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[Five Minute Friday] Welcome

Welcome to 2015, readers! I hope you had a great start into the new year and are excited for all the things to come. It’s Friday, so as always, I join a fabulous writing community over at Kate Motaung‘s place.

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It felt like the first day of school.

Searching for rooms and familiar faces.

Meeting new people.

Slowly finding out who would become your colleagues and friends.

After five years of studying and two months of resting I am back in school.

Literally, since I will be teaching highschool students very soon.
The new year is truly new for me.

A new phase of life, full of adjustments, challenges, and changes.

But I am not sure I am ready to welcome them.

I don’t know how your last year looked like.

I don’t know what the new one has in store for you.

And I surely don’t know how you feel about all of this.
Are new people welcome in your home and life?
Do you expect or avoid changes in your life this year?
Do you dread or embrace the future?

Sometimes life and its people overwhelm you.

They surprise you. In a good way.

When I entered the school this week I was surprised to see many familiar faces.

People I didn’t know before turned out really nice and opened great conversations.
While I was mostly hesitant and scared of all the new courses and work to come I slowly rediscover a long lost feeling: passion and excitement for the new opportunities lying ahead of me.

So as we start this new year – each of us with their own challenges and joys – let go of the past and hesitation.

Let’s welcome new people in our lives or allow old ones to surprise us.

Let’s welcome interruptions and blessings in disguise.

Let’s be overwhelmed at times and enjoy times to breathe even more.

Let’s welcome life.

[Waiting for Him] Didn’t you see me?

This month I am doing a series on Advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas. You can find more info on the series here. Come and join us for a month of getting ready and waiting!

In diesem Monat gibt es eine Serie über Advent und wie wir uns auf Weihnachten vorbereiten können. Hier gibt es mehr Infos über die Serie. Komm und sei dabei bei den Vorbereitungen und beim Warten!

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We talked quite a bit about our expectations this Advent already. We learn to wait, but also to dream big. And most of all, that the Lord we’re waiting for knows how to exceed our expectations again and again.

But what does that mean? He doesn’t only give us more of what we want and expect, he starts by changing and moulding our expectations. He might redirect our gaze towards someone or something we wouldn’t see otherwise. He shows his strength in our weakness. His love and compassion in our coldness. His time in our stress.

When all Christmas cookies are baked and the candles are lit – then it’s time to listen to a Christmas story in our house. It’s the same every year, everywhere. We took that story to warm Uganda, where Christmas was rather about sweating than snuggling with a cup of tea. We turned it into a musical. Even though we’re no longer at home for the first Advent we take that story with us. Just yesterday I got to listen to it with friends. The message is the same: Christ is coming this Christmas, but it might be different than you expected.

So get yourself a cup of tea and a warm blanket (or a cool drink if you live in the Southern hemisphere) and challenge yourself and your view of Christmas with this story: Leo Tolstoy’s “Papa Panov’s Special Christmas”.

It was Christmas Eve and although it was still afternoon, lights had begun to appear in the shops and houses of the little Russian village, for the short winter day was nearly over. Excited children scurried indoors and now only muffled sounds of chatter and laughter escaped from closed shutters.

Old Papa Panov, the village shoemaker, stepped outside his shop to take one last look around. The sounds of happiness, the bright lights and the faint but delicious smells of Christmas cooking reminded him of past Christmas times when his wife had still been alive and his own children little. Now they had gone. His usually cheerful face, with the little laughter wrinkles behind the round steel spectacles, looked sad now. But he went back indoors with a firm step, put up the shutters and set a pot of coffee to heat on the charcoal stove. Then, with a sigh, he settled in his big armchair.

Papa Panov did not often read, but tonight he pulled down the big old family Bible and, slowly tracing the lines with one forefinger, he read again the Christmas story. He read how Mary and Joseph, tired by their journey to Bethlehem, found no room for them at the inn, so that Mary’s little baby was born in the cowshed.
“Oh, dear, oh, dear!” exclaimed Papa Panov, “if only they had come here! I would have given them my bed and I could have covered the baby with my patchwork quilt to keep him warm.”
He read on about the wise men who had come to see the baby Jesus, bringing him splendid gifts. Papa Panov’s face fell. “I have no gift that I could give him,” he thought sadly.

