TCKs and the Mirror of Erised

When I was a teenager I read the Harry Potter series and I am currently listening to the audio books as a nice distraction from studying for my finals. 🙂

In the first book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” the young boy Harry is given the news that he’s a wizard. 

His life changes within seconds: he is not just the forgotten orphan who never met his parents; he is now part of a new family at the Hogwarts school, with real friends and an adventurous lifestyle.

And then there’s this one scene in which Harry wanders the dark corridors of the castle one night and discovers the Mirror of Erised. 

Harry looks in the mirror and he’s suddenly surrounded by his mother and father – the people he never really met and misses the most. 
It’s such a sweet description of this eleven year old boy relishing a moment with his family and finally a sense of belonging. 
But when he shows his best friend Ron and he looks in the mirror he doesn’t see any of this. Instead, he sees himself as head of Griffindor house and Quidditch captain. He finally feels special since he normally has to fight for attention as one of five boys in a big family.

The Mirror of Erised is not an ordinary mirror. 

It doesn’t show you what is. 
It reveals your deepest desires, no matter how deep they might be hidden in your heart.
Yet, as soon as you take a step back the illusion is gone and you’re face to face with reality again.


Harry just can’t stop looking in that mirror. Night after night he goes back to see himself and relive the idea of a perfect family. But in the third night Dumbledore, the headmaster, finds Harry and tells him that “this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth.” Eventually, Harry will have to take that step back into reality.


I feel like Harry sometimes. 

I am still surprised how much this relates to what many TCKs feel like. 
There’s this deep desire within us to belong. 
To be understood. 
To be ourselves without explanation or excuse. 
Sometimes the ache for people and places we had to leave behind is physically painful. 
All we want to do is to jump on a plane, fly to one of the places we call home, meet familiar faces, and feel that everything’s going to be fine. 
We can spend hours looking at pictures of what used to be. 
We harbor that warm feeling spending time in the past gives us. 
Skype calls with friends half across the globe better never end. 
Night after night we could go back and look into our Mirror of Erised.

But we can’t stay there forever. 

We, too, need a Dumbledore calling us back and guiding us through the reality of the present. We sometimes need this gentle reminder that our past façades don’t offer us anything. 
There’s no knowledge of truth in them. And unfortunately not much comfort either. 
They only increase the desire because whenever we put down our photographs, shut off our computer, or leave our houses we are still here. 
In the present, in reality.
What a disillusionment to let go. All enchantment’s gone within seconds.


But the reality we’re left with is not just bleak and empty. 

It is full of opportunities we’re supposed to seize. The gifts of the past we had the privilege to enjoy were not given to us in vain; they made us fit to take up the challenges of the present and turn them into an even better future. 
The things we endure and accomplish, the people we invest in today are the very memories we will dwell on tomorrow.

So let’s do it together. 

Let’s take a step back from the mirror. 
Let’s choose to face reality and the challenges it puts before us today. 
Let’s be grateful for our past, give into desires from time to time, and be even more excited for the future.

Als Teenager habe ich die Harry Potter Reihe gelesen und gerade höre ich die Hörbucher, das ist eine schöne Abwechslung nach einem langen Lerntag…:)

Im ersten Buch “Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisen” erhält der junge Harry die Nachricht, dass er ein Zauberer ist. Sein Leben ändert sich in Sekundenschnelle: er ist nicht mehr nur der vergessene Waisenjunge, der seine Eltern nie kennengelernt hat; er ist jetzt Teil einer neuen Familie in Hogwarts mit echten Freunden und einem abenteuerlichen Leben.
Und dann gibt es diese eine Szene, in der Harry eines Nachts die langen dunklen Korridore entlangläuft und den Spiegel von Erised entdeckt. Harry schaut in den Spiegel und ist plötzlich von seinen Eltern umgeben – den Leuten, die er nie kennengelernt hat und am meisten vermisst. Eine wirklich schöne Beschreibung, wie dieser elfjährige Junge einen Moment mit seiner Familie genießt, endlich fühlt er sich zuhause.
Aber wenn er den Spiegel seinem Freund Ron zeigt und der hineinsieht, sieht er nichts davon. Stattdessen sieht er sich selbst als Anführer von Griffindor und Quidditch Kapitän. Endlich fühlt er sich besonders, da er sonst immer um Aufmerksamkeit kämpfen muss als einer von fünf Jungs in einer Großfamilie.

