Observations from the sickbed

A couple of days ago, I tore a muscle in my leg really badly and have been bedridden for most of this week. This interrupted my usual speed of life, but it also provided me with some unexpected time to observe and reflect. I suddenly was more aware of the little favors of life.

When I waited in the ER for a couple of hours, I was entertained by some friends who sent me texts, jokes and good thoughts. We had planned to go out that night; instead, they bought food and cooked dinner over at my place for me.
When I went back to work way too early (and in a lot of pain), friends looked out for me and sent me back home to get well properly. They called or texted to check in on me and cheer me up.
When a package arrived, I mustered up my strength to walk down all the five floors to collect it, but when I opened the door, I realized that a neighbor had already carried it all the way up to my apartment – they didn’t even know I was sick this week.
When I hobbled to the grocery store in the middle of the day to avoid the busy hours with my handicap, an elderly man walks up to me in the coffee aisle. He doesn’t speak German or English, but with a bit of Italian and sign language I figure out that he needs help with buying the correct coffee for his wife. Together we “discuss” the various options and have a laugh over it.
When I suddenly had time to read in the morning with a cup of the, the most beautiful sunshine lights up my little reading nook.

Little favors that lit up my life. They made this week so much better than anticipated, despite my injury I was connected to the kindness of friends and strangers. I have received favors, and I want to pass them on to others. It doesn’t take much to brighten someone’s day and remind us all of our shared humanity – a simple but fundamental truth in turbulent times such as these.

What kind of favors have you received this week? What can you pass on to others?


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Little Life Savers

There are days when everything seems easy, work flows and you just cross items off your to do list.
There are days when life seems to stagnate and nothing seems to move at all. And then there are days when you can barely keep your eyes open at 8pm and your body just begs you to go to bed already.

We cannot always choose what our days look like, but we can practice how to react to unforeseen challenges and exhausting moments.

Last year, I was often burned out and couldn’t even name what I wanted or needed when I came home completely tired. I knew I was restless, but I couldn’t tell what would calm me down.
So I started writing a list of things that might help me. When I felt energized and rested I decided to prepare for the moments when I wouldn’t be. I tried to be as specific as possible.
Cooking some comfort food –for me, that would be potato dumplings and brown sauce.
Reading a book instead of staring at the screen.
Dancing to 70s music.
Putting on makeup, just for me.
Flicking through old photo books to remind myself that hard times with pass and the sun will come back eventually.
Writing.
Calling a friend and sitting on their couch.
Asking for a hug.
Staring out the window, take one deep breath after the other.
Taking a day in the middle of the week to explore a new city with an old friend.
Praying.

What are specific things you do to get yourself through challenging times?


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Pulling away the cover

During my morning meditation I practice to be still.
To listen to my breaths coming and going in a steady rhythm.
To calm my thoughts about the day ahead of me or memories from yesterday.
To listen to what’s around and inside me.

When I allow stillness to settle in, I suddenly notice a lot.
A train rattling by in the distance.
The oven clock ticking so much louder all of a sudden.
The first rain drops on the window.
The birds chirping in the trees on your street.
The wandering thoughts slowly by slowly returning to the present, sitting with me in that moment.

My life is filled to the brim with schedules, to do lists and worries. This world is full of unsettling election results, unresolved wars and so many question marks about the future.
My vision is blurred by too much action, but practicing stillness can help to adjust my perspective. 


There’s so much to discover if I allow myself to truly see.
To pull away the cover of busyness, planning and worry.
To give my undivided attention to the moment right in front of me.
To not shy away from the dark spots I might find there.
To always look for the glimpses of hope leading me towards the light.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Little moments of rest

How do you know when you need a break? How does your body tell you that it’s enough and you need to take a step back? I believe that our body is a vital part of us and we should listen more closely to her.

For me, it’s headaches.

