[Five Minute Friday] Open

My life is like a prison sometimes. I feel trapped in my day-to-day routine. I just function, but true life has left me. 
My mind is like a prison sometimes. I mull the same thoughts and questions over and over, but there’s no answer that makes the spinning stop. 
My soul is like a prison sometimes. Worries and fear of the unknown creep up and won’t let me sleep. The more I worry the bigger these forces become and tear me apart.

It’s so easy to become closed off. 
Stuck in my own doings and pereceptions and worries. 
Hidden from the world and other people. 

How can you be a door opener
for other people?

But there is a door. 
Only recently when I reflected upon this busy, busy year I had with final exams and studying 24-7, without any time for friends but a lot to worry about – only then did I realize I had a few doors along the way.
Or rather, door openers. 

People like J.
Whenever I felt overwhelmed with questions and deadlines and my own emotions, there was J. 
We would cook together or have coffee and she would listen. 
And then speak firm and encouraging words. 
She listened to my questions and pointed me towards answers.
She opened my perspective for more. 
She restored a bit of hope where I had lost it.

J is a door opener. 

Interesting enough, this year roles are reversed. 
She’s stuck with exams and drowning in books. 
She is overwhelmed with questions about the future. 
She might also feel like in prison sometimes. 
The other day we had lunch and talked a bit how much I appreciated her role in my life. And then she said, “but don’t you know that you’re my J?”

This touched something inside of me because that’s who I want to be.
I want to be someone’s J. 
A friend who shares life with you. 
A listener. 
An encourager. 
A thinker. 
A “sit still and wait” person. 
A perspective changer. 
A hope restorer. 
A door opener. 

*Yes, there were other people in the last year, too, and I can’t thank them enough for being Js in my life! If you’re reading this, please know how much I appreciate you!

————————————————————

Friday is writing time!Kate Motaung‘s Five Minute Friday party! 
Five minutes to give it a go at

[Five Minute Friday] When

No matter how much you plan a lesson, a day, or a life – something will always go wrong.
Isn’t this the attitude we often have towards life? 
Well, what if things interrupt our plans, but in a very positive, surprising way?
Especially when you least expect it.

Today is my first day of the holidays. 
It was quite a delight walking out of the school yesterday and feel the knowledge flood me: You’re off for an entire week. You can sleep and rest. 
With these high spirits I walked downtown. 
At a traffic light I ran into a friend I had met in my first semester and hadn’t seen in quite a few years. 
I thought I would just say hello and then move on. 

I was wrong.

We started talking about what we’ve been up to for the last few years and a superficial chat quickly turned into a time of sharing about challenges and faith questions. 
We ended up going for coffee and a few minutes turned into a few hours. 
We left the café, smiling and incredibly blessed. 

I didn’t expect to run into that friend yesterday. 
I hadn’t planned to spend hours in a coffee shop hearing his life story. 
And yet I am so glad I did. 

What if life isn’t about perfect plans and anticipating all the negative possibilities? 
I guess life is more about our willingness to be interruptible. 
To be open for the people and things that come across our way each day. 
Because when we least expect it we will meet blessings in disguise. 
These kinds of interruptions won’t destroy our timetables – they’ll enrich our souls in ways no planned event ever could. 

——————————————————

Friday means writing party over at Kate Motaung‘s place! One prompt. Five minutes of flat writing. No editing. But loads of encouragement from fellow writers!

[Five Minute Friday] Keep

Things had to change.
After five years of studying theory at uni, it was time to put knowledge into practice. 
So I started a new job a few weeks ago. Actually, my first job ever. I am a teacher at a school nearby and the next 1.5 years I’ll be in training. People will watch and evaluate my teaching, there will be lots of late nights preparing and many early mornings.
I had heard quite a bit of rumors and horror stories about these years. 
“You won’t have a life during this time.” 
 “You’ll just live for school.”

So obviously I wasn’t that thrilled when I had to get up at 5.30 am for the first time in many years. 
I would cut all my extra curricular activities, no more social work. 
I would limit my relationships because I wouldn’t have time for people. 
I have to be an adult now. But is that really what it’s like?