Then his face brightened. He put down the Bible, got up and stretched his long arms t the shelf high up in his little room. He took down a small, dusty box and opened it. Inside was a perfect pair of tiny leather shoes. Papa Panov smiled with satisfaction. Yes, they were as good as he had remembered- the best shoes he had ever made. “I should give him those,” he decided, as he gently put them away and sat down again.

He was feeling tired now, and the further he read the sleeper he became. The print began to dance before his eyes so that he closed them, just for a minute. In no time at all Papa Panov was fast asleep.
And as he slept he dreamed. He dreamed that someone was in his room and he know at once, as one does in dreams, who the person was. It was Jesus.

“You have been wishing that you could see me, Papa Panov.” he said kindly, “then look for me tomorrow. It will be Christmas Day and I will visit you. But look carefully, for I shall not tell you who I am.”

When at last Papa Panov awoke, the bells were ringing out and a thin light was filtering through the shutters. “Bless my soul!” said Papa Panov. “It’s Christmas Day!”
He stood up and stretched himself for he was rather stiff. Then his face filled with happiness as he remembered his dream.

This would be a very special Christmas after all, for Jesus was coming to visit him. How would he look? Would he be a little baby, as at that first Christmas? Would he be a grown man, a carpenter- or the great King that he is, God’s Son? He must watch carefully the whole day through so that he recognized him however he came.

Papa Panov put on a special pot of coffee for his Christmas breakfast, took down the shutters and looked out of the window. The street was deserted, no one was stirring yet. No one except the road sweeper. He looked as miserable and dirty as ever, and well he might! Whoever wanted to work on Christmas Day – and in the raw cold and bitter freezing mist of such a morning?

Papa Panov opened the shop door, letting in a thin stream of cold air. “Come in!” he shouted across the street cheerily. “Come in and have some hot coffee to keep out the cold!”
The sweeper looked up, scarcely able to believe his ears. He was only too glad to put down his broom and come into the warm room. His old clothes steamed gently in the heat of the stove and he clasped both red hands round the comforting warm mug as he drank.
Papa Panov watched him with satisfaction, but every now and them his eyes strayed to the window. It would never do to miss his special visitor.
“Expecting someone?” the sweeper asked at last. So Papa Panov told him about his dream.
“Well, I hope he comes,” the sweeper said, “you’ve given me a bit of Christmas cheer I never expected to have. I’d say you deserve to have your dream come true.” And he actually smiled.

When he had gone, Papa Panov put on cabbage soup for his dinner, then went to the door again, scanning the street. He saw no one. But he was mistaken. Someone was coming.
The girl walked so slowly and quietly, hugging the walls of shops and houses, that it was a while before he noticed her. She looked very tired and she was carrying something. As she drew nearer he could see that it was a baby, wrapped in a thin shawl. There was such sadness in her face and in the pinched little face of the baby, that Papa Panov’s heart went out to them.
“Won’t you come in,” he called, stepping outside to meet them. “You both need a warm by the fire and a rest.”

The young mother let him shepherd her indoors and to the comfort of the armchair. She gave a big sigh of relief.
“I’ll warm some milk for the baby,” Papa Panov said, “I’ve had children of my own- I can feed her for you.” He took the milk from the stove and carefully fed the baby from a spoon, warming her tiny feet by the stove at the same time.
“She needs shoes,” the cobbler said.
But the girl replied, “I can’t afford shoes, I’ve got no husband to bring home money. I’m on my way to the next village to get work.”

A sudden thought flashed through Papa Panov’s mind. He remembered the little shoes he had looked at last night. But he had been keeping those for Jesus. He looked again at the cold little feet and made up his mind.

“Try these on her,” he said, handing the baby and the shoes to the mother. The beautiful little shoes were a perfect fit. The girl smiled happily and the baby gurgled with pleasure.

