Five Minute Friday

[Five Minute Friday] Weary

I had it coming for a while now.
Too many weeks of running around, stressing out about all the things I had to do.
Too many days of not enough sleep, quick lunches or no food at all.
Too many hours of sitting at the computer, planning and worrying.
Too often the feeling of being overwhelmed, wondering how I could manage it all.
It started with a soft itching in my throat. Then a running nose. Then a feeling of heaviness in my legs. Now I am writing this from my bed, lying down with the flu.

I am weary. And sick.

I guess we all know this feeling of everything being simply too much.
We work too many hours because something just has to be done.
We don’t take time to relax, to really enjoy a meal.
We take chances and keep on working even though our bed’s calling for us. Sure we can survive on little sleep, but we shouldn’t have to.
We push everyone away because we’re so buried in work and worry.
We are weary, but we won’t admit it.

A few weeks ago I complained to my roommate how everything was just too much and I didn’t know where to start anymore.
She said, “You do know you’re allowed to say NO?”
My head knows, but my heart needs to know it, too.
My hands needs to release the task I hold on to so firmly and relax.
My mind needs to let go of the thought it keeps mulling over and shut down for a while. My spirit needs to stop worrying and come to rest.
My lips need to muster up the courage and say the redemptive words:
Stop.
No.
I am weary.
I need help.

If you’re weary this week, pause for a moment.
Allow yourself to rest a bit.
Your self does not depend on what you do.
Reach out for rest.
Reach out for help.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

[Five Minute Friday] Dance

A few years ago I finally took my first ballroom dance lessons.
My roommate had nagged me about it for years, “You have to go, it’ll make you happy.” But I always found some excuse. Sure, I wanted to learn to dance, but I just never found the time or inspiration.

I came home after the first lesson and something was different.
My feet hurt and my hips weren’t used to the steps yet, but I was elated.
My spirits soared and I couldn’t stop smiling.
I felt like being high.
This feeling hasn’t changed ever since, dancing is such a wonderful experience.
It releases a joy and freedom inside of you that you never knew you had in you.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a dance partner at the moment and way too little time to dance often. But I often dream about it.
I wish there was more dance in my life.
Not just the steps and movements, but the elatedness that comes from it.
The easiness with which your feet touch the ground and move around.
It makes you feel light, as if you could anything.
The high spirits and deep joy that make something inside of you come alive.
Some hidden freedom that needed to be released.
The freedom to just be, to just do – because you feel like it.
The freedom to not care about how you look or what others would say about you.
The courage you get to try out new steps and create new beauty.
The little twitchings in your feet that make you want to dance everywhere.

I wish there was more dance in all our lives.
More of that freedom to be and do.
More of that releasing power.
More of that joy and hope.
More of that life.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

[#write31days] Day 30 Bacon

Welcome to Day 30 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
———————————–

Well, it’s the last Friday in October and once more we gather at Kate Motaung‘s place to write on a prompt. For this month all the prompts were voted by the bloggers themselves. If you’ve never read anyone else’s writing in this challenge, you’ve missed out on funny, inspiring, and encouraging people!
So it is no surprise that for this challenge they would vote the prompt BACON.

In the light of the latest findings that meat consumption causes cancer I don’t really feel comfortable writing about my ‘affinity’ for bacon.
I don’t eat it often, but sometimes I have this craving.

Smelling freshly cooked bacon takes me right back to sweet memories.
Like the many birthdays when we would cook bacon as a treat. My mom would put the bacon in the pan, turn up the heat. And leave. A few minutes later you would find all of us at the breakfast table eating crumpled, slightly burned pieces of meat and Mom going, “I don’t really know what happened here, guys.”
Like that one time when I spent a weekend with friends in Raleigh, NC and they wanted to introduce the German to the art of bacon cooking. It took a while, but now I know and actually enjoy cooking it. Whenever I smell bacon in my kitchen I immediately remember this fun weekend.
Like that one time about two years later with the same people in the same place. We hadn’t seen each other in two years, but cooking bacon together, stuffing our sandwiches, and pouring some coffee felt as if we hadn’t been apart at all.

I have always been fascinated how memory works.
It often doesn’t take much to trigger a film in our mind.
Smells, objects, sounds are the conduit to our memory and I am glad that they interrupt me in my busyness once in a while.
Then I sit back, let the images flash by before my inner eye, and smile.

What are some of the smells or sounds that trigger your memory?

[#write31days] Day 23 Joy

Welcome to Day 23 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
———————————–

It’s also Friday today, so I am linking up with my friends at Five Minute Friday.

It’s fall. Leaves are turning brown, yellow, and red. The sun shines less often, the sky is often dark and cloudy. Slowly by slowly, it’s getting colder.
People replace their shimmering thin summer clothes with gray or brownish thick coats. They pull out gloves and hats to cover themselves.
Heads vanish under giant hats and caps, faces are bowed low.
Smiles disappear from faces, who would have anything to be happy about in this weather?

It seems like joy is sucked out and in comes grumpiness, haste, worry about what will be tomorrow.

This is what I see around me, this is how I often feel. As soon as it is October I become moodier. Some call it “Winter blues”, others just call it ‘life’.

