[Five Minute Friday] Dwell

dwell (dwɛl).

Verb.
1. To live somewhere
2. To look at something for a long time

It’s always refreshing to spend time with P, my godson.
He’s not even a year old and can’t say a word. And yet we ‘talk’. It’s a joy to spend time with him and watch him move.
The way he touches objects for the first time.
The way he moves around and slowly expands the little radius he calls his world.
The way he looks at things. Really looks at things.

The other day I wore earrings and he spent about thirty minutes just looking at it again and again. Running his small fingers across the surface, turning it back and forth to take in every detail.
He’s got all the time in the world.
No meeting to attend, no emails to reply to, no friend meeting somewhere.
No inner voice telling him to move on.
He can just dwell.

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I don’t know when it happens that life takes on this incredible speed we all seem to run at.
During breakfast we already plan the day ahead of us.
At night we reflect on all the challenges we had to face during the day.
Goodness, I even detected myself drifting off in conversations. While my friend was talking I was already planning next day’s lessons. My incoherent answers to her questions made me realize how off I really was.
We always need to move forward.
Towards the next weekend, the next vacation, the next promotion, the next partner.
We’re not allowed to dwell.
To stay in one place for a longer time.
To look at things and people – really look at them.
Run our hands across the surface and take in all the details.
Invest the time to dig deeper until we reach some deeper level of intimacy.
Enjoy and rest in this moment until that inner voice is silenced by a deep, deep peace.

Writing for Five Minute Friday today.

A Piece of Home

I just spent a few days with my grandmother.
She lives in a small village, and when I say small I really mean small. About one hundred people live there, only ten of them are below fifty years old.
We used to live there for a year, a very challenging year I have to say. After two years in the African jungle we ended up in this small village with not much to do. The bus runs twice a day – to school in the morning and back in the afternoon. People go to church on Sundays and to the pub on weeknights, that’s it.
I have to be honest, I was quite happy when we moved to a bigger town after a year.

Once in a while, though, I return to visit my grandma and most of the time it’s rather dull. Still the same nothingness. You have to plan your trip carefully if you come by train because the bus doesn’t run very often.
It sometimes feels like traveling into the middle of nowhere.

Entering my grandma’s house is like stepping out of your normal busy life into a quiet zone. It’s like life’s busyness stops all at once, it can’t get through that old wooden door.
I had never been able to define what awaits you inside until now.
There’s a calmness and peace which seems boring on the surface; yet, only when you enter you realize how desperately your soul needs exactly that.

A kitchen with an old oven. The smell of freshly cut wood. A warmth that creates a homely atmosphere immediately.
A table in a sunlit corner of the room, surrounded by an old wooden bench and chairs. Lots of chairs to accommodate the many visitors coming by.
The constant smell of coffee and some cake, which Gran can pull out of the most unexpected corners.

An old wooden staircase whose boards creek unless you know where to step. It leads you to two rooms, both older than everyone in the family. It’s hard to find electric sockets, they just didn’t exist when these rooms were built.
The floor made of old beams shimmering so brightly from decades of cleaning, waxing and trodding on them.
A huge bed made of dark wood with thick down feathers and a large cupboard attached to it. Give me one person who wouldn’t want to jump from the cupboard right into the soft covers. It’s just too tempting and we’ve been scolded way too many times for giving in.

Another small steep staircase takes you to the attic, the best part of the entire house. For years and years it has been the storeroom for whoever doesn’t have any space in their own house.
The perfect treasure hideout for kids.IMAG1294 Old cupboards, chairs, clothes, lamps. Each of them once belonged to uncles and aunts, great cousins and grandfathers. Each of them has a story to tell. Even though I’m all grown up now I still enjoy going up there, taking a trip down memory lane. Looking at the different pieces of furniture or clothing and imagining the story behind them. These dust-covered objects are way more than objects – they are a conduit into sweet memories of the past.

And then there’s grandma, of course.
A small roundish lady with a bun and a colorful apron. Her long black hair is spotted with gray and white streaks; her hands and face are lined with wrinkles.
She looks beautiful.
Beautifully, gracefully old. Immensely alive.
Her eyes are still full of fire and energy, and when she laughs you can see the joy in them.

She used to be a wild girl.
As the second youngest of four children she explored life and rebelled against boundaries to discover more about the world. She married a boy from the next village, she says it was love at first sight. She worked hard, running a farm, cooking for fifteen people every day, and raising seven children. She became a widow far too early at age fifty-four.
Her hands testify to the many hours of work and worry she has gone through.

She has been the good soul of the house ever since.

Despite a lot of hardships she persevered. “I simply had no other choice”, is what she often says when you ask her how she managed all the challenges life threw at her.
“And we survived.”