Shortly after I started working I met a friend for lunch and she said something that stuck with me: 
“Don’t stop living. Keep the things in your life that keep you alive.”

I guess we all know situations that drain our energy. 
You might live through such a phase of life right now. 
You only go from day to day. 
You function, but you don’t live. 
And slowly by slowly you realize joy has left the house called your heart.

Don’t cut off everything.
Yes, life is not just about fun and easy going. 
Yes, there are times that really challenge us and take our energy.
But keep going. 
Keep the things and people in your life that push you forward. 
That touch something inside of you, below the surface. 
In German, we have a verb for that: “beleben” – it gives life to you.

Keep life inside of you. 
This might mean a good night’s sleep. 
A coffee date with a friend. 
Reading an encouraging and exciting book. 
Going for a run. 
In my case this means lots of cooking. 
Playing music in a band. 
Leading worship at church. 
Practicing my administrational skills at organizing congresses.

Find what gives life to you. 
Small things everyday, bigger things once in a while.
Don’t just function. 
Live!

————————————————————–
Friday means five minute of free writing over at Kate Motaung‘s place – come and join us!

[Five Minute Friday] Wait

I pounded on the door.
Desperate to be let in.
My head full of questions, my heart like a restless sea of worry.
What is going to happen? What does the future hold for me?
Answer me, Lord.
Finishing a phase in life and transitioning into the next is not easy.
Stepping into new things in life feels like standing at the edge and wondering what would happen if I took the plunge.
The next steps are not mapped out clearly in front of me. All I can do is wait.
I don’t want to wait.
Waiting seems to be a natural part of life.
Waiting for the bus. Waiting for a friend who’s late. Waiting for summer. Waiting for the cake in the oven to be done.
Waiting for a better life to start. Waiting for the crisis to be over. Waiting for a spouse. Waiting for a child.
We often don’t want to wait, yet we have no way to change it.
We want to have the answer now. We want things now,
But what if it’s not really about the waiting to be over? What if the waiting is the essential thing?





Waiting time is never wasted time.
Waiting develops us in ways often unseen: endurance, patience with others and ourselves, an inner perspective.
Waiting prepares the canvas onto which our future is painted – brush stroke after brush stroke.
Waiting strengthens the foundation we can later build on.
Waiting sharpens our character for the trials to come.
Waiting redirects our perspective.
We become aware of our own dependence and neediness.
We open up ourselves to the help of others.
We find the Lord who is working in our waiting and who’ll open up doors we never ever pounded on.
What are you waiting for? And how are you waiting?
———————————————————————-
It’s another Friday and over at Kate Motaung’s place we gather for a fabulous five minutes of writing. One prompt. Just write. No edit. Share and be inspired! 

[Five Minute Friday] Share

It’s 6.30 am and my alarm clock won’t let me sleep any longer.
Time to get up and go to work.
I don’t feel ready for that.

The sky is dark, dawn is slowly creeping up.
I look out the window and see the neighboring houses covered in white.
Snow.
My mood drops, my smile turns into a grimly look, and I think “O no.”
I am not a fan of snow and the cold, but that’s a different story.
I walk into the bathroom to splash a bit of water into this sleepy face.
I make coffee.
All the while I feel a mood change taking place inside of me.
From hopeful to pessimistic.
From happy to moody.
Slightly aggressive.
And the day hasn’t even fully begun yet.

As I consider my feelings this morning I have to ask myself the uncomfortable question: What do I share today?
Do I want to pass on these feelings and attitudes to the people I meet today?
What do YOU share today?
How will people meet you on the street, at work, at uni today?
What will they take away from a conversation with you? A “Oh, she was really something today”, or “I feel encouraged because of her”?
What will you like and share on facebook or twitter? Yet another animal video or something that might speak to someone else?

