grow up

We Cannot Heal All Wounds

Do you remember the times as a child when you fell down and hurt your knee? You would run to your mother, she would put a funny looking plaster strip on it and she would sing.
The pain was gone instantly and all that remained was that deep sense of peace.
It would all be okay. Continue reading “We Cannot Heal All Wounds”

Of Losing and Finding

In the last few years I had to deal with loss quite a bit.
I saw friends losing loved ones, and having nothing but pain leaves you speechless.
I lost relationships I thought I could count on, leaving me disappointed and disillusioned.
I moved and traveled to places, leaving me with a deafening feeling of not belonging anywhere.
I transitioned from university into work life and never imagined this change would impact me so much.
I am losing, or rather rediscovering, my faith and sometimes I feel like walking alone on a wide open sea. Continue reading “Of Losing and Finding”

It’s Not Always Right or Wrong

Sometimes I don’t enjoy being an adult.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go back to the crazy teenage years either, but sometimes I wish I was a child again. I would live at home, enjoy my mom’s cooking and go to school.

Most of all, I wouldn’t have to make decisions.

I feel like these days my life is full of decisions.
What do you want to study?
What kind of insurances do you want?
What kind of job are you looking for?
Where do you want to live in the next five years?
Don’t you want to get married?
What should I wear today?
What should I cook for dinner tonight?

Too many questions and decisions to be made. I guess you can add many more to the list. And I am overwhelmed and exhausted.
Decisions make me worry sometimes because it’s not always right or wrong.
There are too many choices out there, and what if I make the wrong decision?
You think too much, girl.

Yes, there are decisions to be made because I am an adult now, I guess this comes with the territory.
I can’t foresee the future.
I can’t go back to being that little girl, the past is gone.
What I can do, though, is learn a little bit from that girl I used to be.

Stop worrying once in a while and just be.
Be here in this day.
Take in the beauty of today and enjoy the little things.
Today I decide I want to be.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

[Five Minute Friday] Share

The last year hasn’t been easy for me.
I transitioned into work life and had a lot of growing up to do. There were a lot of firsts and I had a lot to learn.

There were a lot of highs.

Like when a class went really well and I actually had fun with my students.
Like when planning becomes easier and inspiration comes when you need it the most.
Like when students and colleagues are no longer strangers.
Like when I discovered that I am still myself despite all the changes.

Of course, there were also a lot of lows.
Like the pile of work that never seems to end.
Like the looming deadlines that weigh so heavy on my shoulders.
Like the few hours of sleep and the tired legs – a constant reminder how exhausted I am.
Like the expectations others and myself have.
Like the worry that I won’t pass exams and won’t get a job afterwards.
Like the fear of what comes next.

Life is a cycle of ups and downs, highs and lows.
On this journey we are not alone.
In all the craziness I am beyond grateful to have traveling companions.
People who are in the same situation and know what I truly mean when I say I’m stressed.
People who can chip in their advice because they’ve got amazing expertise and turn my twisted thoughts into something logical.
People who cheer me on and understand when not everything goes my way.

They don’t solve my problems.
They just can’t.
But they are willing to share a piece of my life, my thoughts, my heart.
They are just there.
They remind me that this is not the end.
That there is more.
That there is someone who is always there, always ready to share in all of our joys and sorrows.

Who are your traveling companions?
May you have people who journey with you.
Who don’t make everything better, but who are willing to share a bit of your life and point you to the things that really matter.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.