Der Spiegel von Erised ist kein gewöhnlicher Spiegel. Er zeigt dir nicht, was ist. Er enthüllt deine tiefsten Sehnsüchte, egal wie tief sie in deinem Herzen vergraben sind. Aber sobald du einen Schritt zurückgehst, ist die Illusion weg und du stehst wieder der Realität gegenüber.

Harry kann aber nicht aufhören, in den Spiegel zu blicken. Nacht fĂĽr Nacht kehrt er zurĂĽck, um sich selbst zu sehen und die Idee einer perfekten Familie wiederzuerleben. In der dritten Nacht kommt Dumbledore, der Schulleiter, vorbei und sagt Harry, dass “dieser Spiegel uns weder Wissen noch Wahrheit gibt.” Harry muss also irgendwann den Schritt zurĂĽck in die Realität machen. 

Ich fühle mich manchmal wie Harry. Und ich wunder mich immer noch, wie sehr das mit dem zu tun hat, wie es vielen TCKs oft geht. 

In uns ist diese Sehnsucht, dazu zu gehören.
Verstanden zu werden.
Wir selbst zu sein ohne Erklärung oder Ausrede.
Manchmal können wir den Schmerz förmlich spüren, da wir Leute so sehr vermissen, die wir zurücklassen mussten. Wir wollen einfach nur in ein Flugzeug steigen und an einen der Orte fliegen, die wir Zuhause nennen, bekannte Gesichter sehen und das Gefühl haben, dass alles gut werden wird.
Wir könnten Stunden damit verbringen, Bilder anzuschauen von Dingen, wie sie einmal waren. Wir bewahren dieses warme Gefühl in uns, das die Vergangenheit uns gibt. Und Skype Anrufe mit Freunden am andern Ende der Welt sollten am Besten nie aufhören. Nacht für Nacht kehren wir zurück und schauen in unseren Spiegel von Erised.

Aber wir können nicht für immer dort bleiben.

Wir brauchen auch einen Dumbledore, der uns zurückruft und in die Realität der Gegenwart führt. Wir brauchen manchmal diese sanfte Erinnerung, dass die Fassaden der Vergangenheit nichts für uns zu bieten haben, es ist kein Wissen oder Wahrheit in ihnen. Und leider auch nicht wirklich viel Trost. Sie verstärken eigentlich nur die Sehnsucht, denn wenn immer wir unsere Fotos weglegen, unseren Computer ausmachen oder unser Haus verlassen, sind wir immer noch hier.
In der Gegenwart, in der Realität. Es ist schwer, loszulassen. Aller Zauber ist innerhalb von Sekunden einfach verschwunden.

Aber die Gegenwart, die uns bleibt, ist nicht einfach nur leer. Sie ist voller Möglichkeiten, die wir ergreifen sollen. Die Geschenke der Vergangenheit, die wie erleben durften, wurden uns nicht umsonst gegeben; sie haben uns bereit gemacht, um die Herausforderungen der Gegenwart anzugehen und sie in eine bessere Zukunft zu verwandeln. 

Die Dinge, die wir aushalten und meistern, die Leute, in die wir heute investieren – das sind die Erinnerungen, die wir morgen in Ehren halten. 
Also lass es uns zusammen tun. Lass uns einen Schritt zurück treten, weg vom Spiegel. 
Lass uns bewusst die Realität sehen und die Herausforderungen, die sie uns heute stellt. Lass uns dankbar sein für unsere Vergangenheit, manchmal der Sehnsucht nachgeben, und noch gespannter auf die Zukunft sein. 