I don’t know how your morning looked like.
But I know that the world’s already full enough of grumpy, hopeless people.
Share some difference today.
A smile.
A word of encouragement.
A bit of perspective in the midst of pessimism.

———————————————–
One prompt. Five minutes of writing, no editing. That’s Five Minute Friday at Kate Motaung‘s place. It’s always a joy to share encouragement and stories with the other writers, come join us!

What Breath Can Teach Us

I breathe in.
Feel the air flooding through my nose, mouth, down the trachea into my lungs and stomach.
I breathe out.
Breathe in again.
See my stomach rise and fall.
The more I listen to my breath the calmer I become.
Nature has its God-given rhythm and I can simply join its pattern.

Yesterday in my speaking class we did breathing and articulation exercises.
Words are a wonderful thing.
They can convey content, feelings, subtle hints, deep suspicions.
They can tear down or build up.
They always resonate with us.
While we experimented with different dynamics and voices the instructor said one interesting thing: “Whatever and however you speak – make sure your breath and yourself are rooted within you. Always come back to that root inside of you.”

This might sound strange, but it is the secret to good speaking.
You need firm roots to manage the different pitches, moods, contents you manage each day.
The people and things you interact with in 24 hours might kick you around, might really challenge you – but you can always come back to that breath inside of you.
Breathing in. Breathing out. Natural order. Peace.

Peace.
This word sticks with me, not only since yesterday’s class.
Feeling rooted while speaking, returning to that natural breath is a good metaphor for the rest of life.
It kicks around sometimes, doesn’t it?
Calls to take, errands to run, people to meet, counseling to give, problems to solve, fears to face…
Life’s tough and it’s not hard to feel like a tiny boat on a stormy ocean at times.

In the midst of these turbulences we need to be rooted.
We need that place we can go to, where our sense of self and order are restored.
Where our hearts can let go and calm down.
Where we can breathe in fresh air, a new sense of hope and perspective.
That place we can always return to.
That haven of peace.

This place looks different for all of us.
A cup of coffee in the morning.
A night of good and enough sleep.
A song that breaks the gloominess of our day.
A meeting with a friend.
Exercise.
Reading an encouraging book.

Silence.
Using the early hours of the morning to be still.
Before speaking a word I want to listen.
Listen to my breath going in and out.
Allow my heart and body to be flooded with air, energy, spirit for the day.
Before telling the Lord MY agenda for the day, I want to hear what HE’s got in store for today. 
I face the challenges of this day with peace because I know I can always return to it. 
To Him, the Prince of Peace.

[Five Minute Friday] Send

You never know what shape and sizes happiness comes in. 
Sometimes it can be just a small, square piece of paper. 
Filled with words of encouragement. 
As much as I like email and the speed we can communicate across continents these days — there’s nothing like opening your mailbox and finding handwritten letters from friends.

There’s something about putting pen to paper. 
A process of reflection takes place as I try to find the words to convey my feelings. 
It takes courage to share your heart. 
It takes boldness to send out a piece of yourself to someone else. 


But it is such a blessing. 
Someone else gets a glimpse into your heart and life. 
You enter a new level of friendship, you’re not strangers anymore. 
Someone else reads your words of encouragement in times when they need it the most. 

But the biggest blessing returns to you as you imagine their faces light up upon your letter. 
Their hearts lifted because of your words. 
Their faith renewed because of the faith you have for them.
And maybe they’ll be bold enough to reply and share a bit of themselves with you. 

Let’s be bold. 
Let’s not hide ourselves – our discouragement, struggles, and joys – from the world.
Let’s send out a bit of ourselves to others. 
Let’s speak words of encouragement where it is most needed.
Let’s send out happiness in an envelope.

Well, this is the theory. 
But I decided to do this in a very practical way and will join round five of #fmfpartysnailmail by Kaitlyn Bouchillon
You send out five cards and you’ll get five cards. 
You connect with wonderful women around the world. 
Just one little step, but I am excited to see what will come out of it!
If you’re ever interested in doing something similar, let me know – I would love to connect!