This morning, I woke up with a sharp pain piercing through my head, forcing me to lie down again instead of starting my day.
It’s Friday, the end of a long and demanding week. I had a lot to think of, many unforeseen tasks that meant long hours at work and very little time to take a break. Now my body screams to slow down and I’m a bit angry at myself for having waited so long.

We need periods of respite in our lives. And this starts with little moments of rest when we allow our mind and body to slow down and step away from the world for a moment.
Like eating lunch away from the desk and savoring every bite.
Like going to bed at a decent time and not binge another episode.
Like holding your face into the sun and let it warm you.
Like shedding a tear when the pressure is just too much.
Like doing one thing at a time instead of staring at multiple screens.
Like exchanging the phone for a book in the evening.
Like taking a deep breath when the chaos runs high.

It doesn’t have to be much, but over time these small things build a habit of listening and granting ourselves permission to rest in the midst of full schedules, minds and lives. They will still be there, but we’ll approach them differently.

What are your little moments of respite this week?


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Waste time well

Racing thoughts before my body is fully awake.
Ticking boxes on the to do list.
Scrolling mindlessly through social media, hoping for something– anything – to distract me from life.
Filling in paperwork at work while questioning what it is actually about.
Running errands with tired feet and an exhausted mind.

Annie Dillard once said, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

Sometimes I wonder if we waste our time by focusing so much on things that don’t really matter in the long run. By blowing minor details out of proportion. By continuing to run a show we might never have wanted to be a part of anyway. By allowing external factors to push us constantly forward. By keeping ourselves so busy that we have forgotten to listen to the essential, quiet voices in our lives.

I often wish I was more productive. I don’t mean hyper productivity or putting even more pressure on myself (I guess we have enough of that already!). What I mean is to tread carefully and take conscious steps into each day and task.
Do my work with room for creativity, failure and growth.
Be fully present in conversations.
Rest with intention.
Get lost in the good moments and waste time for the things that nourish my soul and relationships with others.
Hold still to watch that sunrise for a moment longer.
Use the hours and minutes that I’ve been given well.
Experience life in abundance with all its highs and lows.
Give myself enough time to feel it all.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Take a step back

For several mornings this week I’ve woken up long before my alarm.
My body was still tired, but my mind had already begun racing.

In the dark everything seems to be louder and bigger.
Up close.
Tasks scream to be done right now.
Worries appear twice as big as they probably are. Fear creeps in and slowly makes its way through your whole body.
By the time, the alarm goes off I already feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

In moments like this, it helps me to take a step back and see things from afar. meet my emotions with reason. Examine where they come from and which role they should play in this moment.
Writing things down helps to untangle my thoughts and create coherence in the midst of chaos. Penciling dates in a calendar puts things into perspective. I realize what is mine to do and what isn’t. It allows me to get to work when needed, but it also gives me freedom to release the worries I need to let go of.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

The patterns that make up a life

January is an invitation.
I don’t know if you’re the kind of person who reflects on what worked well in the previous year, which rhythms and rituals you’d like to continue or modify. Being too much in your head can be exhausting, but I have to come realize that I actually benefit from taking a step back once in a while to observe what I do and why I do things.

Do I live the life I want or does life just happen to me?

As this new year begins, I sit down and reflect on the patterns that make up my life: Which relationships surround me?
Which routines do I do every day?
Which activities do I slip into when I want to unwind?

This year I want to observe what I pay attention to.
How do I spend my time and thoughts?
Which emotions come and go, which impact do they have on me?

I realize that I tend to escape into social media scrolls when I just hope for some distracting entertainment and it usually leaves me empty afterwards. Reading a book is much more uplifting.
I realize that I want to connect more with people, so scheduling intentional community time with others might be a good next step.
I realize that my job is really busy and keeps me on track, but it also enables me to learn and discover so much.

My life is made up of so many different patterns and colors – together, they make up the blanket that holds my stories and keeps me warm in colder times. And the more I realize, the more grateful I become for this wild, wonder-ful life I’ve been given to explore.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
It’s been a while, but I’m glad to revisit this beloved rhythm.