With quiet, soft steps…./Mit leisen Schritten…

Isn’t life ironic sometimes?
Just two days ago I posted about this feeling that’s been creeping up in me over the last few weeks. Things around me are coming to an end, passing by my eyes, and I can just look after them and whisper a quiet ‘Goodbye’.
And now, Lisa-Jo Baker talks about finishing well in the Five Minute Friday prompt – spot on. So I  post my thoughts again and hope you’ll join the conversation!
photo credit: Nathan Martin

With quiet, soft steps a part of my life says goodbye, and I am too busy to mourn it.
This week was full of ‘lasts’. 
The last paper, the last office hour with a professor, the last seminar.
A few weeks ago already was the last presentation, but I only realized it afterwards. 

It’s a lot of small steps, but they make a big difference, and I become aware of it only bit by bit. 
It’s the end of five years at uni. 
Five years of studying, of thinking and diving into complexities.
Five years of lights going on when I got something.
Five years of crazy study groups and wonderful people.

What I find most interesting or sad about it is not necessarily that it’s over, but that I don’t have time to say goodbye. Too many appointments, deadlines, and thoughts in my head keep me from saying TschĂĽss properly. 

But it is so important to not just go from one thing to the next. Don’t mourn nostalgically and never let go, but look back on everything you accomplished with pride. Enjoy and be grateful. 
Every step into something new is a bit easier if you finished the step before that well.  

I have written about this topic before, and I feel it will be part of my thoughts for a while. Things become a little easier with a RAFT. 
Life will always be full of ‘lasts’ and new beginnings. 
A life without movement is impossible – and honestly, who would want that? 
Without movement we are stuck, get rusty, die a little. 
But we can make transitions easier by making them consciously. 

You have to close doors behind you sometimes to know which open ones you can go through next.

How do you make transitions in your life? If you already graduated, how did you celebrate/experience/miss the end of your studies?


Mit leisen Schritten verabschiedet sich ein Lebensabschnitt und ich bin zu beschäftigt, ihm hinterher zu trauern.
Diese Woche war voll mit letzten Dingen. 

Die letzte Hausarbeit, die letzte Sprechstunde beim Dozenten, das letzte Seminar. 
Vor einigen Wochen schon war das letzte Referat, mir ist es aber erst danach aufgefallen.
Es sind viele kleine Schritte, aber sie machen doch einen großen Unterschied, der mir erst nach und nach bewusst wird. 
Es ist das Ende von fünf Jahren Uni. 
FĂĽnf Jahre voller lernen und sich in Dinge reindenken.
Fünf Jahre Aha Erlebnisse haben. 
FĂĽnf Jahre mit verrĂĽckten Lerngruppen und tollen Menschen.
Was ich an dem Ganzen interessant oder traurig finde ist nicht unbedingt, dass es zu Ende geht, sondern dass ich keine Zeit habe, Abschied zu nehmen. 
Viel zu viele Termine, deadlines und Gedanken im Kopf um bewusst ciao zu sagen.
Dabei ist es so wichtig, nicht einfach von einem zum nächsten zu gehen. 
Nicht wehmütig hinterher zu trauern und nicht loslassen, sondern mit Stolz auf das zurückblicken, was man geschafft hat. 
Sich freuen und dankbar sein. 
Jeder Schritt in etwas neues ist einfacher, wenn man den Schritt davor gut beendet hat.
Über dieses Thema habe ich schon öfter geschrieben und ich glaube, es wird mich noch ein bisschen länger beschäftigen. Mit einem RAFT geht so manches leichter. 