DSCI0425The kitchen is where most of her life takes place.
You can find her there early in the morning when she has her first cup of coffee before she heads out to feed her cats and chicken.
You always know when she’s busy because you can hear her soft humming – always the same three notes – in the whole house.
You will always find her working in the house or in her beautiful garden, except for an hour in the afternoon when she takes a nap in the giant armchair in the living room.

Life here is quiet. Life here is slow.

There’s a crazy loud world out there – but here there’s peace and quiet.
There are busy agendas and schedules out there – but here there’s only the right now. The work in front of you.
Like cracking walnuts for two hours and peeling the best parts out of the hard shell.
Like baking cake and learning the secrets from the best.
Like sitting down over a delicious meal and sharing what life has been like since we last saw each other.
Like listening to stories of the past and marveling at God’s grace and protection.

Life is good because I finally slow down enough to discover its little blessings in the mundane.

Grandma’s house is always open. There is a bell, but no one ever rings it. You just turn the key and enter.
This house has already seen people from all kinds of countries, continents, and lifestyles. Visitors from overseas and next door. Gran doesn’t speak any English and we have had quite a few interesting ‘lost in translation’ encounters.
Gran has never traveled much except Norway and Israel, but through the many visitors she has seen the world.

Grandma’s house is quite special.
It’s a place where you’ll always find a spare bed to rest your heavy legs.
A place where there’s always food on the table. “And if there’s not we’ll make some”, as my uncle says.
A place where someone will wait with open arms and an open ear to listen.
A place where you’ll meet a messy bunch of people I call my family.

A place you’ll never leave empty-handed, I promise.
You’ll literally have your bags packed with goods Grandma has for you. Instead of money she gives you eggs from her chicken, homemade ham and bread, even entire meals.
“It’s nothing”, she says.

But it is something.

You take a lot more away than a bag of goods. Wherever you go from here, you’ll carry stories with you.
Stories of the past that shape the present and inspire the future.
The big picture that binds us all together.
You treasure the memories for times to come.
Memories of quiet afternoons and walks around the lake in the sun.
The taste of home-cooked meals and sweet fellowship around the table.
The experience that despite all differences and distances family bonds are there to connect us all.

Grandma’s house, tucked away in this small village in the middle of nowhere, is a lot more than an old farmhouse.

It’s a piece of home.

And it will stay home as long as we decide to return and make it home.

[Five Minute Friday] Same

Last week I was in Lisbon.
We walked up the old cobblestone streets and marvelled at the view over this old and colorful city. We enjoyed good food and great company. We explored a bit more of Lisbon’s rich history.

One day we spent at a monastery and its church.
As I was sitting in a bench enjoying the quiet peaceful atmosphere I noticed a girl. She walked through the room quite fast, her view fixed forward.
In her hand she held a phone which she pointed at the statues and the decor around her. The red ‘record’ button shone brightly in the dimly light nave.
She was there, in this beautiful old building, but yet she wasn’t.
She looked at architecture and painted windows, and yet she didn’t.
She rushed by as if everything was the same.
Instead of taking in the details, instead of collecting impressions she collected a quick recording, a mere snapshot on a phone which will never, ever match reality.

As I saw this girl racing by with her phone on record and no time to take in the real beauty in front of her, I had to think.
Don’t we sometimes have the same attitude?
We visit a new city and try to document as much as possible.
Every meal, every moment of happiness must be instagrammed before we might enjoy it.
We meet up with friends for coffee, but often we’re both on a run, so fellowship better happen fast.
We gather for church on Sundays, but the service can’t take more than two hours because everyone wants to get home for lunch on time.
We are here, in this life, and yet we are not. We rush by as if everything was the same. 

Let’s break out of this ‘same’ box.
Let’s step down from the treadmill this life often has us on and actually…live.
Let’s not put an end to a coffee date, just enjoy the time you have. Focus on the details, discover that your friend will never be the same like someone else.
Let’s travel and not be rushed. Cross off a few sights on your list and rather watch a city’s people. Learn a building’s history and take in the beauty which is often hidden in small things. Decide to not take pictures with your camera, but with your heart. 
Let’s enjoy Sundays again and experience what happens when we truly wait for the Lord.
Let’s be here.
Let’s collect moments, not things.

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Linking up with Five Minute Friday today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Find

People who know me would probably agree that I am a patient person.
Someone who can wait.
But there are exceptions.
When it comes to finding something I can be really impatient. Like a small child that is supposed to find a toy in its mess of a room. I look once and don’t find it, “See? I looked and I didn’t find anything.” And then I sulk.
I become impatient.
At the toy that’s not there. At the world for no obvious reason. At myself.