Teaching in Times of Corona

We live in weird times. 

Two weeks ago, schools closed all around the country. Thousands of teachers and students had to re-organize their way of teaching and learning over night, parents had to become used to having their kids home all day and help them with school assignments while doing their own work as well. Following all the funny and more serious posts from parents and teachers online, I guess it’s been a challenging time for all of us. 

When I was a student myself and my parents were missionaries in the Ugandan bush, we were homeschooled, so learning by myself was not completely new to me. But what would it look like applied to my own teaching? Here’s what I have learned from distance teaching so far.

Teaching is hard work. Teaching from a distance is exhausting.
On a normal school day, I teach two to four classes seeing about a hundred students. I prepare my material and hand it out to students. They work through it, ask questions, we discuss the results. Distance takes away the immediate student – teacher interaction, and this week I’ve learned again how important it actually is. 

When learning a language, you need to practice it with someone and a teacher to give you feedback. When you learn about something in history, it’s about so much more than just facts. Issues are complex and only become alive and relevant for our world today in a discussion with the class. 

Whenever a student has a question, I can quickly explain it to them verbally. During a study phase I can walk around and see where students are stuck or might have taken a wrong turn. Giving them direction can be solved with a couple of words. 

‘Translating’ all of this into written form has kept me busy for the last two weeks. You have to prepare your lessons even more carefully, putting every explanation and task into such words that every student can follow them. Instead of quick questions in class I receive 50-100 emails or messages a day from students to clarify a task or asking for feedback on a completed exercise. Sending out standard answers won’t help their learning progress, but replying to each learner individually takes time. 

I truly hope that the experience of homeschooling might change the perspective on teachers, who are often stereotyped as ‘lazy’ or ‘overpaid’ by the public (and some parents as well).

You need a routine and help others create one.
The first few days of this new situation felt a little bit like a holiday with no one waiting for me to show up at a specific time and place. You can suddenly have a lie in or watch Netflix all day – which is cool for a few days. But when it suddenly dawns on us that this is not a game and staying home is our new reality, living and working in it can become quite a challenge. 

I try to stay outside the hole of purposelessness and dullness by keeping up a routine. I set my alarm clock and try to get up around the same time every day. I put on proper clothes and clean my apartment. I eat my meals at the table instead of on the couch. I schedule daily meetings with students and friends to have something to look forward to. Since I’m in quarantine, I can’t leave the house, but I try to exercise inside and take in fresh air on my balcony. I make time to read and relax. And yes, I Netflix (obviously). 

In one of our calls, a student asked if we continued classes during Easter break. When I replied, “No because you deserve some holidays as well”, he desperately begged to keep going and admitted that he was quite overwhelmed and bored. Many teachers have drowned their students in piles of exercises and tasks without any structure or plan to proceed. While I’m a huge fan of responsibility and ownership, the ability to organize yourself doesn’t come naturally to everyone. For families and young people who struggle to make time for their tasks and motivate themselves to do something, teachers can help to set up a schedule that is challenging and not overpowering at the same time.  


This is not a holiday, but this is also real life.
While I do think that keeping ourselves busy is a good strategy to fight boredom and panic in these uncertain times, we just also be realistic. There are tons of memes and videos out there from parents ranting about homeschooling and all the work teachers give their kids. Yes, for some students (and some parents) it might be a wake-up call that teaching and learning is actual work. Even though we don’t get to meet in a classroom, it doesn’t mean that we’re off for the next five weeks (or more) without any tasks or expectations. So don’t call it a holiday, take it seriously. 

However, we as teachers have to consider the circumstances. We cannot expect a kid or teenager to concentrate for eight hours a day with younger siblings bouncing around or parents to explain complicated math problems. Our tasks have to modified for easy access and easy understanding. Or maybe abandoned all together. Families now have the chance to be together, enjoy each other’s company, learn things outside the classroom and curriculum. Why not spend some time cooking with a parent or experimenting with play dough or naming the plants in the garden? If we allow our students to breathe and their parents to be their teachers for once, we might support families and their learning experience even better. 