“You have been so kind to us,” the girl said, when she got up with her baby to go. “May all your Christmas wishes come true!”

But Papa Panov was beginning to wonder if his very special Christmas wish would come true. Perhaps he had missed his visitor? He looked anxiously up and down the street. There were plenty of people about but they were all faces that he recognized. There were neighbors going to call on their families. They nodded and smiled and wished him Happy Christmas! Or beggars- and Papa Panov hurried indoors to fetch them hot soup and a generous hunk of bread, hurrying out again in case he missed the Important Stranger.

All too soon the winter dusk fell. When Papa Panov next went to the door and strained his eyes, he could no longer make out the passers-by. most were home and indoors by now anyway. He walked slowly back into his room at last, put up the shutters, and sat down wearily in his armchair.

So it had been just a dream after all. Jesus had not come.

Then all at once he knew that he was no longer alone in the room.
This was not adream for he was wide awake.
At first he seemed to see before his eyes the long stream of people who had come to him that day.
He saw again the old road sweeper, the young mother and her baby and the beggars he had fed. As they passed, each whispered, “Didn’t you see me, Papa Panov?”

“Who are you?” he called out, bewildered.

Then another voice answered him. It was the voice from his dream- the voice of Jesus.

“I was hungry and you fed me,” he said. “I was naked and you clothed me. I was cold and you warmed me. I came to you today in everyone of those you helped and welcomed.”

Then all was quiet and still. Only the sound of the big clock ticking. A great peace and happiness seemed to fill the room, overflowing Papa Panov’s heart until he wanted to burst out singing and laughing and dancing with joy.

“So he did come after all!” was all that he said.

[Five Minute Friday] Prepare

This month I am doing a series on Advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas. You can find more info on the series here. Come and join us for a month of getting ready and waiting!

But it’s also Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung. Join our writing party here!

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Prepare.

I suppose this word sums up what we do during Advent.

We wait for Christmas, the birth of our savior.

And we prepare. Get everything ready.

Clean the house.

Plan the Christmas Eve meal.

Buy presents and wrap them.

Write Christmas cards.

“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;

make straight in the desert a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be lifted up,

and every mountain and hill be made low;

the uneven ground shall become level,

and the rough places a plain.”

Isaiah 40:3&4

The bible calls us to prepare. The Lord himself told the Israelites to prepare.

Make way for the Lord.

Prepare yourselves and everything around you because I’m coming.

So how does preparation look like back then and today?

Are we really prepared when Christmas comes or are we simply exhausted from preparing?

It is quite a big job to do to prepare for the Lord’s coming.

After years of struggle and exile and ‘punishment’ from the Lord he wants to return.

To be with them again. How do you get ready for that?

The bible speaks of making a road in the wilderness and making the hills flat.

Wow, that’s not easy.

Getting ourselves ready for Christmas can be hard, too.

To get your heart in the right place.

To establish a welcoming atmosphere and nurture an expectant spirit in the midst of Christmas turbulences – that’s really difficult.

But it starts with little things.

Taking steps towards a bigger thing.

Making a road in the wilderness, as long and dry as it may be.

Working on one hill at a time.

Practical preparation can help us with the spiritual preparation.

For me, Advent begins when we light the first candle at home and when we start baking Christmas cookies.

It might be in the middle of the week, in the midst of work and other challenges.

But the moment you put on that Christmas cassette (yes, cassette!) and roll out the dough – this is when Advent begins.

It is my first step towards Christmas.

It would be a shame not to share some of these sweet cookie outcomes…soon.

But before that I would like to hear from you: When does Advent start for you?

How do you prepare for Christmas?

[Five Minute Friday] Dear

This month I am doing a series on Advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas. You can find more info on the series here. Come and join us for a month of getting ready and waiting!

But it’s also Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung and many other fabulous writers. Come and join us!

For Advent, there’s another link-up over at Story and Table, hosted by Laura. If you’re interested in more Advent stories, click here.

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It’s that time of the year again.