——————————————————————-

It’s Friday and as usual, I am meeting up with more wonderful writers over at Kate Motaung‘s place! Come and join the writing party!

[Five Minute Friday] Welcome


Welcome to 2015, readers! I hope you had a great start into the new year and are excited for all the things to come. It’s Friday, so as always, I join a fabulous writing community over at Kate Motaung‘s place. 
——————————————————–

It felt like the first day of school. 
Searching for rooms and familiar faces. 
Meeting new people. 
Slowly finding out who would become your colleagues and friends.
After five years of studying and two months of resting I am back in school. 
Literally, since I will be teaching highschool students very soon.
The new year is truly new for me. 
A new phase of life, full of adjustments, challenges, and changes. 
But I am not sure I am ready to welcome them.

I don’t know how your last year looked like. 
I don’t know what the new one has in store for you. 
And I surely don’t know how you feel about all of this.
Are new people welcome in your home and life?
Do you expect or avoid changes in your life this year?
Do you dread or embrace the future?

Sometimes life and its people overwhelm you. 
They surprise you. In a good way. 

When I entered the school this week I was surprised to see many familiar faces. 
People I didn’t know before turned out really nice and opened great conversations.
While I was mostly hesitant and scared of all the new courses and work to come I slowly rediscover a long lost feeling: passion and excitement for the new opportunities lying ahead of me.

So as we start this new year – each of us with their own challenges and joys – let go of the past and hesitation. 
Let’s welcome new people in our lives or allow old ones to surprise us. 
Let’s welcome interruptions and blessings in disguise. 
Let’s be overwhelmed at times and enjoy times to breathe even more. 
Let’s welcome life.

[Waiting for Him] Didn’t you see me?

This month I am doing a series on Advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas. You can find more info on the series here. Come and join us for a month of getting ready and waiting!
In diesem Monat gibt es eine Serie über Advent und wie wir uns auf Weihnachten vorbereiten können. Hier gibt es mehr Infos über die Serie. Komm und sei dabei bei den Vorbereitungen und beim Warten!
                                           ——————————————————–

We talked quite a bit about our expectations this Advent already. We learn to wait, but also to dream big. And most of all, that the Lord we’re waiting for knows how to exceed our expectations again and again. 
But what does that mean? He doesn’t only give us more of what we want and expect, he starts by changing and moulding our expectations. He might redirect our gaze towards someone or something we wouldn’t see otherwise. He shows his strength in our weakness. His love and compassion in our coldness. His time in our stress. 

When all Christmas cookies are baked and the candles are lit – then it’s time to listen to a Christmas story in our house. It’s the same every year, everywhere. We took that story to warm Uganda, where Christmas was rather about sweating than snuggling with a cup of tea. We turned it into a musical. Even though we’re no longer at home for the first Advent we take that story with us. Just yesterday I got to listen to it with friends. The message is the same: Christ is coming this Christmas, but it might be different than you expected. 
So get yourself a cup of tea and a warm blanket (or a cool drink if you live in the Southern hemisphere) and challenge yourself and your view of Christmas with this story: Leo Tolstoy’s “Papa Panov’s Special Christmas”.

It was Christmas Eve and although it was still afternoon, lights had begun to appear in the shops and houses of the little Russian village, for the short winter day was nearly over. Excited children scurried indoors and now only muffled sounds of chatter and laughter escaped from closed shutters.

Old Papa Panov, the village shoemaker, stepped outside his shop to take one last look around. The sounds of happiness, the bright lights and the faint but delicious smells of Christmas cooking reminded him of past Christmas times when his wife had still been alive and his own children little. Now they had gone. His usually cheerful face, with the little laughter wrinkles behind the round steel spectacles, looked sad now. But he went back indoors with a firm step, put up the shutters and set a pot of coffee to heat on the charcoal stove. Then, with a sigh, he settled in his big armchair.