(Re-)Discover yourself.
As much as I love a routine, it doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. A traditional school environment doesn’t allow for much individuality with specific classes and mostly one method of teaching and learning. This unusual situation might prove to be a blessing to those struggling to fit into the strict patterns of a school day. 

Times like these challenge us to focus on ourselves a bit more and discover what we’re made of. When no schedule dictates what we have to do when, we might learn that we’re not as tough or organized as we’d hoped to be. However, we might also re-discover strengths that we’ve had all along and which can now be brought to fruition. 

It helps to identify times throughout the day (or night) when you’re most productive: Are you an early riser? Do you work best during the night? Which setting helps you concentrate the best, which factors distract you the most? Get to know yourself and then work accordingly. If you work early in the morning, why not relax in the afternoon? If other people motivate you, why not connect with them virtually while you both do your respective work? 

In order to maximize your results in the individual tasks, it helps to sort them into heavy and light work. 

Collect all the tasks you have or want to do. Which of them need a lot of headspace, creativity and energy? Which ones have a deadline attached to them? Which of them do you dread the most? Label them as heavy work and do them in your most productive times. 

Use your down time (less productive time) for less demanding and fun tasks, your light work. 

In my case, I am a morning person and therefore get up early to do my heavy work: writing and creating things. My down times are often used for light work, such as responding to emails or research. 

Teachers and parents can help students to find their best working times and settings, and then allow them space to work with that. At the of the day, you’ll look back on today’s accomplishments feeling productive and content.

 

Challenge yourself and challenge the system. 
A normal school week has me so busy that I don’t have the time and energy to experiment a lot and sometimes I am not happy with how my lessons turn out. School resources, especially digital ones, are often limited and don’t allow for many new teaching or testing options. With so much time at home right now, I enjoy looking into new ways of lesson planning and communicating with students online. Putting together online quizzes, videos and whole lessons is a challenge, but also quite fun. 

Observing the rapid change in the last few weeks has been quite interesting actually:  Pedagogical researchers have demanded more individualized learning strategies and support for years, open-minded teachers have struggled with restricting rules and politics have held back support for too long. Issues like data security, money or lack of knowledge have always been recited as stumbling blocks to innovation and change – until a national crisis hits and people are forced to teach and learn differently. May this challenge encourage teachers to make use of what is already out there and may politicians and those who have something to say in the educational sector finally cash in on their promises and pave the way to true change and innovation.


Thank God for technology.
The most obvious challenges and changes happen in the digital realm. Every day, I log into a zoom meeting with a bunch of students. With a shared screen we talk through new content and old exercises. We play vocabulary and history quizzes on our phones and tablets. I put together tests which every student can access through our cloud classroom. All while lying in bed and sipping coffee. 

With the absence of classrooms, suspended tests and loss of personal contact you have to become creative. Yes, using new technology can be exhausting and work intensive at first, it takes a while to figure out how it works. I’m grateful for my students’ feedback what worked and what didn’t. 

But now we have the time to experiment and try new things which can be incredibly useful in our teaching (both in and outside the classroom). Why not click through the ebook versions of your normal school books and see what is already on offer there? Why not enrol in an online class for fun and see what is possible in digital teaching? Why not set up a cloud classroom and explore the possibilities to engage and connect with students in new ways? Why not reinvent the ways you teach and test? 

If we spend some time challenging ourselves and our teaching styles now, we will hopefully be better prepared for the digital challenges in education in the future. And we might have some fun along the way, who knows. 


Why social distancing is wrong (by definition).
Technology can solve a lot of problems, but there are a few things no screen or app can replace: The personal connection to another human being. 