Christmas is approaching soon and fast, so you need to get your presents and cards all set. My family always used to have wishlists we would hang up on the refrigerator.

Oh, what joy it was as children to scribble down all your wishes! And even greater joy when you found many of these things under the tree on Christmas Day.

We still do wishlists and I found it interesting to think a bit how they’ve changed with the years.

Dolls turned into books. Toys turned into clothes or perfume.

But overall, it has become more difficult each year to sit down and write my wishes.

What do I want for Christmas?

What do you want for Christmas?

We never really wrote letters to Santa, but how about writing a grown-up Christmas wish list?

Dear Santa,

When I look inside my heart I see longings.

Lots of longings.

I wish for deep joy that would not depend on what happens.

I wish for justice in this world.

Reconciliation and true peace.

I wish for the end of hunger and starvation.

The end of slavery and prostitution.

Freedom instead of human trafficking.

I wish for close friends who stay and don’t always leave.

I wish for honesty and growth.

I wish for security and safety in my life.

And in this world.

I wish to know where my path will lead and what my future will look like.

That’s a lot.

And as a I think about it I realize a “Dear Santa” won’t do it.

This isn’t just a Christmas wish list.

This is supposed to be a yearning turned into prayer.

Confession.

Intercession.

A wish list addressed to the One who sees everything, is in everything, and whose heart longs for these things probably as much as we do.

Not just on Christmas, but all year-round.

Dear Lord,

you know my heart that is so full of longings.

Ultimately, these longings point to you, the One who can fulfill all these longings.

Let Christmas come this year to the hungry, the suffering, the poor.

And let us trust you a bit more with this world and our lives.

[Five Minute Friday] Give

I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner for my family yesterday.
For the first time.
In Germany we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, but I enjoyed this tradition in the States, so I brought it over and thought my family would like it, too.

We should have Thanksgiving more often.

As I was standing in the kitchen almost all day I was really looking forward to the evening.
Eating lots of good food and spending time with family.
I didn’t look at all the work.
I didn’t look at all the time and energy I invested.
I was happy and excited to give.
Seeing their happy faces and hearing their “O my gosh, this is such good food! We should have Thanksgiving more often!” I was glad.
Giving can be so rewarding.

The thought that crossed my mind several times was, “We should invite more people.”
Not only is it good food, there’s something about sharing meals and fellowship you can’t really explain. It is a gift we accept and give not often enough.
Even though this world is in such desperate need of it.

While I was cooking I was reminded of a story in the bible.
A man prepares a big feast but none of his invited guests shows up.
Instead of pouting he goes and invites people from the streets. Strangers. People who really needed and enjoyed a good meal. People who made this feast a most memorable moment and probably turning point in this man’s life.

And if my table and hands are full – where are the people on the streets I can invite and give to?
Where is the lonely neighbor that might enjoy a night of fellowship?
Where is the stressed out mother that could really use a day off?
Where is the friend that needs cheering up in the form of turkey and apple pie?

Let’s be grateful that we can give.
It doesn’t take much to turn someone’s day around or make it better.
We have been given more than enough, and only if we give to others we realize the true joy of it.

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I am linking up with Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday today. Five Minutes of Writing. No Editing. Much sharing and encouraging.

[Five Minute Friday] Notice

I have a hobby I don’t always take the time for.
But when I do it, it’s always very fulfilling and interesting.
I like to watch people.
After a full day of shopping or just running around town, it feels good to sit down, have a cup of coffee, and just watch people.
The other day I met with a friend and we sat there for about two hours just watching.

We were in a new city, but even if you are in your own town you’ll notice so many things.
There are so many people on the streets you’ve never seen before.
Every day you walk these streets, and yet you’ll never be able to have seen everyone in this town!

There are single people. Couples walking hand in hand.
Wives dragging along their husbands into yet another shop.
There are children window shopping for toys and candy.
There are senior couples taking it slow.
There are three old ladies who enjoy a night out in town as if they were just 22 years old (these three seriously made me laugh and hope I will be like this one day!).

