Category: Uncategorized

The necessity of the in-between

“Say something – right now. 
If you’re not for me, you’re against me.
Silence is compliance or ignorance.” 

The online world of “instant” posts and heated debates on controversial topics has little tolerance for indecision. 

It is true that indecisiveness can be used as a cover to never take a stand or risk anything at all.
It is true that not making a decision can be abused as a way to avoid taking responsibility.
It is true that silence in the face of evil gives power to the oppressors.
It is true that we can be on the fence for too long and forget to stand up for what’s important: human dignity and the right to life.
Peace and tolerance. Love and understanding. 

But being indecisive at times does not always mean that we don’t care.
It might mean that we want to dig deeper instead of staying on the shallow surface.
It might mean that we want to understand complex issues instead of blurting out platitudes.
It might mean that we dare listening to several perspectives instead of resorting to exclusive binary thinking. 

I want to make educated decisions and stay true to my word afterwards.
My yes should be a wholehearted “Hell Yeah!” and my no a well justified rejection.
My comments should mean something and make a difference to the people I talk to. I don’t need to add more fuel to the fires already burning on our social media channels, workplaces, public spaces and dinner tables. 

Instead, I want to open space for honest conversation, open-ended thinking, deep questions and genuine connection – especially with people who we might not necessarily agree with.
I want to build a longer table instead of erecting thicker walls.
This takes courage, heart and… time to be undecided – at least for a while. 

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

A Practice for Uncertainty

It’s day Godknowswhat of this lockdown – how are you doing? 

We have reached a state where nothing is sure anymore. 

We don’t know when we’ll go back to school or what school will look like in the future.
We don’t know if we’ll see some students this year at all.
We don’t know if there will be grades or any graduation.

I don’t know what my summer break will look like.
I don’t know when I’ll be able to see real human beings in real life again.
I don’t know when we’ll be able to just sit on the lawn together, with a beer in hand, watching the sunset.
I don’t know if my family will be spared from the virus.
I don’t know how our hearts and minds will overcome this collective trauma.
I don’t know if any of the good practices we discover now – self-care, long walks, enough sleep, solidarity – will uphold once the speed of life is back on.  

Uncertainty really sinks in now and I feel a shift in so many. So far we were able to push back the circumstances as temporary, now we have to get used to the reality that this could really take a while and we need to adjust everything – our schedules, plans, lives – to it. 

This can be overwhelming. 

In the last few weeks I’ve practiced some meditative rituals (inspired by Aaron Niequist’s The Eternal Current) which help me to acknowledge my joys and fears in these crazy times. I can’t make them go away, but I can lay them out in the open and place them into the hand of the Divine who’s right here with me. In such crazy and uncertain times, it is important to reflect (and maybe adjust) our perspective regularly. 

Maybe you’d like to join me? 

Find a comfortable position, close your eyes and breathe. Inhale and exhale deeply. Once you’ve found a rhythm, start the meditation. 

This practice is not about dragging God into my life. I rather want to discover the places God is already at work in it. I focus on God right now, as much as this is possible in this moment. I ask him to help me look at my day with open eyes and ears and a receptive heart. 

I look at my day in gratitude, thinking of what I’ve experienced. 

I notice what I feel. God reminds me that I can look back without judgement or shame at how I treated others – and myself – today. 

If you want, you can reach out your right hand, palm up.

I look at the things that brought me joy, comfort and hope today. I express gratitude for them. 

If you want, you can also reach out your left hand, palm up. 

I look at the things that caused me pain, discouragement and fear today. I sit and grieve, then let them go into the hands of God. 

I look to what lies ahead. I ask: What do I want to take with me from today? I ask for strength, wisdom and courage. 

Inhale. Exhale. End.      

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

How to Navigate Rough Waters

“You know what I’d like to do right now? Go and have a coffee.” My friend had just arrived to spend the weekend with me. The official reason is a photo exhibition she’s about to open here – but it was an added bonus to have a few days together without her kids or my pressing work schedule. So we went for coffee and a second breakfast in the middle of the day.

As we indulged ourselves in pancakes and extra large coffee mugs, we updated each other on what had happened in our worlds since the last time we had talked. We shared news of friends who were struggling at work, relationships that were breaking apart, and the feeling of helplessness on the outside.
We sat there wondering, our hearts aching for all the dear people who worked so hard and saw their lives falling apart nevertheless.

I guess we’re less in control of life than we’d like to be. Often it doesn’t take much to lose it and stand in front of broken pieces, dreams, hopes.

When things on the outside start falling apart, we might have to take a closer look at the inside.
What makes life worth living?
What gives our souls its balance and our hearts its stability? 

The more I am caught up in the busyness of the working world, the seeming expectations of others and the impossibility of doing it all, the more I realize that I cannot just brush up the outside. A nice facade will only look nice until the winds of life start crashing against it.
If we want balance in our souls and lives, we need to work on the inside and create some depth that will navigate us safely through the rough waters.

