Today I am guest blogging over at Communicating Across Boundaries, a wonderful blog about the challenges and blessings of living between cultures, people, faiths…
The current series is called “Finding your niche”- how can TCKs use their experiences in their jobs, relationships etc.? Plenty of great people from all over the world in all kinds of wonderful positions have already contributed, and I am honored to be a part of it!
Read more here!
I am linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker today on Five Minute Friday. Take the prompt, write for five minutes flat. Link up with a community of fellow writers and experience the joy of sharing!
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Today’s prompt JOY is one of my favorite words.
In this case I like the English language because it offers a variety of meanings for this sentiment.
Unlike German (where you only have one word ‘Freude’) in English you have joy and happiness.
And there’s a difference between these two, I believe.
Happiness might refer to this superficial excitement over fresh flowers, a present, or a quick smile for a friend. But as quickly as it comes over us it can also be gone. As quickly as our circumstances can bring happiness, they can also bring unhappiness. Bad weather, a sad phone call, disappointment.
Happiness often seems to be based on what happens.
Joy, on the other hand, goes much deeper.
It is independent from what happens around us.
It is planted deep inside of us, bringing forth light in the darkest hours, strength in weakness and rejoicing in the midst of tears.
Joy is a fruit of the holy spirit, planted inside of us and growing the more we take care of it.
When it is firmly rooted in our hearts no circumstances in the world can steal our joy.
The question is: What are we going for?
Do we strive for quick happiness, these superficial waves that come and go as quickly as we draw a breath?
Or do we take some time to seek joy, nurture it and experience its fruits especially in times when we need it the most?
The attentive readers might have realized that I added a new label on the right: saudade.
It is a Portugese word and describes a feeling that many TCKs might know all too well.
Its definition says that it is a
“a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness.” – In Portugal of 1912, A. F. G. Bell
This feeling of longing for a past home, lost friends or memories of a childhood in a beautiful far-away country can be painful at times, yet so comforting as well.
Ever since I started researching and writing my MA thesis on the topic of nostalgia (the English semi-version of saudade, even though it might not capture the whole meaning) I detect notions of it in myself. Blame it on the TCK past/present/future or the weather or whatever.
My question still remains how I can deal with this aching feeling and longing I have inside of me. Giving in too much doesn’t do any good; it might even hold you back from moving on into the future. Forgetting the past alltogether cannot be the solution either.
How can we remember well, in an uplifting yet not self-destructive way?
I can’t provide a perfect answer, I just wanted to throw some thoughts out and see what y’all come up with.
Do you know the feeling of saudade? What are you most nostalgic about? And how do you deal with it?
One thing I can definitely recommend is a blog I recently discovered. Written by a woman who lived in all kinds of places, raised TCKs, and manages to reflect about her experiences in a great way. She wrote about Saudade, but also other topics. Go check it out!
Aufmerksame Leser haben vielleicht bemerkt, dass ich ein neues Label auf der rechten Seite hinzugefügt habe: saudade.
Das ist ein portugiesisches Wort und beschreibt ein Gefühl, dass viele TCKs wohl gut kennen.
Die Definition sagt, es ist
“ein unbestimmtes und dauerhaftes Verlangen nach etwas, das nicht existieren kann und wird, nach etwas anderem als der Gegenwart; eine Hinwendung zur Vergangenheit oder zur Zukunft; keine aktive Unzufriedenheit oder direkte Traurigkeit, aber doch ein träger, verträumter Wehmut.” (übersetzt aus Portugal 1912, A.F.G.Bell)
Dieses Gefühl des Verlanges nach einem alten Zuhause, verloren geganenen Freunden oder Erinnerungen an eine Kindheit in einem schönen Land weit weg, kann machmal schmerzhaft sein, aber doch so tröstlich zur selben Zeit.
Seitdem ich angefangen habe zu recherchieren und zu schreiben für meine MA Arbeit zum Thema Nostalgie (die dt. Übersetzung von saudade, die aber nur teilweise die gleiche Bedeutung hat), finde ich vieles davon in mir selbst wieder. Vielleicht ist die TCK Vergangenheit/Gegenwart/Zukunft daran schuld, oder das Wetter oder was auch immer.