You notice so many things around you if you take the time to stand still for a while.
Each of these people has a story, a life behind this moment I get a glimpse of.
I am overwhelmed by seeing everyone.
Trying to figure out how they live, what brought them here today, how they might feel.

And then I am reminded of my heavenly Father who says of himself that he notices everything and everyone.
He sees more than a glimpse.
He sees your whole life, your deepest feelings, the full story.
And YOUR story matters to Him.

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It’s Friday, so I am linking up with a great group of writers over at Kate Motaung‘s place. Come on over and read some more inspirational thoughts!

[Five Minute Friday] Still

Do you hear that?
Nothing.
Silence.
Stillness.

This week has been somewhat strange.
After an immensely busy year it is the first time I paused.
After a year of studying I could wake up in the morning and do nothing. Or whatever I wanted.
Well, I got sick. Back pain kept me in bed for most of the week and I was forced to rest.
To be still.
And I realized I am really bad at it.

The thing I had yearned for was finally here.
That feeling I had looked forward to all year whenever things were just too much for me: “Soon you’ll be off and can be still”. Well, here it is.
And I don’t know how to handle it.
I am actually quite afraid of it.

I am between wanting and not wanting.
So wanting to get out of my busy life, away from the voices and tasks and things thrown at me.
Shutting off the sounds that make it impossible for me to hear what’s really important.
Being attentive to God’s whisper once again.
So anxious of really being still.
Cutting everything off and being left with…nothing.
Afraid that the stillness will not lead to something.
That God won’t show up.
That I am not willing to go far enough.

It is a challenge to be still.
It is hard to really seek stillness.
And yet I think we sometimes need to let go of the not wanting and walk towards the wanting.
Cut off some of the noise and expect HIM to come out of the stillness.
Because if I am still, really still, I can hear him calling.
Can you hear it, too?

(I am off for two months now before student teaching begins, and I am looking forward – with an incredibly anxious and wanting heart – to a time of rest and stillness. I don’t know what will happen, but I definitely want to try and listen to the call.)

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Once again I am linking up with a fabulous writer community over at Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday – come and join us!

[Five Minute Friday] Turn

I love driving.
Cruising on African sand roads and navigating the potholes is one of the most exhilarating experiences in life.
Sometimes, though, driving can be nerve wrecking. Like driving through a city you’ve never been to. With a car full of people and everyone seems to have an opinion on “don’t drive too fast”, “I think we should stop here”, or “look out for the traffic lights”. And then of course, there’s the GPS which has a mind of its own.

Far too quickly I get lost, take the wrong turn and don’t know where I am anymore.
Generally, I have a very good sense of orientation and like to guide people.
Driving and navigating in busy traffic at the same time is really hard. So when I get stuck I need to park somewhere, shut off the engine, figure out where I am and start over.

Sometimes life is like driving.
Every new day is a trip into the unknown, we don’t know the “life city” with all its roads ahead of us. We might have a general road map, but this can change at any minute.
There will be construction sites – things we need to work on which slow us down.
There might be potholes – broken things in our life that get to us again and again.
Or traffic jams – voices all around us, telling us what to do and what not, trying to push us in a certain direction…
We try to get through, we try to navigate this madness called life, but very often we are confused.
We take the wrong turn. And we’re lost.

I have taken quite a few wrong turns in life.
And that’s okay. Life’s not meant to be one straight path.
There will be turns and curves, hills and speeding lanes.
When life gets too busy, when I am lost in traffic or have just taken a wrong turn I stop.
I remember what this “drive” is all about.
I turn towards the One with the master plan, who calms all the other voices and brings peace to my troubled soul.
No matter how many wrong turns I take, He takes them with me, and his grace will lead me home.

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It’s Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a great community of writers from all around the world. One prompt, five minutes of writing, no editing. Why don’t you join us?