Das Leben wird immer wieder letzte Dinge und Neuanfänge haben. Ein Leben ohne Bewegung gibt es nicht – und ganz ehrlich, wer will das auch? Ohne Bewegung bleibt man stehn, rostet ein, stirbt. Aber man kann die Ăśbergänge leichter machen, indem man sie bewusst macht. 

Man muss manchmal Türen hinter sich zumachen, um zu wissen, durch welche offenen man als nächstes gehen soll. 

Wie gestaltet du Übergänge in deinem Leben? Wie hast du das Ende deines Studiums erlebt/ gefeiert/verpasst?

[Five Minute Friday] Release

My life is crazy busy, every friend trying to meet up with me or trying to contact me knows that (and I am terribly sorry about that!).
But often my mind seems even crazier.
Too many things going on at the same time.
Too many impressions waiting to be processed.
Too many questions wanting to be answered.
Too many stories to tell.

Sometimes I just want it all to stop. To just press pause, process, and then move on.

I need to release some of the thoughts and processes bottled up within me, otherwise I explode.
So I write.

Thoughts come to my mind, frames are filled up with images.
Loose ideas turn into phrases, sentences.
My hands pick up these ideas and translate them onto this virtual piece of paper.
Now they are out there, my thoughts, ideas, fears, and dreams.
And I feel a little more structured and at peace.

But why do I click “publish”? Why do I allow people from all across the world to read my mind?
See a little bit of myself even though they don’t even know me?

Sometimes you have to release a bird to see if it can fly.
You have to release an idea, a thought, a dream, or even something you’re struggling with.
Because sometimes, it comes back to you. In the form of a comment, an email, a personal meet-up. There is people out there who had similar ideas, struggled with the same thoughts, or didn’t dare to voice their fears.
Releasing a piece of my mind, of my story, helped them to release a piece of their soul.

“You never know the true value your story carries until you see it in the eyes of someone else who really needed to hear that story” (borrowed from my very gifted friend Tyler).

So go, release a piece of your mind.
And wait for the piece that will come back to you.

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Releasing a bit of my story today on Five Minute Friday by Lisa-Jo Baker! One word, five minutes of writing, no editing. And sharing with a wonderful community of fellow writers.

[Five Minute Friday] Hands

I’ve been given miracle workers.

They dig deep and work great things.
They carry heavy things and move other things around.
They are formed precisely to hold tiny objects like needles to sew, or open the knots in my shoe laces.

They run smoothly over raw material and create.
They hold a pen and write.
They dance over piano keys and compose.
They touch someone in need and offer comfort.
They hug a long-lost friend and express what some words could not do.

They are held closely together as I pray to the One who is in perfect control.
They are lifted up high to praise the creator of all things, the savior, and the restorer of piece.
They reach out to HIM, the ultimate miracle maker.

My hands are miracle workers.
Every single finger was made for a purpose, and only together my hands can do what they were created to do.
They were tiny when I was young, they might be dirty at times now, and they probably will be wrinkly as I get older.
No matter what, they are miracle workers.
Where can I put them to work today?

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I use my miracle workers of hands to write my thoughts and link up with a community over at Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. See you there?

[Five Minute Friday] Mess

Imagine a glass or a porcelain cup.
Beautiful shape, maybe some carvings on the outside.
Smooth surface and precious material.
It’s really great to touch or use.

But something is missing.
There is no light in this cup.

If you’d put a candle in the glass you wouldn’t see much through the perfectly firm surface. No matter how beautiful the outside looks, it doesn’t reflect the inside.

Imagine this glass or cup falling off the table.
Shattering into thousands of little pieces.
Beauty spread across the floor, into corners, turned into dust.

But do you see the hand that gathers the pieces?
The eyes that carefully search for even the last piece, no matter how far it has fallen?
Do you feel the touch of the master who gently puts the pieces back together?

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Look at the glass now.
Imagine the cup being pieced together again.
Its smooth surface is gone, its material looks roughened.
Its original beauty has been replaced by magnificent splendor, coming from the inside.
The light that has been kept inside for so long is now reflected and magnified through the cracks and bruises.