Papa Panov did not often read, but tonight he pulled down the big old family Bible and, slowly tracing the lines with one forefinger, he read again the Christmas story. He read how Mary and Joseph, tired by their journey to Bethlehem, found no room for them at the inn, so that Mary’s little baby was born in the cowshed.
“Oh, dear, oh, dear!” exclaimed Papa Panov, “if only they had come here! I would have given them my bed and I could have covered the baby with my patchwork quilt to keep him warm.”
He read on about the wise men who had come to see the baby Jesus, bringing him splendid gifts. Papa Panov’s face fell. “I have no gift that I could give him,” he thought sadly.

Then his face brightened. He put down the Bible, got up and stretched his long arms t the shelf high up in his little room. He took down a small, dusty box and opened it. Inside was a perfect pair of tiny leather shoes. Papa Panov smiled with satisfaction. Yes, they were as good as he had remembered- the best shoes he had ever made. “I should give him those,” he decided, as he gently put them away and sat down again.

He was feeling tired now, and the further he read the sleeper he became. The print began to dance before his eyes so that he closed them, just for a minute. In no time at all Papa Panov was fast asleep.
And as he slept he dreamed. He dreamed that someone was in his room and he know at once, as one does in dreams, who the person was. It was Jesus.

“You have been wishing that you could see me, Papa Panov.” he said kindly, “then look for me tomorrow. It will be Christmas Day and I will visit you. But look carefully, for I shall not tell you who I am.”

When at last Papa Panov awoke, the bells were ringing out and a thin light was filtering through the shutters. “Bless my soul!” said Papa Panov. “It’s Christmas Day!”
He stood up and stretched himself for he was rather stiff. Then his face filled with happiness as he remembered his dream. 

This would be a very special Christmas after all, for Jesus was coming to visit him. How would he look? Would he be a little baby, as at that first Christmas? Would he be a grown man, a carpenter- or the great King that he is, God’s Son? He must watch carefully the whole day through so that he recognized him however he came.

Papa Panov put on a special pot of coffee for his Christmas breakfast, took down the shutters and looked out of the window. The street was deserted, no one was stirring yet. No one except the road sweeper. He looked as miserable and dirty as ever, and well he might! Whoever wanted to work on Christmas Day – and in the raw cold and bitter freezing mist of such a morning?

Papa Panov opened the shop door, letting in a thin stream of cold air. “Come in!” he shouted across the street cheerily. “Come in and have some hot coffee to keep out the cold!”
The sweeper looked up, scarcely able to believe his ears. He was only too glad to put down his broom and come into the warm room. His old clothes steamed gently in the heat of the stove and he clasped both red hands round the comforting warm mug as he drank.
Papa Panov watched him with satisfaction, but every now and them his eyes strayed to the window. It would never do to miss his special visitor.
“Expecting someone?” the sweeper asked at last. So Papa Panov told him about his dream.
“Well, I hope he comes,” the sweeper said, “you’ve given me a bit of Christmas cheer I never expected to have. I’d say you deserve to have your dream come true.” And he actually smiled.

When he had gone, Papa Panov put on cabbage soup for his dinner, then went to the door again, scanning the street. He saw no one. But he was mistaken. Someone was coming.
The girl walked so slowly and quietly, hugging the walls of shops and houses, that it was a while before he noticed her. She looked very tired and she was carrying something. As she drew nearer he could see that it was a baby, wrapped in a thin shawl. There was such sadness in her face and in the pinched little face of the baby, that Papa Panov’s heart went out to them.
“Won’t you come in,” he called, stepping outside to meet them. “You both need a warm by the fire and a rest.”

The young mother let him shepherd her indoors and to the comfort of the armchair. She gave a big sigh of relief.
“I’ll warm some milk for the baby,” Papa Panov said, “I’ve had children of my own- I can feed her for you.” He took the milk from the stove and carefully fed the baby from a spoon, warming her tiny feet by the stove at the same time.
“She needs shoes,” the cobbler said.
But the girl replied, “I can’t afford shoes, I’ve got no husband to bring home money. I’m on my way to the next village to get work.”