That time I participated in a blogging challenge…

If you’re used to getting a daily email from me last month you might have realized that it was a bit quiet around here for a week. I needed a break after blogging every day in October.
At first I didn’t even want to participate in this #write31days challenge. I had experienced how friends had struggled last year, how it had ‘ruined’ their passion for writing, how time consuming it was. I was in the middle of my state board exams (meaning: studying every day for the most important exam in your career) and October was just a busy month with birthdays, weddings, travels…no way I would have time for elaborate blogging.
But when Kate Motaung put out her prompt words for “31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes” I couldn’t resist. These words just started speaking to my TCK heart and stories, thoughts, ideas came to my mind. And so they ended up in this space.

It’s been an experience, and I thought I would share a few of the lessons I’ve learned from it. I’ll also share some of the blogs I’ve discovered during this challenge, which might be a good read for you, too!

No matter how busy you are, you need a creative outlet!
After a long day with my books and notes it was a really good distraction to put some thoughts on paper. Completely different topics and writing style. Some days were hard and I needed to challenge myself to put thoughts into words, other days were fun and my hands seemed to be dancing on the keyboard. Writing needs time and practice, and these 31 days definitely helped me to get some more flow in my writing.

Blogging is a lot of work.
Luckily I had about two weeks before the challenge started so I pre-wrote some posts already. Coming up with a topic and complete post everyday that fits into an overall series can be really hard sometimes. The challenge offered me a bit of a ‘behind-the-scenes’ view of the blogging world. What does it mean to have a monthly outline for your topic? Who do I link up with? What about graphics, pictures, layout? Suddenly a few written lines of a post turn into a piece of work before you hit ‘publish’. A published post is only the beginning, afterwards there are comments and questions and answers. And then obviously there are thousands of blogs out there you could read. Which ones do you pick? Some of the work I enjoyed, some made me question the concepts behind it.

How much work does it really take?
In the last few years the blogosphere seems to have exploded; everyone can write about almost everything in any space of the internet. I really enjoyed reading a lot of great posts this month, hosted in beautifully created spaces of the web, crafted with powerful words and images. But what does it take to have a blog with good traffic and readers? Simply a good layout? Relevant topics? Pinnable images and tweetable quotes?
I was a bit overwhelmed at all the “advice” other bloggers gave to increase the numbers of readers, turn your blog into a business or book and many other topics. Is it really all about self-advertisement? Do I want to sell myself in this little space I call mine?
These questions lead me back to my motivation for doing all this. Why do I write in the first place and who do I write for?
I don’t want to write for statistics, likes, or tweets. This is not a business with a product called ME. What I want to take away from this challenge is my hope to stay true to myself.
Not losing my voice in numbers of visitors, positive or negative comments, facebook pages, tweets and likes. Instead, what I want to put on paper are my passions, things I struggle with, wonder about. Unfinished thoughts, open questions, lessons learned. They might speak to you in the situation you’re in at the moment. They might say nothing at all to you right now. That’s okay. I am absolutely grateful for everyone who’s been reading along – thank you for all your comments, input, and encouragement! I hope you’ll continue this journey with me, as shaky as it might be…

There’s a blogger community out there!
I’ve linked up with other bloggers before, but this challenge really made me aware of so many amazing writers out there! I had the privilege to have some friends and fellow bloggers join me on my own blog, and I was so blessed by their words, experiences, and wisdom. In case you missed them, please go back and read their work!
Johann shared a poem he wrote on the TCK identity question, Daniel wrote about fears, Katrin contributed a poem about God in the midst of TCK life, Wera did a series on TCKs and restlessness, Rachel told us about her struggles with joining in, and Marilyn gave us an insight on returning to your host country. All of them have fantastic voices and I hope you enjoy their writings!
In the middle of studying and blogging I didn’t have much time to read many of the other bloggers’ works that participated in the challenge, too. Nearly 1600 people joined and wrote about all kinds of topics, ranging from devotions to travel secrets to pumpkin recipes. We all connected on Facebook, and it was good to receive encouragement when things got tough. Plus, I got to discover some amazing writers I wouldn’t have found otherwise! I tried to read a variety of things, but it wasn’t easy to keep up with everything and there are still about a hundred posts in my reader waiting for me. I did however choose to read a few series every day, and I am glad I did!

