Katha von Dessien

[Five Minute Friday] Grateful

A friend once told me about this little ‘experiment’: Take a couple of beans and put them in your left pocket in the morning. Whenever you experience something to be grateful for throughout the day, put a bean in your right pocket. At the end of the day, empty the right pocket and count your beans.

Count your blessings and be grateful for all these little things you could experience.

I must admit I have done this maybe twice, but way too often I forget about it.

Not only to take the beans along, but also the kind of view I have on my day.

What am I looking at?

The pile of work in front of me?

The many appointments in my calendar?

The people who challenge me every day?

Or do I have time, energy and the right set of eyes to see the many little blessings in between?

A comfortable bed I can rest in from the day.

The invention of sleep (that’s definitely a good one, God!).

The smell of coffee in the morning.

The sound of birds singing outside my window.

Meeting a friend unexpectedly in the bus and we encourage each other for the day quickly.

The right song at the right time.

The immensity of food in the grocery store, and the blessing/curse for me to choose what I want to eat today.

My family and friends around the world, who send their love via email, phone, text, or visit.

Look around you. What do you see?

Watch out for the little things, because those are the ones that hide the greatest blessings.

Let’s count them and practice to be a little bit more grateful today.

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I’m often grateful for the Internet because it gives me a chance to get in touch with so many of you, and I can share with fellow writers on Lisa-Jo Baker‘s Five Minute Friday!

[Five Minute Friday] Mess

Imagine a glass or a porcelain cup.
Beautiful shape, maybe some carvings on the outside.
Smooth surface and precious material.
It’s really great to touch or use.

But something is missing.
There is no light in this cup.

If you’d put a candle in the glass you wouldn’t see much through the perfectly firm surface. No matter how beautiful the outside looks, it doesn’t reflect the inside.

Imagine this glass or cup falling off the table.
Shattering into thousands of little pieces.
Beauty spread across the floor, into corners, turned into dust.

But do you see the hand that gathers the pieces?
The eyes that carefully search for even the last piece, no matter how far it has fallen?
Do you feel the touch of the master who gently puts the pieces back together?

Look at the glass now.
Imagine the cup being pieced together again.
Its smooth surface is gone, its material looks roughened.
Its original beauty has been replaced by magnificent splendor, coming from the inside.
The light that has been kept inside for so long is now reflected and magnified through the cracks and bruises.

Through the hands of the master a mess can become a canvas to reflect something greater inside.
Do we allow the master to use OUR mess as a canvas to reflect HIS beauty?

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One word. Five minutes of writing. No editing. Sharing with a community of lovely writing fellows. That’s Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker!

[Five Minute Friday] Friend

This week’s prompt comes in handy, since I’ve been meaning to write on this anyway.
This post goes out to the wonderful people who have been such a blessing to me in the last few months! I hope that everyone has such friends or can be one to someone else.

The last few weeks, well actually months, have just been crazy.
Caught between writing my MA thesis, preparing for state board exams, organizing a Europe-wide youth congress, trying to keep up with my different lives all across the globe…life has just been a bit too much.

In times like these you find yourself asking the really tough questions.
You find yourself all alone and wonder if you have any friends at all. After years and years of pouring into and giving to friends – where are these people now? When you’re tired of giving, is there someone who gives to you?

I was between feelings of rage and anger towards friends who probably had no idea how I felt. I wanted people to show up and tell me they care. Tell me that they didn’t expect anything from me except ME.
But then again, I also just wanted to be alone since I didn’t want to burden anyone with my messy self. I felt too embarassed to let anyone into my apartment that looked like a construction site.

These last few week, well actually months, have taught me quite a bit about friends.
I had to let go of some old ties and expectations people would never fulfill.
Don’t chase the appreciation of the wrong people, while you might miss out on all the wonderful people along the way.