A sudden thought flashed through Papa Panov’s mind. He remembered the little shoes he had looked at last night. But he had been keeping those for Jesus. He looked again at the cold little feet and made up his mind.

“Try these on her,” he said, handing the baby and the shoes to the mother. The beautiful little shoes were a perfect fit. The girl smiled happily and the baby gurgled with pleasure.

“You have been so kind to us,” the girl said, when she got up with her baby to go. “May all your Christmas wishes come true!” 

But Papa Panov was beginning to wonder if his very special Christmas wish would come true. Perhaps he had missed his visitor? He looked anxiously up and down the street. There were plenty of people about but they were all faces that he recognized. There were neighbors going to call on their families. They nodded and smiled and wished him Happy Christmas! Or beggars- and Papa Panov hurried indoors to fetch them hot soup and a generous hunk of bread, hurrying out again in case he missed the Important Stranger.


All too soon the winter dusk fell. When Papa Panov next went to the door and strained his eyes, he could no longer make out the passers-by. most were home and indoors by now anyway. He walked slowly back into his room at last, put up the shutters, and sat down wearily in his armchair. 

So it had been just a dream after all. Jesus had not come. 

Then all at once he knew that he was no longer alone in the room. 
This was not adream for he was wide awake. 

At first he seemed to see before his eyes the long stream of people who had come to him that day. 
He saw again the old road sweeper, the young mother and her baby and the beggars he had fed. As they passed, each whispered, “Didn’t you see me, Papa Panov?” 

“Who are you?” he called out, bewildered. 

Then another voice answered him. It was the voice from his dream- the voice of Jesus. 

“I was hungry and you fed me,” he said. “I was naked and you clothed me. I was cold and you warmed me. I came to you today in everyone of those you helped and welcomed.” 

Then all was quiet and still. Only the sound of the big clock ticking. A great peace and happiness seemed to fill the room, overflowing Papa Panov’s heart until he wanted to burst out singing and laughing and dancing with joy. 

“So he did come after all!” was all that he said. 



[Five Minute Friday] Prepare

This month I am doing a series on Advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas. You can find more info on the series here. Come and join us for a month of getting ready and waiting!
But it’s also Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung. Join our writing party here!
                                           ——————————————————–

Prepare. 
I suppose this word sums up what we do during Advent.
We wait for Christmas, the birth of our savior.
And we prepare. Get everything ready. 
Clean the house.
Plan the Christmas Eve meal.
Buy presents and wrap them.
Write Christmas cards.

“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,    

 

  and every mountain and hill be made low;
  the uneven ground shall become level,     
  and the rough places a plain.”
Isaiah 40:3&4

The bible calls us to prepare. The Lord himself told the Israelites to prepare. 
Make way for the Lord. 
Prepare yourselves and everything around you because I’m coming. 

So how does preparation look like back then and today?
Are we really prepared when Christmas comes or are we simply exhausted from preparing?
It is quite a big job to do to prepare for the Lord’s coming. 
After years of struggle and exile and ‘punishment’ from the Lord he wants to return. 
To be with them again. How do you get ready for that? 
The bible speaks of making a road in the wilderness and making the hills flat. 
Wow, that’s not easy.

Getting ourselves ready for Christmas can be hard, too. 
To get your heart in the right place. 
To establish a welcoming atmosphere and nurture an expectant spirit in the midst of Christmas turbulences – that’s really difficult.
But it starts with little things. 
Taking steps towards a bigger thing. 
Making a road in the wilderness, as long and dry as it may be. 
Working on one hill at a time.

Practical preparation can help us with the spiritual preparation. 
For me, Advent begins when we light the first candle at home and when we start baking Christmas cookies.
It might be in the middle of the week, in the midst of work and other challenges. 
But the moment you put on that Christmas cassette (yes, cassette!) and roll out the dough – this is when Advent begins. 
It is my first step towards Christmas. 

It would be a shame not to share some of these sweet cookie outcomes…soon. 
But before that I would like to hear from you: When does Advent start for you? 
How do you prepare for Christmas?