Maybe this Advent season can serve as a reminder to slow down, light a candle and meditate on this simple, and yet so challenging, message.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today. Happy second Advent, y’all!

It’s Different Than You Think

Since I have lived in many different places, it happened quite a few times that people have asked me which of my homes is the best.
How can I even compare them? Each country and culture is so unique, all of them have their strengths and challenges, none is superior to the other.

“There is no better or worse. There is just different. In the most wonderful way.”

Every day we are surrounded by all kinds of people.
If I just glance around the people walking on the street, the students in my classroom, the friends I hang out with – I see diversity.
Our social media channels and political conversations are full of debates on how to create community in our diversity. There are too many voices that say some are better than others, there are too many boxes we sort each other in, there is too deep fear of the other that ultimately separates us from ourselves.

But what if we changed perspective for a moment?
What if we saw the people around us not as “the other”, but as mirrors of ourselves? What if we gave them the chance to reveal a little more to us about the world and what it means to be human?
What if we allowed each other to share a glimpse of the eternal together?

If we look closer, we are more connected than we think.
We are unique in our lives, characters and talents.
Each of our stories deserves to be told and heard.

There’s no better or worse.
We’re just different.
In the most wonderful way.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.
Cover Photo: Pujohn Das on Unsplash

I Don’t Deserve This

Mornings at home.
A huge window with a perfect view of the sky.
Warm covers to snuggle in.
Eight hours of peaceful sleep.
A full refrigerator with too many choices of what to eat.
A safe job and friendly colleagues.
No worries about money every month.
Friends who are just a phone call away.
A family that supports and encourages me.
Unexpected coffee dates during the week.
A golden sunset after a long day at work.
Carnival break which starts in a few hours.
A full calendar with plans for the future and lots of things to be excited for.
Free access to education, entertainment and information.
Free thinking and controversial discussions.

I didn’t earn this. Too many people on this planet are not as fortunate and have to suffer from poverty, hunger, lack of education, oppression, slavery.

When I look at just this week, I realize: I’m surrounded by pure grace.
My life is enriched by heavenly gifts.
It’s a privilege and I never want to take it for granted.
Instead, I want to practice gratitude. For everything, in everything.

What can you be grateful for this week?

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

You’ve Got to Let Go

Do you know these moments when you got it all planned out and then life takes a completely different turn?
Last Friday was such a moment for me. A long list of things to do, a full weekend ahead of me, a good couple of hours to finish it all. That was my plan for Friday.

I woke up with a headache and a feeling of nausea, so I gave myself an extra thirty minutes in bed. I had breakfast. I took a pill. I really took it slow.

No help.

In my mind I could almost hear the battle going on inside of me:
“I’ve got so much to do, this can’t be happening. Not today.”
“Maybe you just need to take some time to do nothing and just rest.”
“But when should I finish everything then? There are so many things on my list!”
“If you try to work while being sick, you won’t be happy with the results anyway.”

This went on for quite some time, until my eyes just closed and I fell asleep on the sofa.
I gave in to what my body clearly had tried to tell me.
Two hours later, I woke up refreshed and ready to go.

Life doesn’t always go as planned.
No matter how much we work and organize, things can always come in between, people can let us down, life can just get in the way. 
Often times we can’t explain it, most of the time we definitely don’t deserve it.
We can just decide how we’ll react to these interruptions, no matter how big or small they may be.
Sometimes we need to let go and surrender to life’s plans.
Sometimes we have to trust  that there’s someone there who sees and knows and will make it work – all in its right time.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

Break through the Clouds

I’m writing this from the plane on my way to Tel Aviv. When we boarded in Stuttgart, the early morning sky was grey and it began to rain as soon as the plane took off.
But oh, what joy! When we broke through the layer of clouds we were greeted with beautiful sunshine. The clouds looked like a soft bed, glowing in the sun. And I thought, what a shame down there can’t see the beauty.

To be honest, many days I’ve been very much like the people down there.
I see the grey and deficit only.
I’m way too busy to discover beauty around me.
I’m knee deep in worries and problems and don’t see much else.
I go online and numb myself with useless comparisons to more beautiful, happier, seemingly more satisfied people.

And I don’t like living this way.

Breaking through the clouds reminds me to overcome this mental barrier.
To shut off the filtered reality on my phone from time to time.
To zoom out and see the bigger picture.
To take a deep breath and inhale rest, freedom, beauty.
To trust in the One who sees it all, holds it all, overcomes it all.

Well, we’re landing soon.
Back to the ground and the grey skies. But I’m taking the sun with me.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

 

For Those Who Are Weak

“I’ve seen video content of a child that’s the same age as mine being raped by an American man that was a sex tourist in Cambodia.

“And this child was so conditioned by her environment that she thought she was engaging in play.” Continue reading “For Those Who Are Weak”