Meine Frage ist, wie man mit diesem Gefühl in sich umgehen kann. Wenn man ihm zu sehr nachgibt, tut das nicht gut; es kann sogar davon abhalten, vorwärts zu gehen. Die Vergangenheit komplett zu vergessen, kann aber auch nicht die Lösung sein.
Wie können wir uns richtig erinnern, in einer guten, aufbauenden und nicht selbstzerstörerischen Art und Weise?
Ich kann keine perfekte Antwort bieten, ich wollte einfach ein paar Gedanken loswerden. Kennst du das Gefühl von Saudade? Worüber bist du am meisten nostalgisch? Und wie gehst du damit um?
Was ich auf jeden Fall empfehlen kann ist: ein Blog, den ich vor kurzem entdeckt habe. Von einer Frau geschrieben, die schon überall gewohnt hat, TCKs erzogen hat und es schafft, in guter Weise ihre Erfahrungen zu reflektieren. Sie hat auch über Saudade geschrieben und vieles mehr. Schaut mal vorbei!
It’s Friday again- a day I link up with Lisa-Jo Baker and a great crowd of fellow writers. Take the prompt, write for five minutes flat. No editing. No mulling it over. Just share your heart and see what others came up with!
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I love crowds.
Meeting tons of new people, being inspired by their knowledge or the way they live their lives.
Dancing and worshipping with hundreds or thousands is exhilarating, uplifting, fun.
Finding your way through masses of people at conferences, meeting long lost friends or new acquaintances.
Network.
Being impressed by what the world and its people have to offer.
This is what I love about crowds.
Yet. I don’t.
Even though people might call be an extrovert I have to admit that crowds teach me how introvert I actually am.
Crowds make me grow still.
I am overwhelmed by the immensity of people.
I feel lost because I don’t know who to talk to first.
Do I want to talk at all?
Meeting people and listening to story after story, life after life, can be exhausting.
And in the end you go home, with hundreds of new contacts and acquaintances, but not a single new friend.
So forgive me if I have to withdraw at times.
In the midst of a crowd I much rather want to be still, take in the diversity of people.
Marvel at the richness, wisdom and expertise they have to offer.
And most of all, grab a friend and talk. Just one. Or two.
To really talk, not just briefly chat. To dig deeper. To listen to what’s in their hearts.
To understand and to be understood.
No matter how much I love the crowds, I will always treasure the 1-1 more.
It’s Friday, so I link up with Lisa-Jo Baker!
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I feel this week’s prompt has a lot to do with last week’s one.
How can I make good and wise choices? And if I made them, how do I carry them out?
The tricky thing behind all this might be: Are we willing? Am I willing?
So I guess most decisions we have to face are often a question of willing.
This word carries the powerful concept of “will” in it – and often we relate that to “who will win in the end”.
It’s judge against defender, kids against their parents, men against their wives, friends against friends.
Who’s willing to go to the end and who will eventually follow the other one.
I love the story of this one fight, or call it argument that a son had with his father a long time ago.
After a few years of ministry and doing all kinds of miracles the son has come to the point where he can’t do it anymore. Especially the next step, going all in by dying on the cross.
They fight, they argue. There’s tears and sweat. But also honesty.
And then this final whisper: Your will shall be done. Your will, father.
I am in a season of life where I need to make a lot of decisions. No, it’s not about what clothes to wear or what song to put on. It’s the real stuff. The life stuff.
And especially then I often detect a clash of wills in myself.
I hear my own will, with all its rational and so logical arguments.
But I also feel an amazing wave of peace flooding my soul when HE whispers his will into my heart. May I learn to follow his will.
And may my heart learn to whisper: Your will shall be done- Your will, father.
Some people say we have no choices in life.
Everything is predestined and we just need to surrender to fate.
Some people say we have too many choices, they are overwhelmed by freedom and simply lost the ability to make choices.
I believe we have a lot of choices.
We can decide what we want to wear today.
Whether it’s toast or cereal for breakfast.
We can even decide not to get out of bed all day.
We can choose what career path to follow, who to marry, where to live.
Those are choices on the surface.
They might be most visible to the outside, but do they make up life?
