lived in.
I miss the smell of certain places.
I miss the opportunities I didn’t take advantage of and which might have led to greatness.
I miss my childlike faith which seems so far away from me at the moment.
Missing is not a good place to be stuck in and we shouldn’t dwell on everything we don’t have all the time because it makes us blind for the wonders around us.
And yet we need to miss things and people.
Acknowledging that we miss them is the first important step in the grieving process. Allowing the motions to sweep our feet away until peace and gratitude settle in our hearts.
It’s okay to miss people, places, things, life stages, emotions.
Because I’d rather feel this than nothing at all.
What are the things and people you miss?
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
I walked out of the building and just stood there.
This was not happening.
This could not be real.
Just a few minutes ago the examiner had said, “Congratulations, you have passed.”
You see, this “Congratulations” was the last one to a long series of practical and oral exams as part of my teacher training.
And now it is over.
I am a teacher now.
Time to grow up and be a ‘real’ adult.
I can’t really describe how I feel.
I am still dizzy from excitement and a bit giddy that everything went to well.
I am still doubting that this really happened and it’s really over.
And yes (you know me), I am a bit nostalgic.
And era in my life comes to an end. Two decades of learning and training and education. From now on I get to teach and to train and to educate.
This is exciting, but immensely scary at the same time.
Life is full of transitions and changes, and you know what, that’s good.
Time passes by so quickly, and if we’re not careful, it passes us by.
So let’s enjoy now because you can never get it back.
Live in the moment.
Take in the beauty of today.
Spend time with the people around you.
Be thankful for the time that has passed by, for all the goodness you have seen, for all the grace you have received.
For all the treasures you’re able to pass on to the next day or person.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
Life lessons are all around us.
I often have an epiphany when I spend time with my godson P. He’s about a year now and doesn’t want to sit still anymore. No matter where he is, he’ll look out for some object or wall to pull himself up. This is not an easy thing to master, and very often he’ll make it halfway only to fall back down.
This is an activity P can do a million times over.
Pull himself up, fall back down. And repeat.
He doesn’t care about all these times he didn’t manage, he cares about the next time.
That one time he’ll find something steady to hold on to and eventually make it onto his feet.
He’s got this irrepressible will to live, to move, and to explore.
When exactly does it happen that pessimism settles in to our hearts?
Is it part of growing up that we sometimes stop fighting and investing and wanting?
When exactly does the will to persevere and explore and live leave our soul?
Yes, life kicks in and its everyday challenges certainly are not easy.
But I still hope to be a bit more like P some days.
Like a person who is driven enough by life to never stop wanting.
Whose passion is greater than the obstacles.
Who doesn’t care about all the times she’s missed a goal or failed at something, but uses these experiences to grow stronger and move forward.
Who doesn’t stop searching until she’s found that one thing that holds her steady and safe.
There’s a life out there, waiting to be explored.
It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth exploring.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
Last week we talked about decisions and how hard it is to make them.
Especially when they seem to alter our entire being, lifestyle, and faith.
But do they really?
I guess we often make our lives more complicated by listening to all these voices telling us that this next decision is it. This next step will change everything.
But does it really?
If you miss this bus, your entire day will be messed up.
If you wear the wrong color today, everyone’s going to stare at you.
If you take this job, you’ll miss out on so many other things.
If you’re not married by 28, you’ll die as an unhappy spinster.
If you don’t pray in the morning, your day will go by without any blessings.
It seems as if our whole world depended on this one tiny decision.
But does it really?
The world is messed up, I agree.
Look at the heart-wrenching news as soon as you go online or switch on the TV. The suffering doesn’t ever seem to stop.
So many broken relationships, so much desperation around me.
So many unanswered questions and uncertain futures.
As the world screams for decisions louder and louder, I can often just fall silent.
And then I hear that soft tune in my head. A kiddy song from my childhood.
He’s got the whole world in his hands.
What a staggering answer to all the decisions out there!
Of course, I still have to make them. Of course, not everything will fall into place. And not everything will go my way for sure.
And yet, these hands change everything.