There will always be times when joy disappears, life just sucks it out of us and we’re left with empty, desperate, needy souls.

Joy doesn’t come easy, but is often found in unexpected places. If we train our hearts and eyes to look for it, we’ll find more joy than we think.

A group of students who enjoyed a lesson and laughed with me.
A text from a friend saying ‘Just thinking about you’.
A care package with delicious foods to get you through a busy week.
A ray of sunlight on a really cloudy day.

A reminder that He is still sovereign and His joy does not depend on mere happenings.

[#write31days] Day 16 Green

Welcome to Day 16 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
———————————–

It’s also Friday today, so I am linking up with my friends at Five Minute Friday.

These last two weeks have been extremely busy for me. Getting up way too early in the morning, running around all day, falling into bed at night, totally exhausted. My work is not physically heavy, yet it takes a lot of energy. Assignments to hand in, lessons to plan, talks with students, meetings with colleagues…there’s not much time left and a casual date with a friend suddenly becomes a big deal.

Isn’t life crazy sometimes?
These weeks when we feel it has ropes tied around us and pulls from all sides at the same time?
We can’t help but feel torn.
And incredibly overwhelmed.
In doubt that we can do it all, that we will ever manage, that we are good enough.

When we are trapped in this ‘prison of busyness’ we need to get out.
No, I don’t mean leave everything behind. Often we can’t change all at once.
But little breaks here and there.
An hour where work is not allowed to bother us.
A nap in the middle of the day to refresh us.
A book that will direct our thoughts to another world.

A walk in the woods, leaving the confinements of our own four walls and experiencing the vast beauty of nature. Breaking out of our small headspace to discover there’s so much more. Exchanging the dull gray colors of our daily lives for a whole array of green, yellow, and orange. Woods in the fall are magnificent!
Whenever I take a walk there, things suddenly fall into place.
I look at the trees and they seem to be telling me, “Don’t worry about today or tomorrow. We have been here long before yesterday, we’ve seen it all. And yet we are still here. And so will you.”
Taking a break doesn’t have to be much.
Just do something to expand your view and redirect your focus to the really important things from time to time.

[#write31days] Day 9 Trust

Welcome to Day 9 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
———————————–

It’s also Friday today, so I am linking up with my friends at Five Minute Friday.

I am afraid of heights. Climbing mountains is somewhat okay, the spectacular view from the top normally pays for the terror beforehand.
But as soon as I leave solid ground behind and all I have is a rope and an instructor yelling not-at-all-encouraging mantras after me, I panic. I don’t trust him that everything will be okay, that the rope will really hold me, that my strength will be enough, that the view is really worth it. So I stay on the ground and watch others climb.

Why do we have such a hard time setting boundaries?
This week we will talk a bit more about the lies that keep us from setting boundaries. But I think what it often comes down to is trust.
We don’t trust that the money we earn will ever be enough, so we continue to work even though we are completely exhausted.
We dont trust that our friends will still love us even if we are weak at the moment and have nothing to give, so we continue to pour from an empty heart until we’re completely dry.
We don’t trust that God is really good and has good intentions for our lives, so we continue to let worry eat away our soul and rather fix things ourselves than enjoying perfect peace.
We don’t trust ourselves, our strengths and talents, so we keep on chasing the wind and never get to experience the beauty of being in the right place.

Trust is not easy, it doesn’t happen in a day.
But the process starts with a little decision.
Every day.
It begins with an “I trust you” to the One who’s always trustworthy.
He’ll take you on a wonderful journey, trust me.

[#write31days] Day 2 Family

Welcome to Day 2 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
———————————–

It’s also Friday today, so I am linking up with my friends at Five Minute Friday.

When I hear family I used to think of the four other people who know me best.
Memories of my childhood coming to life before my inner eye.
Long debates and arguments. Of closing my door and hoping they would start fighting soon. Feelings of loneliness and despair.

Happy memories. Having breakfast together on a Saturday morning and talking until lunchtime.
Sitting crammed into one hotel room in the middle of nowhere in South Africa eating toast and peanut butter. We are exhausted from the long drive, but yet we break into a laugh because the whole thing is just too hilarious.
Lying on the floor holding my aching tummy. My sister next to me, in the same condition. My brother next to us, telling us more and more jokes in funny accents which makes us laugh even harder.

These people are my family. It was us five against the world.

A few months ago, this image has changed.

Friends of mine had a baby. They had been through a few rough patches before and seeing this baby for the first time was a miracle.
A few weeks later there was a card in my mailbox, asking “Will you be his Godmother?”
I was incredibly happy but also very much surprised.
Why did you pick me? Isn’t that normally something that family does?
The answer came back loud and clear.
“You are family, didn’t you know that?”

Well, now I do.
When I think of family now I see a much larger group of people.
Family is wherever people are willing to share their lives, with all its joys and messiness. Where we are allowed to just be and don’t have to clean up.
Where we are allowed to ask questions and don’t always have to answer, a place where we can think out loud.