I believe there are choices we need to make deep down, and they will navigate us on the stormy sea of life.
Everyday we hear a million voices, telling us about the world and ourselves.
Countless people seem to know who we are and what we need. The more we listen to one voice the more this truth becomes our own.
But is it who we really are?
It is so easy for lies to take roots in our searching souls, and it is so difficult to pull them out once they’re settled. Nevertheless, for every lie in your heart God has more than one powerful truth for you.
Choose truth.
Everyday we are facing a tight schedule, an inbox full of emails, the decision what will come first.
Do I clean my house or do I meet a friend?
Do I work all day or do I find some time for a cup of tea?
Do I wake up in the morning and feel overwhelmed already by the business that awaits me during the day, or do I start off the day with seeking my Heavenly Father first, the provider of everything I need today and more?
Choose time. Choose people. Choose the important.
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It’s Friday again, which mean I join many other amazing people over at Lisa-Jo Baker‘s Five Minute Friday. Write for five minutes flat. No editing. Just words. And a great community.
I’ve written quite a few blog posts about this topic, and yet it is a reminder that I need again and again. Watch out for the small things (and people).
They can make a huge difference.
They can bless a truly horrible day.
They can lighten up a rather cloudy sky.
They can teach you about life.
A few small things and people I was blessed with in the past weeks…
…having a friend treat you to an afternoon out with great coffee and cake
…a little girl running towards you in church, giving you a kiss on the cheek and smiling just because you’re here
…my mom surprising me a day before my state board final exam, just to hang out, relax, massage and pray for me
…missing my bus, but realizing I am not in a hurry to go anywhere. The world does not end with missing one bus (even though we’re sometimes given that impression)
…receiving kind words, emails, texts to encourage you or “just thinking about you” notes
…skyping with long lost friends, hanging out for hours talking about nothing and everything
…waking up in the morning to the most beautiful sunny sky, or enjoying an amazing sunset from your kitchen window
All of these things are not extraordinary, super-over-the-top or organized. They just happened. They were small. And yet they fill me with gratitude and joy. And they remind me that my smallness can make a huge difference to someone else.
Watch out for the small things (and people). You never know the immense blessings they might bring to your life if you let them.
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Five Minutes. Just writing, no editing. Sharing with lots of other great people around the globe. Over at Lisa-Jo Baker‘s Five Minute Friday!
This week’s prompt is a bit of a challenge; I might have to start off with a confession: I am not a garden person. Every plant I ever had died sooner or later, since I forgot to water them, take care of them or didn’t realize what they needed.
Given this lack of gardening skills I am not sure I’ll have a garden later on.
Even though I’d want to.
Gardens are beautiful places.
Of rest.
Of amazement.
Of richness.
Of teaching.
I cannot help letting my mind wander off to the garden we had in Uganda.
A house surrounded by huge mango trees and casava plants. In between you’d also find a few passion fruit trees finding their way along house walls or other trees. And little islands with the most amazing and diverse flowers I had ever seen. I am really bad with names, but their colors were so bright, their shapes were so extraordinary. What a place to just lie in the grass and let your thoughts wander. Take a nap, while the sun warms your face.
This garden is a symbol for a few happy and carefree childhood days.
I go further to the garden we had around our farm in South Africa.
Peach and lemon trees stood around the little swimming pool, which provided a welcome refreshment on hot summer days. We spent countless hours taking the kids into the water, teaching them how to swim and having fun. I spent quite a few mornings there, with my guitar and my bible, to meet the Lord, to hear from him. My team leader would say this garden is her little piece of paradise where God would just speak.
This garden was a place for rest, for meeting the Lord. For letting him teach me about himself and the beautiful creation he has put me in.
In gardens we can see HIM at work. In the seeds that are planted and need a while to grow. In the little plants that slowly grow bigger and reveal their rich colors. In plants dying and finishing the cycle of life. And in the hands of a skilled gardener who tends to his plants, who prunes them so they can continue to grow, become stronger, and shine for their creator.
Aren’t we also a bit like that? And do we allow the master gardener to fulfill his work in us?
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This prompt was given by Lisa-Jo Baker on her amazing blog. She also has a great garden project coming up in South Africa- you should check it out!
thisiskatha.com 