No matter what I have for breakfast today, no matter if I miss this bus, no matter where I’ll work in the future, no matter how dark the news of the world are: He’s got the whole world – my world – in His hands. And I want to believe that nothing goes by unnoticed, uncared for, unloved by the Father.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
Sometimes I don’t enjoy being an adult.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go back to the crazy teenage years either, but sometimes I wish I was a child again. I would live at home, enjoy my mom’s cooking and go to school.
Most of all, I wouldn’t have to make decisions.
I feel like these days my life is full of decisions.
What do you want to study?
What kind of insurances do you want?
What kind of job are you looking for?
Where do you want to live in the next five years?
Don’t you want to get married?
What should I wear today?
What should I cook for dinner tonight?
Too many questions and decisions to be made. I guess you can add many more to the list. And I am overwhelmed and exhausted.
Decisions make me worry sometimes because it’s not always right or wrong.
There are too many choices out there, and what if I make the wrong decision?
You think too much, girl.
Yes, there are decisions to be made because I am an adult now, I guess this comes with the territory.
I can’t foresee the future.
I can’t go back to being that little girl, the past is gone.
What I can do, though, is learn a little bit from that girl I used to be.
Stop worrying once in a while and just be.
Be here in this day.
Take in the beauty of today and enjoy the little things.
Today I decide I want to be.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
I’m a bit surprised.
And angry.
And disillusioned.
This week has been hard.
A lot of questions and doubts and struggles.
A lot of tears and hopes and fears.
So many question marks about the future.
So many unfulfilled desires.
And so little assurance and certainty of everything.
In my walk of life with its ups and downs I thought I had learned a bit.
I thought I had developed a bit of confidence in myself, in others, in You.
I thought I had learned enough truth which would now get me through the storm.
I thought I had become at least a little bit more mature in wisdom, life, and faith.
As I lie here in my restless state of mind and heart I realize that I am not surprised.
I am sobered.
In all the living and growing and struggling I still need You.
In all the knowing and learning I still need to trust You.
In all the wandering and moving I still need to find my home in You.
In all the worrying and questioning and doubting I just hope that You’ll be there every step of the way.
Writing for Five Minute Friday today. Have you heard? There will be a book compilation with the best pieces from the community. Check out the details at Kate’s page!
It sounded so familiar.
“I am overwhelmed by everything, there is so much to do and I am so exhausted.”
” I feel like I am not good at anything anymore. Teaching is really hard and I am not sure I can do it.”
” Is it ever going to get better?”
Honest words from friends who just started teaching. They are full of exhaustion, questions, despair.
They could’ve easily been a replay of my own mind and heart just a few short months ago when I felt the exact same.
I was lost in the sea of new experiences and tasks.
I was overwhelmed by the challenges a new job brings.
I was exhausted by the new schedules that were so far from my own rhythms.
I was anxious that this would never end and I wouldn’t ever feel okay again until I retired.
Most of us have been in the situation of starting a new job. No matter if you’re a teacher or a doctor or an accountant – it’s a major step in your life and doesn’t go by without any side effects.
We struggle with new schedules and tasks. We get to know a lot of new things and people. We worry how our future will look like.
A year later I have to say that it does in fact get better.
It’s different now.
The journey from there to here wasn’t easy and took a lot of growing up.
Often, growth just takes a bit of time. But as I look back I sometimes wish that someone had come alongside me and told me a few things. Not to make everything easy, but to help me understand what was happening.
Starting a Job Is a Big Deal
When you get engaged, people congratulate you. But they also give you advice: “This is a big deal, you should take a preparation course. There’s books and premarital counseling.”
When you announce you’re pregnant, people congratulate you. But they also dish out well-meant advice and tips: “A kid will change your life forever, you should take a course. There’s books and classes.”
Life is marked by changes and transitions. Marriage or children remind us that we cannot just be the same, that we actually need to evolve and grow. That we sometimes need to lose ourselves when we’re pulled up and replanted into a completely new environment. That we need to rediscover ourselves once in a while and add new features to the old self.
Changes in life mold and strengthen us.
And it’s good to know about it and prepare for it because these changes certainly don’t come without a good deal of pain and questions and hardships.
Well, what about when you start your first job ever? When you leave behind the flexible schedule of university and submit to a routine you can’t alter? When you become independent from your parents’ or state support and need to take care of bills, insurance etc.? When you’re under pressure to do a job well because your next paycheck depends on it?