Through the hands of the master a mess can become a canvas to reflect something greater inside.
Do we allow the master to use OUR mess as a canvas to reflect HIS beauty?

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One word. Five minutes of writing. No editing. Sharing with a community of lovely writing fellows. That’s Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker!

[Five Minute Friday] Friend

This week’s prompt comes in handy, since I’ve been meaning to write on this anyway.
This post goes out to the wonderful people who have been such a blessing to me in the last few months!  I hope that everyone has such friends or can be one to someone else.

The last few weeks, well actually months, have just been crazy.
Caught between writing my MA thesis, preparing for state board exams, organizing a Europe-wide youth congress, trying to keep up with my different lives all across the globe…life has just been a bit too much.

In times like these you find yourself asking the really tough questions.
You find yourself all alone and wonder if you have any friends at all. After years and years of pouring into and giving to friends – where are these people now? When you’re tired of giving, is there someone who gives to you?

I was between feelings of rage and anger towards friends who probably had no idea how I felt. I wanted people to show up and tell me they care. Tell me that they didn’t expect anything from me except ME.
But then again, I also just wanted to be alone since I didn’t want to burden anyone with my messy self. I felt too embarassed to let anyone into my apartment that looked like a construction site.

These last few week, well actually months, have taught me quite a bit about friends.
I had to let go of some old ties and expectations people would never fulfill.
Don’t chase the appreciation of the wrong people, while you might miss out on all the wonderful people along the way.

Cherish those precious little moments where a friend comes through for you.
When you’re allowed to speak your mind, without any make-up on, in your worst clothes (because you have no energy to do laundry).
When a friend is honest with you and tells you to seriously slow down. To escape from mind traps you’ve set for yourself about having to be busy 24-7.
When a friend doesn’t mind the chaos in your appartment, but comes over for dinner and a massage. When other friends cook for you and distract you with a night of laughter.
When someone doesn’t mind you tears of desperation, but simply comforts you with a hug.
When you can unite in prayers via skype and find comfort in the common bond in Christ, no matter how many miles might separate you.

Hey friend, thank you. Thanks for being you and for allowing me to be me.

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After a short Easter break, I am back on Five Minute Friday – go to Lisa-Jo Baker‘s page to read more encouraging stories!

Guest Blog at Communicating Across Boundaries

Today I am guest blogging over at Communicating Across Boundaries, a wonderful blog about the challenges and blessings of living between cultures, people, faiths…
The current series is called “Finding your niche”- how can TCKs use their experiences in their jobs, relationships etc.? Plenty of great people from all over the world in all kinds of wonderful positions have already contributed, and I am honored to be a part of it!

Read more here!

#She Shares Truth- Joshua 1:8&9

Today I am linking up with #She Reads Truth, a community of women reading the bible together. During Lent we medidate on passages and then share our thoughts on them. You can find more thoughts on the project of #She Shares Truth.  
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“This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success. 
Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

These powerful verses can be found at the beginning of the book of Joshua. Moses, the great leader of the Israelites through forty years of wandering in the desert, had just died, and now Joshua is the leader.  And just as God had spoken to Moses many years ago to annoint, challenge and encourage him – the same way does God now speak to Joshua. He reminds Joshua of the many times Moses could experience godly provision and divine intervention; whatever promises was true then is true now. 

And God gives him a very simple instruction that will lead to success: medidate on the word of God. Stay with the book of the law. Joshua, the leader who was expected to speak up and guide his people, is now called to meditate in silence. To think things over, to observe and reflect rather than to speak.

Meditating is a piece of work. 
It is so much easier to speak and share and come up with premature conclusions. Oh, there is a time for sharing. There will be a time when we need to speak up and share.
But before that time goes, there is time to medidate.
To observe. To let it sink in.