Cherish those precious little moments where a friend comes through for you.
When you’re allowed to speak your mind, without any make-up on, in your worst clothes (because you have no energy to do laundry).
When a friend is honest with you and tells you to seriously slow down. To escape from mind traps you’ve set for yourself about having to be busy 24-7.
When a friend doesn’t mind the chaos in your appartment, but comes over for dinner and a massage. When other friends cook for you and distract you with a night of laughter.
When someone doesn’t mind you tears of desperation, but simply comforts you with a hug.
When you can unite in prayers via skype and find comfort in the common bond in Christ, no matter how many miles might separate you.

Hey friend, thank you. Thanks for being you and for allowing me to be me.

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After a short Easter break, I am back on Five Minute Friday – go to Lisa-Jo Baker‘s page to read more encouraging stories!

Guest Blog at Communicating Across Boundaries

Today I am guest blogging over at Communicating Across Boundaries, a wonderful blog about the challenges and blessings of living between cultures, people, faiths…
The current series is called “Finding your niche”- how can TCKs use their experiences in their jobs, relationships etc.? Plenty of great people from all over the world in all kinds of wonderful positions have already contributed, and I am honored to be a part of it!

#She Shares Truth- Joshua 1:8&9

Today I am linking up with #She Reads Truth, a community of women reading the bible together. During Lent we medidate on passages and then share our thoughts on them. You can find more thoughts on the project of #She Shares Truth.

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“This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success.

Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

These powerful verses can be found at the beginning of the book of Joshua. Moses, the great leader of the Israelites through forty years of wandering in the desert, had just died, and now Joshua is the leader. And just as God had spoken to Moses many years ago to annoint, challenge and encourage him – the same way does God now speak to Joshua. He reminds Joshua of the many times Moses could experience godly provision and divine intervention; whatever promises was true then is true now.

And God gives him a very simple instruction that will lead to success: medidate on the word of God. Stay with the book of the law. Joshua, the leader who was expected to speak up and guide his people, is now called to meditate in silence. To think things over, to observe and reflect rather than to speak.

Meditating is a piece of work.

It is so much easier to speak and share and come up with premature conclusions. Oh, there is a time for sharing. There will be a time when we need to speak up and share.

But before that time goes, there is time to medidate.
To observe. To let it sink in.

Joyce Huggett has put it very well when she says that meditation means “to give God’s words the opportunity to penetrate, not just our minds, but our emotions — the places where we hurt — and our will — the place where we make choices and decisions.”

This is not easy. This is a decision we need to make every day.

Do we take some time to spend with the word?

To not just fulfill our duty, but to let it sink in?

Do we let the word of God penetrate the very core of our being?

Meditation is not in vain.

I love how God puts a promise for Joshua right after the challenge he has for him. Meditation and observation will lead to wise decisions and success. I am not saying our lives will be problem-free all the time, but having a solid foundation and guideline in the word of God will make many things in life more bearable, enjoyable and purposeful.

Not all of us might be Joshuas. Not all of us are given the task of conquering an unknown country.

But all of us are called to step up at some point. To take a stand during the day or at some point in our lives. But before we do that we should work below the surface to become “strong, vigorous and VERY courageous” (I love that VERY in verse 9 J).

And we can be sure that just as God promised to be with Joshua on this next part of the journey, he will go with us and will make our foundation we acquired in these quiet moments of meditation prosper.

[Five Minute Friday] Mighty

I must admit that I don’t feel mighty very often.

Sure there are friends I can offer advice to.

Sure there are people listening to me.

Sure there are little tasks I can accomplish by myself and see the difference that I can make. And it feels good to see things change, people being happy or things getting done.

But what about all these times when I feel like I can’t do anything?

When I feel everything I start is doomed to fail?

When it seems I am talking to a wall and no one is listening?

My might is gone. Vanished within seconds.

I am not mighty. I am weak.

On days like this I have to remind myself that being weak is not always a bad place to be in. Being broken can be a blessing.

My weakness makes me reach out to the one who is mighty. Mighty to do anything and change anyone.

Days like these make me look up to him and rejoice in his might rather than boast in my own attempts of being mighty.