The Bible also talks about seeking in the famous verse:

Seek and KEEP ON SEEKING and you will find. 

See, I guess I am not so good with that second part.
I seek and I often don’t find. 
Because I don’t keep on seeking. 
I don’t have the courage and patience to go after something again and again. And probably again the next day.

Not finding means missing out on some of the great things in life.
The beauty of nature in unexpected places because we walk around with our eyes closed.
Depth in friendships because we don’t keep on investing in someone.
The strength and courage in ourselves which will only grow if we take on a challenge.
The Lord’s peace that only comes when we stay close to Him.
The gift of His presence we often don’t detect in the hectic of every day life. 
We will find things we never set out to seek in the first place – let’s be more adventurous and patient to find them!

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Writing with many others over at Five Minute Friday today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Try

Do you remember these scenes at the dinner table when you were younger?
“Mom, I don’t like cheese on the pizza.” –  “But you have to eat it.”
“I don’t want to eat cheese. I don’t like cheese.” – “How come you don’t like cheese?” – “I don’t know, I never tried.”
– “See? You never tried. Well, I’m telling you girl, you don’t get to leave this table until you have tried at least one bit of cheese!”
Today cheese is one of my favorite bits on the pizza.

If you’re a parent you might have to go through these arguments with your own kids over and over again. A child who has never tried, but also never knew how much it missed out.

I find myself in similar arguments today with God.
I don’t like the tasks he sets before me, the people he wants me to connect with, the challenges that will help me grow.
I want to remain right where I am, right in my comfort zone.
So I sit at his table, stare at his offers, and wait.

The truth is, we will never know how good the “cheese” out there is unless we try.
We’ll never experience the freedom unless we’re willing to leave some old boxes behind.
We’ll never enter a new level of intimacy unless we have the courage to open up in our relationships.
We’ll never make new friends unless we leave the comfort of our own four walls once in a while.
We’ll never see more of the world unless we are willing to leave our six mile radius.
We’ll never see the growth in our lives unless we face the challenges to get there.
We’ll never see the beautiful view from the mountain top unless we take on the task to climb that hill. 

We’ll never experience the strong hand of our heavenly Father, lifting us up on his shoulders, saying “Come on, child, let’s try it together” unless we decide to let go and let him win that argument.
Again.
And again.

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Writing for Five Minute Friday over at Kate Motaung‘s place today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Ten

The other day I was at a party.
About 250 people there, most of whom I knew.
Well, “knew” is a bit overrated. I know their names, what they do, that’s it.

Occasions like this remind me of my true nature.
As much as I love the crowds and their energy, as much as everyone says I am an extrovert and people-person – deep down inside there is this shy girl that can’t handle the masses, the noise, the superficial talk over and over again.

And the more I come to think of it, the more I’m okay with it.
I’m okay with not being okay in big crowds. 
I’m okay with not connecting with everyone and talking with as many people as possible.

People and their relationships are an interesting thing.
How and when do we connect with others?
Most of the people I met at that party were there because we all do the same thing – teach.
We sit together in classes, we laugh at the same jokes, we spend our breaks together. For this assigned time we live in this bubble together and feel like we’re the best friends ever.
But after class ends, when everyone goes home to their own lives, we are not.
We are just two people who might run into each other on the street, say hello, move on.

We need people like this in our lives.
Whatever we may call them (acquaintances, friends, temporary friends…), we need people to walk alongside us for a specific time. It doesn’t have to be much, not very intense, it’s just there for the moment. When this time ends – how many of these relationships will survive?

We can’t survive on these crowds, on mere acquaintances, superficial talks. 
We need something more. 
Deeper connection. Scratching below the surface. Taking off our masks.
People we want to invest in, pour our time and soul into.
People who invest in and pour into us.
Walk through the light and the heavy days together.
Cheer each other on in tough times, rejoice over victories.
It doesn’t have to be the crowds, it only takes a few.
Ten people, maybe only three or five.
Maybe only one.

Are you a crowd or a “ten’s enough” person? Who pours into your life? Who do you choose to invest in? 

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Connecting with a fabulous bunch of writers at Five Minute Friday today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Free

I don’t know what you remember from your teenage years (or how much you actually want to remember), but one thing that I took away from it was that it was hard. A lot of struggles.
Who are my true friends?
What kind of music do I really like?
Why do I do the things I do?
How do I want my life to look like?
What is my opinion on xyz?

I especially struggled with my faith.
Why do I believe in God?
Does the way I believe in him actually make sense?
I felt limited in my expressions of faith, boxed in by opinions I had been taught by family and church.
It was time to break out.

The road to freedom often is not a golden-paved way to the promised land. 
Rather a stony, hilly path into the unknown. 