Joyce Huggett has put it very well when she says that meditation means “to give God’s words the opportunity to penetrate, not just our minds, but our emotions — the places where we hurt — and our will — the place where we make choices and decisions.”

This is not easy. This is a decision we need to make every day.
Do we take some time to spend with the word?
To not just fulfill our duty, but to let it sink in?
Do we let the word of God penetrate the very core of our being? 

Meditation is not in vain. 
I love how God puts a promise for Joshua right after the challenge he has for him. Meditation and observation will lead to wise decisions and success. I am not saying our lives will be problem-free all the time, but having a solid foundation and guideline in the word of God will make many things in life more bearable, enjoyable and purposeful. 

Not all of us might be Joshuas. Not all of us are given the task of conquering an unknown country.
But all of us are called to step up at some point. To take a stand during the day or at some point in our lives. But before we do that we should work below the surface to become “strong, vigorous and VERY courageous” (I love that VERY in verse 9 J).
And we can be sure that just as God promised to be with Joshua on this next part of the journey, he will go with us and will make our foundation we acquired in these quiet moments of meditation prosper. 

[Five Minute Friday] Joy

I am linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker today on Five Minute Friday. Take the prompt, write for five minutes flat. Link up with a community of fellow writers and experience the joy of sharing!
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Today’s prompt JOY is one of my favorite words.
In this case I like the English language because it offers a variety of meanings for this sentiment.
Unlike German (where you only have one word ‘Freude’) in English you have joy and happiness.

And there’s a difference between these two, I believe.

Happiness might refer to this superficial excitement over fresh flowers, a present, or a quick smile for a friend. But as quickly as it comes over us it can also be gone. As quickly as our circumstances can bring happiness, they can also bring unhappiness. Bad weather, a sad phone call, disappointment.

Happiness often seems to be based on what happens.

Joy, on the other hand, goes much deeper.
It is independent from what happens around us.
It is planted deep inside of us, bringing forth light in the darkest hours, strength in weakness and rejoicing in the midst of tears.

Joy is a fruit of the holy spirit, planted inside of us and growing the more we take care of it.
When it is firmly rooted in our hearts no circumstances in the world can steal our joy.

The question is: What are we going for?
Do we strive for quick happiness, these superficial waves that  come and go as quickly as we draw a breath?
Or do we take some time to seek joy, nurture it and experience its fruits especially in times when we need it the most?

[Five Minute Friday] Choose

Some people say we have no choices in life.
Everything is predestined and we just need to surrender to fate.
Some people say we have too many choices, they are overwhelmed by freedom and simply lost the ability to make choices.

I believe we have a lot of choices.
We can decide what we want to wear today.
Whether it’s toast or cereal for breakfast.
We can even decide not to get out of bed all day.
We can choose what career path to follow, who to marry, where to live.

Those are choices on the surface.
They might be most visible to the outside, but do they make up life?
I believe there are choices we need to make deep down, and they will navigate us on the stormy sea of life.

Everyday we hear a million voices, telling us about the world and ourselves.
Countless people seem to know who we are and what we need. The more we listen to one voice the more this truth becomes our own.
But is it who we really are?
It is so easy for lies to take roots in our searching souls, and it is so difficult to pull them out once they’re settled. Nevertheless, for every lie in your heart God has more than one powerful truth for you.
Choose truth. 

Everyday we are facing a tight schedule, an inbox full of emails, the decision what will come first.
Do I clean my house or do I meet a friend?
Do I work all day or do I find some time for a cup of tea?
Do I wake up in the morning and feel overwhelmed already by the business that awaits me during the day, or do I start off the day with seeking my Heavenly Father first, the provider of everything I need today and more?
Choose time. Choose people. Choose the important. 

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It’s Friday again, which mean I join many other amazing people over at Lisa-Jo Baker‘s Five Minute Friday. Write for five minutes flat. No editing. Just words. And a great community.