He lifts me up in his mighty hands, sets me on his shoulders and allows me a little glimpse of what his might can do for me and others today.

Lord, I am weak today. Will you lift me up?

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Take the prompt, write for five minutes flat. Link up with a community of writers and be encouraged. This is what Lisa Jo Baker‘s Five Minute Friday is all about!

[Five Minute Friday] Joy

I am linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker today on Five Minute Friday. Take the prompt, write for five minutes flat. Link up with a community of fellow writers and experience the joy of sharing!
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Today’s prompt JOY is one of my favorite words.
In this case I like the English language because it offers a variety of meanings for this sentiment.
Unlike German (where you only have one word ‘Freude’) in English you have joy and happiness.

And there’s a difference between these two, I believe.

Happiness might refer to this superficial excitement over fresh flowers, a present, or a quick smile for a friend. But as quickly as it comes over us it can also be gone. As quickly as our circumstances can bring happiness, they can also bring unhappiness. Bad weather, a sad phone call, disappointment.

Happiness often seems to be based on what happens.

Joy, on the other hand, goes much deeper.
It is independent from what happens around us.
It is planted deep inside of us, bringing forth light in the darkest hours, strength in weakness and rejoicing in the midst of tears.

Joy is a fruit of the holy spirit, planted inside of us and growing the more we take care of it.
When it is firmly rooted in our hearts no circumstances in the world can steal our joy.

The question is: What are we going for?
Do we strive for quick happiness, these superficial waves that come and go as quickly as we draw a breath?
Or do we take some time to seek joy, nurture it and experience its fruits especially in times when we need it the most?

Saudade

The attentive readers might have realized that I added a new label on the right: saudade.
It is a Portugese word and describes a feeling that many TCKs might know all too well.
Its definition says that it is a

“a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness.” – In Portugal of 1912, A. F. G. Bell

This feeling of longing for a past home, lost friends or memories of a childhood in a beautiful far-away country can be painful at times, yet so comforting as well.
Ever since I started researching and writing my MA thesis on the topic of nostalgia (the English semi-version of saudade, even though it might not capture the whole meaning) I detect notions of it in myself. Blame it on the TCK past/present/future or the weather or whatever.

My question still remains how I can deal with this aching feeling and longing I have inside of me. Giving in too much doesn’t do any good; it might even hold you back from moving on into the future. Forgetting the past alltogether cannot be the solution either.
How can we remember well, in an uplifting yet not self-destructive way?

I can’t provide a perfect answer, I just wanted to throw some thoughts out and see what y’all come up with.
Do you know the feeling of saudade? What are you most nostalgic about? And how do you deal with it?

One thing I can definitely recommend is a blog I recently discovered. Written by a woman who lived in all kinds of places, raised TCKs, and manages to reflect about her experiences in a great way. She wrote about Saudade, but also other topics. Go check it out!

Aufmerksame Leser haben vielleicht bemerkt, dass ich ein neues Label auf der rechten Seite hinzugefügt habe: saudade.
Das ist ein portugiesisches Wort und beschreibt ein Gefühl, dass viele TCKs wohl gut kennen.
Die Definition sagt, es ist

“ein unbestimmtes und dauerhaftes Verlangen nach etwas, das nicht existieren kann und wird, nach etwas anderem als der Gegenwart; eine Hinwendung zur Vergangenheit oder zur Zukunft; keine aktive Unzufriedenheit oder direkte Traurigkeit, aber doch ein träger, verträumter Wehmut.” (übersetzt aus Portugal 1912, A.F.G.Bell)

Dieses Gefühl des Verlanges nach einem alten Zuhause, verloren geganenen Freunden oder Erinnerungen an eine Kindheit in einem schönen Land weit weg, kann machmal schmerzhaft sein, aber doch so tröstlich zur selben Zeit.
Seitdem ich angefangen habe zu recherchieren und zu schreiben für meine MA Arbeit zum Thema Nostalgie (die dt. Übersetzung von saudade, die aber nur teilweise die gleiche Bedeutung hat), finde ich vieles davon in mir selbst wieder. Vielleicht ist die TCK Vergangenheit/Gegenwart/Zukunft daran schuld, oder das Wetter oder was auch immer.