Dealing with family and friends is often hard and sometimes we need to set boundaries. This is what the series is all about.
But before we dig deeper, take a moment and think about your family.
Who are the people God has placed around you? Your brothers and sisters, your friends? Where is the place that allows you to be yourself? Before you start complaining, be grateful for them.

[Five Minute Friday] Doubt

I must confess I doubt. A lot.
It seems that doubt is normally associated with negative terms, something you’re not supposed to do, especially as a Christian.
And yet I doubt. I ask questions. I wonder.
I doubt that the day will be sunny when the morning looks really dark and cloudy.
I doubt that a friendship will get back on track.
I doubt people’s genuineness sometimes.
I doubt my own abilities when tasks just seem too demanding and overwhelming.
I doubt that dire situations will ever come to an end.
I see friends and family struggle, yes even battle with life, and all I can ask is Why?
I wonder about things going on in this world – war, loss, flight, hunger, poverty – and I can’t help but doubt that there is a good, big plan behind it.
I doubt if all of this will work out in the end.

I guess we all carry doubts with us.
These unanswered questions lingering in the back of our minds, creeping up once in a while.

I think it’s okay to doubt.
We grow when we wonder, when we ask questions.
When we don’t just accept things as given, but always strive to go deeper.

In the end its all about what we do with our doubts.
If we just settle in the status quo of unanswered questions or if we take action.
If we take our questions and doubts somewhere.
To someone.
The realist says, “I doubt this will work so I won’t attempt it.”
The fideist says,”I have doubts, yes. But I also have faith in someone bigger and stronger, and more omniscient than I could ever be. Someone who says ‘with me nothing is impossible’. So let’s try.”

What are some of your doubts and what do you do with them?

—————————-
It’s Friday and I am writing with many other writers over at Five Minute Friday. Come and join us?

[Five Minute Friday] Celebrate

It is Friday. Finally. This has definitely been a long week.

A week of firsts.

The first time I walked into a room of students and introduced myself as their teacher. Not the intern, the teacher.

The first time I made my own rules and people actually listened.

The first time I walked out of a bad lesson and had no other teacher to blame but me.

One day was particularly frustrating and I carried that negative undertone with me all day. What had happened? Nothing much actually, but I had allowed minor things or the minority of a really good class to get to me.

It’s so easy to let one dark spot overshadow the bright whole, isn’t it?

And yet it’s so human.

We tend to look for mistakes instead of success.

We tend to linger on our weaknesses instead of maximizing our strengths.

We tend to complain about our lack instead of enjoying the abundance we already live in. We tend to mourn instead of celebrating.

Over the last year I’ve gone back again and again to a song called “The Art of Celebration”.

It really is an art.

To celebrate no matter the circumstances.

And I am not talking about making merry and singing cheerful songs when all you want to do is cry. I am talking about singing after all, no matter how feeble the sound.

Your voice might quiver and break, but you keep on singing.

Your eyes might tear up, but you keep on looking out for the little blessings all around you. The good potential in everyone that sometimes takes a bit more time to uncover.

The energy and strength that comes from simple activities like a restful Sunday, a cup of good coffee, a few pages of a good book, a chat with a friend.

The belief that the sun is still there even though you can’t see it through the thick dark clouds.

Celebration is an art. Let’s practice it a bit more every day.

Celebrating with writing friends at Five Minute Friday today.

[Five Minute Friday] Same

Last week I was in Lisbon.
We walked up the old cobblestone streets and marvelled at the view over this old and colorful city. We enjoyed good food and great company. We explored a bit more of Lisbon’s rich history.

One day we spent at a monastery and its church.
As I was sitting in a bench enjoying the quiet peaceful atmosphere I noticed a girl. She walked through the room quite fast, her view fixed forward.
In her hand she held a phone which she pointed at the statues and the decor around her. The red ‘record’ button shone brightly in the dimly light nave.
She was there, in this beautiful old building, but yet she wasn’t.
She looked at architecture and painted windows, and yet she didn’t.
She rushed by as if everything was the same.
Instead of taking in the details, instead of collecting impressions she collected a quick recording, a mere snapshot on a phone which will never, ever match reality.

As I saw this girl racing by with her phone on record and no time to take in the real beauty in front of her, I had to think.
Don’t we sometimes have the same attitude?
We visit a new city and try to document as much as possible.
Every meal, every moment of happiness must be instagrammed before we might enjoy it.
We meet up with friends for coffee, but often we’re both on a run, so fellowship better happen fast.
We gather for church on Sundays, but the service can’t take more than two hours because everyone wants to get home for lunch on time.
We are here, in this life, and yet we are not. We rush by as if everything was the same.

Let’s break out of this ‘same’ box.
Let’s step down from the treadmill this life often has us on and actually…live.
Let’s not put an end to a coffee date, just enjoy the time you have. Focus on the details, discover that your friend will never be the same like someone else.
Let’s travel and not be rushed. Cross off a few sights on your list and rather watch a city’s people. Learn a building’s history and take in the beauty which is often hidden in small things. Decide to not take pictures with your camera, but with your heart.
Let’s enjoy Sundays again and experience what happens when we truly wait for the Lord.
Let’s be here.
Let’s collect moments, not things.

————————————-

Linking up with Five Minute Friday today.