I also remember conversations with people outside the bubble I had grown up in.
People who lived a completely different lifestyle, had completely different opinions.
People who asked lots of questions and forced me to re-evaluate myself, to step away from all of it for a while and look at things from a distance.
People who encouraged me to pull away the layers of my life that were no longer part of my self.
They were present in my struggles, cheered me on in my search, helped me get rid of unnecessary baggage so that I could finish the race.

Well, the race is not finished yet.
But the more I see and experience in life, the more people I meet, the more I step out of my comfortzone and boxed-in beliefs – the more I discover the great freedom that’s out there. 
Freedom to be and not just do.
Freedom to make mistakes.
Freedom to grow.
Freedom to discover and learn.
Freedom to climb up that hill, no matter how long it may take.
Freedom to believe and discover more of God’s facets in unexpected places.
Freedom to live.

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Linking up with my writing friends over at Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday

[Five Minute Friday] Dream

I don’t dream at night. No winter wonderlands, no nightmares.
But I certainly have dreams.

I used to dream of becoming famous. Someone people would recognize on the streets.
I used to dream of becoming a professional musician and touring the world.
I used to dream of being someone people look up to.
I used to dream of being married to a handsome man by the age of 25.
I used to dream of being and doing so much more.

What material are dreams made of?
When is a dream a dream and when is it just a simple illusion?

I guess we need to live in order to find out.
We need to run with an idea and see how far we can get.
We need to allow a vision to flood our veins with energy and adrenaline to keep us going.
We need to stumble and readjust our view.
We need to watch a dream shatter at the rocky shores of life, say goodbye to mere illusions and overrated expectations.
We need life to refine our dreams and reveal their true nature.

We need to go through this process of running, falling and seeing clearly.
In the midst of it we might discover that dreams are still there.
That new dreams are birthed in unexpected places.
We might encounter the One who has dreams for us, had them all along, and will never give up on us trying.
We might find that our dreams have a perfect place in the bigger picture.

You can’t measure a dream.
But if we allow the master to dream for and with us we might see them unfold right in front of us.

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As always, linking up with Kate Motaung and the Five Minute Friday peeps today!

[Five Minute Friday] Fear

When I was little I was terribly afraid to be alone in the car.
Whenever my Mom would stop somewhere to swing by a place or drop something off I lost it. As soon as she said, “it’ll only take a minute” I knew what was coming.
My mind started racing with scenarios how strangers would come and attack me, hijack me right out of the car. I sometimes hid behind my seat to not be seen by people passing the car.

So my parents bought a teddy bear.
I actually don’t remember if he had a name, but he kept me company whenever Mom and Dad couldn’t.
That teddy bear didn’t make everything better, but he made me feel less afraid.
He was just there.

About twenty years later I’m totally fine by myself in the car and many other places.
But fear is still there, just in a changed form.
We still feel lonely sometimes and doubt if we are good enough for someone’s friendship.
We still have to face tests in all kinds of areas in life and deal with potential failure.
We still can’t foresee the future and know whether we will sink if we step out onto new waters.
We still live in a world that appears to be more broken every day with suffering, wars, hunger, poverty.

Fear of what’s to come lurks in the back of all our minds.
It freezes our brains, cripples our souls, and binds our hands sometimes.

We are not supposed to live like this, crippled and hopeless.
We are meant to overcome fear and thrive.
This doesn’t happen in a day, but it might start with a teddy bear.
Someone in your life who walks with you.
Listens to you as you share what really bothers you.
Cheers you on as you call fear by its name and put it in its right place.
Pull fear out of the shadows and into the light.

As long as we live in this broken world we can’t take all cares and fears away.
But we can very well decide whether it governs our lives by lurking in the dark.
Let’s find and be teddy bears.
Friends who walk with each other through the dark days.
Who face trials together.
Who help each other get up after we have fallen.
Who don’t take everything away, but make the day or night a little brighter.
Let us remind each other to bring our fear-crippled hearts to the Everlasting, our rock and true safety.

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It’s Friday and we meet up at Kate Motaung‘s to just write. Come and join us!

Navigating the Turbulent Ocean Called Life


I was two when we moved for the first time. 



Ever since then I’ve never lived in one place for more than six years. Due to my dad’s job and my parents’ global attitude, we have moved across town, cross country, and overseas. As a German native, I’ve also lived in Uganda, South Africa, and the US.

Transitions are not easy.
They challenge us, shake up our beliefs of who we are, of how the world looks like and functions, of how God is or seemingly isn’t at work in our lives.

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I am thrilled to be featured with this story at Ashley Hales’ Circling the Story today! Come join me to read the rest of this piece here