Here are a few of my picks…

…Kate Motaung: the host of Five Minute Friday wrote on her life in South Africa, which was like homecoming for me. So many stories to relate to and so much to laugh about!

…Liz von Ehrenkrook: We had briefly connected before, but her series really challenged me! She wrote on 31 Days of Breaking Religion, questioning why we believe what we believe and what faith is all about. We had some great discussions and I am so glad we “met”!

…Shelly Miller: Shelly shares the story of her family moving to London, including all the delays, open questions and life’s beauty in between. She has a talent of putting things into beautiful words which often spoke to me. Shelly also hosts “The Sabbath Society” and her emails on Fridays are perfect to start off Sabbath (whatever day you decide to take it).

…Christy Campbell: Christy is a traveler and her series was all about secrets to more adventures in life. Some really great advice in there and even better stories! I am also featured with a guest post.

…Renee Emerson: I am not even close to finishing this series, but the start was so good! Renee and Brian write about writing as an act of worship. Lots of good input and some great practical exercises. Definitely want to continue reading!

…Kristin@theincrediblek: Kristin had 31 days of encouragement on her blog, and even though I haven’t read all of them yet they are really good! Many stories and practical ideas to encourage other people and change your own life on the go.

I hope you have some time to check them out!
31 Days are over but blogging isn’t, and I will continue writing. Not every day, but whenever I feel I need processing…:) So stay tuned for more thoughts soon!

[Five Minute Friday] Leave

It’s the last Friday of October and as usual, I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a fantastic writer community. It’s also the last day of October, which means it’s Day 31 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! You made it to the end, yay! If you’re just starting now, you can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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We went to see the animals at Lake Victoria.

We went to sit at the beach.

We went for dinner at a nearby hotel.

It all seemed unreal. Our last day in Uganda.

And finally, finally we went to the airport.

I watched my parents check us in, drop off our luggage, say goodbye to friends and teammates. And then we walked down to the gates.

I felt like in a trance.

This was happening, but not to me.

We were just dropping someone off and tonight I would sleep in my bed in our house in beautiful Namutamba and everything would be alright.

It was already dark outside when we walked onto the airfield and towards the plane.

The tender summer breeze brought the smell from the Lake and you could see the lights glitter on the water’s surface.

We boarded the plane, had layovers in Nairobi and Amsterdam, and then we were home.

Really?

I didn’t realize what had happened to me until a week later.

I asked my mom when we’d be going back, but she said, “We’re not going back.

We will stay here now.”

That’s when it hit me.

I had really left.

And I hadn’t even said goodbye.

I am not a cryer normally. Which doesn’t mean I am not sad.

But now I cried.

For all the friends I hadn’t hugged one last time.

For my best friend who I had left the day before as if I didn’t know we wouldn’t meet again the next day.

For the village I had called my home.

For all the memories I had made there and would never be able to repeat.

For the piece of my heart I had left in the Pearl of Africa, Uganda.

I have had to leave quite a few other places since then.

My family, South Africa, my teenage years, the US, university.

Familiar faces, cozy houses, a certain lifestyle.

Dreams of how my life should look like, dear relationships, broken hopes.

I’m sure if you added your losses we’d get an entire novel together.

Make sure you say goodbye.

You never know if you’ll have the chance again.
Make sure you cry.

Crying is a way to cleanse the soul and I have come to appreciate my tears sometimes. After the tears have ceased, another feeling wells up inside of me: thankfulness.

My heart is overwhelmed with deep gratitude.

For the beautiful places I got to live in.

For the amazing people I had the privilege of meeting and who continue to be in my life. For the sweet memories I could make and can now hold on to.

For God, who continues to walk with me and already knows where I’m heading to next.

Well, and now I am leaving this series.

It’s been a great month and I’ll surely reflect a bit about it after I had a short blogging break. 🙂

THANK YOU for staying with me on this journey, for your comments and thoughts, all your encouragement!

I am leaving you with hopefully a lot of impressions, things to ponder, and the wish to embrace your TCK life a bit more…

What did you learn in the course of this series?