Starting a job is a big change as well. No, you don’t have a new partner. No, there’s no child waiting for your attention. But you still cannot remain the same. So yes, it’s a big deal and you should expect challenges during the transition.
Get to Know the New ‘Culture’
I have lived in several countries and interacted with different cultures. What actually happens during such a transition?
Moving to a different country is definitely exciting as you get to experience different climate, food, languages and people. This is the ‘honeymoon phase’ when everything’s new and exciting. Take it all in and enjoy.
There’s no fixed time, but after a while the novelty wears off and you get a peek into real life in a new culture. Things begin to annoy you, people are suddenly unnerving, and you start to miss things from home. This is the ‘depression phase’ when you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore. You’ve been pulled up from your familiar place and replanted into completely new soil. Instead of excitement there’s anger and doubt and fear. All you want to do is leave.
But as you fight and struggle through the strangeness of this new life you begin to realize that you are still the same. That you can actually survive in this new environment. That people are okay and can teach you something. That it’s worthwhile to incorporate new elements into your culture. This is the ‘resettlement phase’ when all the hardships have paid off and actually led to growth in a new place.
Entering the working world is like entering a new culture. You’re still in the same country, you still speak the same language. Yet, you’re completely lost in this new environment. You have no idea how to be and behave in this new culture, the work culture. So don’t underestimate this process and rather treat it as a cultural transition. This discovery alone moved worlds for me last year because it made the following process much easier.
Take Your Time
When you move into a different culture you wouldn’t expect to be all settled in within a few weeks. Why would you expect that you could adjust to a completely new lifestyle that fast? 
Take your time to get to know the new culture and how you’re supposed to act in it. Observe how people interact and deal with things. Pay attention to the little tricks here and there that might make a big difference. Don’t judge but be willing to learn something new. Open yourself up to new people and experiences.
Allow your emotions to run high and admit that things just suck sometimes.
Permit yourself to feel lost and to make mistakes at first. No one is perfect from the start.
Take things step by step. Celebrate the little victories and move on to bigger things.
Focus on tomorrow, not next week.
Seek Help
Thousands of people have made the transition into work before, they just sometimes forget to tell us about it. Things have become so natural for them that they don’t remember how hard it was at first.
Asking for help is no sign of weakness. Often it takes just one brave person who’s willing to share how things really look like that helps others to share as well. We’re stronger together, so don’t try to keep up a straight face when all you feel is lost.
Seek the company of people who are in similar situations because they’re the only ones who know how you truly feel. Friends where you don’t have to explain or justify a whole lot.
But don’t stop there. Spend time with people outside your ‘job bubble’ to get your mind off things. Don’t allow your mind to be stuck in the ever-running/condemning spiral of ‘I still have so much work to do.’
Fight for Rest
Settling into a new culture is exhausting in every aspect. I never imagined that I would be physically tired from meeting so many new people. Similarly to babies who are worn out by getting to know the world, it takes a lot of mental and physical energy to learn new names and strategies. Our body has to adjust to new sleeping/working/eating patterns and this takes its toll.
So don’t expect that you can just continue like before. Allow your body time to adjust and give it the rest it needs.
Sleep well and enough.
Eat well.
Plan your time well, so that you actually have time to rest after all the work.
Schedule in time slots when it’s all about rest. This can be very active. Find an activity that takes your mind off work and refocuses you on the really important things in life.
This really is a fight, but if you lose it or put it off (‘I can rest later’) you’ll eventually be too burned out to do anything at all.
Focus on the Truth
There will always be people who are better at their job. There will always be colleagues who are ahead of you. There will always be others who seem to have the right to look down on you and judge you.
Yes, being a newbie does mean baby steps again.
Yes, you do make mistakes at the beginning.
Yes, there is a lot to learn.
Yes, you’ll fall down and fail.
But you are not a failure. Not.a.failure.
There are things about you that no job you do or don’t do could ever change. Don’t allow anyone to take that away from you. Don’t compare yourself to others, this won’t get you anywhere but despair.
Starting a new job is part of life and eventually we all have to take that step. There’s no recipe to make it all easier, but knowing about the transition might make it a little smoother.
What were your first steps in the working world like? How did you cope with the transition? What would you add to help newbies with the transition?
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