These days, politicians and media urge us to practice ‘social distancing’. While I understand the logic and reasoning behind it, I am also a word person and struggle with the word choice. ‘Social distancing’ implies that we stop communicating with each other and focus solely on ourselves. This would be catastrophic in times when so many of our students are stuck in struggling homes. Many of them share rooms with siblings and don’t have a lot of space to themselves. Some have no other form of distraction than their phone. Some of them struggle to connect with family members. Some of them face domestic violence.   

If we teachers stop communicating with our students, they might lose a valuable contact to trust and talk to. We could be the key people to provide a routine, encouragement or simply an open ear. These strange weeks at home have made us more vulnerable, more hungry for human interaction and connection. They reveal what humanity is made of, the good and the bad. We need to be in touch with others – not physically, but with every opportunity we can find online. It will help us grow together, as teachers and students, as human beings. 
This lockdown is a challenge for the entire society – doctors and politicians, nurses and farmers,   workers, parents and their children, teachers. There will be hindrances and conflict along the way, but hopefully this will be an opportunity for all of us to explore and thrive. As individuals in our roles as students, parents and teachers, but also as a community helping and encouraging each other. 

What have you learned from this experience so far – as a student, teacher or parent? I’d love to hear from you! 

Permission to Settle

When people used to ask me, “So where do you want to be in the future?”, I would always say somewhere abroad. Staying here or settling down was never an option.

TCKs never settle.
That’s a fact.
Something that has seeped into my veins and become part of my identity.
I cannot settle.
I am not allowed to settle.
I am made for a nomad life, wandering from place to place in search of the next adventure, a sense of home.

After I graduated from university and started to work, something changed.

I have become more at ease with staying in a place. When I moved into my apartment, I was brave enough to hang up pictures and make myself comfortable for the first time. No matter how long I would stay, I wanted it to look like my place.

There have been battles raging inside of me.
Flashes of envy whenever I read about my TCK friends taking a job in a faraway country and living the global lifestyle.
Inner urges to look out for other job opportunities, to keep on moving.
Unknown feelings of actually liking my work and the people I’m with every day from all kinds of cultures and backgrounds.

The world I had longed to explored has been put right in front of me.

The thought of being stuck in one place and becoming too comfortable still creeps me out and I hope I won’t fall into this trap. But when people ask me now where I want to be in the future, I tell them,
“I don’t know.
But for now, I want to invest myself in the work I’ve been given.
To be present with the people in this place.
To make a home and get to know new parts of myself here.
I give myself permission to stay and settle.

To my fellow TCKs: Have you settled somewhere? How do you feel about settling vs. constantly moving?


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Open Your Door

There was a note in my mailbox yesterday: “You weren’t home when we tried to deliver your package, so we dropped it off at your neighbor’s apartment.”

This happens quite often since mailmen normally show up when I’m at work. What was different, though, was the name on the note.
A neighbor I hadn’t heard of or met yet.

When I rang, nobody answered.
I was already walking further up the stairs when the door opened.
An older man sat there in his wheelchair and invited me in.

I have lived in my apartment for three years, but I have never been in any of my neighbors’ apartments. I roughly know the names, but I haven’t really talked to anyone. Everyone seems to live their own life and is happy to enjoy quiet evenings behind closed doors.

With a heavy accent he told me about his life, how rough things have become after his leg had been amputated some months ago. His wife had died two years ago and the depression had made his whole body suffer. When his granddaughter showed up, they spoke Portuguese. He was sad about the lack of care from so many and yet wanted to enjoy living.

When I left I was deeply touched.
Here’s a story of a man, an individual behind the cold walls of my apartment building. Someone who makes it a bit more alive, more human.
And I wonder who and what else is behind closed doors, everyone with their own stories and problems. Maybe we have to challenge ourselves a bit more to look behind the scenes, to invite others into our homes, into our stories, into our lives.
Often things aren’t as shiny and happy as they seem on the outside – looking at them together might make us more alive, more human.


Writing for Five Minute Friday today.