Meine Frage ist, wie man mit diesem Gefühl in sich umgehen kann. Wenn man ihm zu sehr nachgibt, tut das nicht gut; es kann sogar davon abhalten, vorwärts zu gehen. Die Vergangenheit komplett zu vergessen, kann aber auch nicht die Lösung sein.
Wie können wir uns richtig erinnern, in einer guten, aufbauenden und nicht selbstzerstörerischen Art und Weise?

Ich kann keine perfekte Antwort bieten, ich wollte einfach ein paar Gedanken loswerden. Kennst du das Gefühl von Saudade? Worüber bist du am meisten nostalgisch? Und wie gehst du damit um?
Was ich auf jeden Fall empfehlen kann ist: ein Blog, den ich vor kurzem entdeckt habe. Von einer Frau geschrieben, die schon überall gewohnt hat, TCKs erzogen hat und es schafft, in guter Weise ihre Erfahrungen zu reflektieren. Sie hat auch über Saudade geschrieben und vieles mehr. Schaut mal vorbei!

[Five Minute Friday] Crowd

It’s Friday again- a day I link up with Lisa-Jo Baker and a great crowd of fellow writers. Take the prompt, write for five minutes flat. No editing. No mulling it over. Just share your heart and see what others came up with!
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I love crowds.
Meeting tons of new people, being inspired by their knowledge or the way they live their lives.
Dancing and worshipping with hundreds or thousands is exhilarating, uplifting, fun.
Finding your way through masses of people at conferences, meeting long lost friends or new acquaintances.
Network.
Being impressed by what the world and its people have to offer.
This is what I love about crowds.

Yet. I don’t.

Even though people might call be an extrovert I have to admit that crowds teach me how introvert I actually am.
Crowds make me grow still.
I am overwhelmed by the immensity of people.
I feel lost because I don’t know who to talk to first.
Do I want to talk at all?
Meeting people and listening to story after story, life after life, can be exhausting.
And in the end you go home, with hundreds of new contacts and acquaintances, but not a single new friend.

So forgive me if I have to withdraw at times.
In the midst of a crowd I much rather want to be still, take in the diversity of people.
Marvel at the richness, wisdom and expertise they have to offer.

And most of all, grab a friend and talk. Just one. Or two.
To really talk, not just briefly chat. To dig deeper. To listen to what’s in their hearts.
To understand and to be understood.
No matter how much I love the crowds, I will always treasure the 1-1 more.

[Five Minute Friday] Willing

It’s Friday, so I link up with Lisa-Jo Baker!

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I feel this week’s prompt has a lot to do with last week’s one.
How can I make good and wise choices? And if I made them, how do I carry them out?
The tricky thing behind all this might be: Are we willing? Am I willing?

So I guess most decisions we have to face are often a question of willing.
This word carries the powerful concept of “will” in it – and often we relate that to “who will win in the end”.
It’s judge against defender, kids against their parents, men against their wives, friends against friends.
Who’s willing to go to the end and who will eventually follow the other one.

I love the story of this one fight, or call it argument that a son had with his father a long time ago.
After a few years of ministry and doing all kinds of miracles the son has come to the point where he can’t do it anymore. Especially the next step, going all in by dying on the cross.
They fight, they argue. There’s tears and sweat. But also honesty.
And then this final whisper: Your will shall be done. Your will, father.

I am in a season of life where I need to make a lot of decisions. No, it’s not about what clothes to wear or what song to put on. It’s the real stuff. The life stuff.
And especially then I often detect a clash of wills in myself.
I hear my own will, with all its rational and so logical arguments.
But I also feel an amazing wave of peace flooding my soul when HE whispers his will into my heart. May I learn to follow his will.
And may my heart learn to whisper: Your will shall be done- Your will, father.