It’s another Friday, so I am linking up with the writer community at Kate Motaung‘s place.
This post is part 10 of the series “31 Days in the Life of a TCK”.
Come join the whole conversation here. Don’t forget to subscribe!
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When we arrived in Uganda we were the only white family in the village.
But this did not matter because we quickly grew into a new unique family with the people around us.
There were many neighbors around who came by to check out the Mzungus or to play ball.
We always had tea and cake ready cause no day went by without spontaneous visitors.
The village became a caring community.
But also the people on the same compound were our family.
One lady taught me how to play guitar since the only key instrument in the entire village was a very out of tune church organ.
Another lady explained Latin syntax to me since I had been convinced that I had to learn Latin in homeschool. Yes, it was a pain but I have a – let’s say unique – relationship to this subject.
These people, no matter the skin color, were our family.
They took on roles of far away relatives and told us bedtime stories, they challenged us, they sometimes annoyed us.
But they took care of us and made us a home away from home.
Whenever I moved I found this to be true.
As soon as you step outside your comfort zone you’re out there.
Away from home. And it is hard.
But if you keep your eyes open you’ll find a new home.
A community of fellow adventurers in South Africa.
A group of students in Germany.
A bunch of internationals living the American Dream.
You will find people who care for you if you allow yourself to open up and let them care for you. Away from comfort and familiarity you will find a surprising comfort in people you never suspected.
Do you have people who take care of you where you are at the moment?
And where can you be a person taking care of someone else?
Category: Five Minute Friday
[Five Minute Friday] New
It’s Friday, so this means there will be a “normal” Five Minute Friday post here today. Join fellow writers over at Kate‘s!
But it’s also Day 3 of the 31 Days series in the Life of a TCK, so obviously it will all go under this theme. Never heard of the series? No problem, you’re welcome to join in! Find more infos here, then subscribe to get all the posts in your inbox!
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Six years after I had left Uganda I once again stepped onto African ground.
Somehow my heart had drawn me to South Africa, so I would spend a year there doing voluntary work in a township near Pretoria.
While packing, while saying goodbye, while anticipating the adventure – my heart sang: Africa, I am coming back.
I thought I knew Africa.
I thought I knew how things would be, what clothes to wear, what life to live, what people to meet.
Well, in some respect yes.
From the moment my team leader picked me up from the airport and we drove through the countryside I felt at home. Driving on the left side just seemed so much more natural to me than the right (and I still prefer it until today).
But in so many respects no.
Houses looked different, the roads had less potholes and more asphalt, and the people were different.
There were white people who called themselves African, a concept that did not fit in my picture of black-African; white- foreigner.
It took me a while to get used to the mambo jambo of the Rainbow Nation South Africa.
This would not just be another year in Africa. This was something new.
I was no longer the missionary kid tagged along by the parents and seeing what they did.
This was me being the missionary and doing the work, including all the joys and hardships.
Different good or different bad? Definitely good. But so new and challenging.
This experience is true for many TCKs who move between cultures and lived in even more countries than me.
You cannot compare one or the other.
Every bit of their lives is different and new.
And that’s okay, it keeps you fresh and challenges a different bit inside of you.
This experience is also true for just life with all its different transitions and life phases.
New job, graduating from college, getting married, having a child, retiring.
We think we know life and yet we always have to discover that there are new facets to it every day.
Different good or different bad?
Hopefully good.
And new and exciting.
[Five Minute Friday] Because
I remember certain conversations (or rather arguments?) with my sister or my mother when I was younger.
Normally we would fight about who would play who when we played “House”, who was supposed to clean the stairs, who would have to watch our little brother…
In the German language there’s this wonderful word that can solve every argument. DOCH (as English speakers, try to pronounce it, it will sound like a machine gun).
To any why question or why not not question, or even to a “you will threat” you can simply say Doch. It stands for everything you might be for or against. And for a child’s strongest will.
In English I sometimes miss this word, but BECAUSE is a pretty good contestant.
And interestingly, I still find myself in arguments (or was it rather conversations?).
This time, however, I am at the other end, and my partner is the Lord.
We talk about life, why things are hard sometimes.
Why I can’t be somewhere else now.
Why he still hasn’t done this and that.
Why I haven’t grown in such and such way.
And his answer often includes BECAUSE.
Luckily, he gives more than just this word.
Whenever the Israelites argued with the Lord, he sure gave them a whole list on why’s.
The Bible is full of BECAUSE.
Don’t hate yourself BECAUSE I love you.
Don’t give up BECAUSE I am with you.
Don’t be afraid BECAUSE I will carry you through the fire.
Give freely to others BECAUSE I have given everything for you.
You’re not worthless BECAUSE I have redeemed you.
His BECAUSE silences any kind of why or what we could ever come up with.
I am glad that the Lord and I can talk, yes even argue at times. But I am even more grateful that he wins every time.
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Linking up with Kate Motaung for five minutes of writing, no editing, and sharing with a wonderful community!
[Five Minute Friday] Ready
There I was, at the airport, about to take the biggest step of my life.
I would get on that plane to Johannesburg, South Africa, to spend the best year of my life.
Finding God, finding people, finding myself.
But was I ready for that? After months of planning and paperwork it all still seemed unreal. Maybe even frightening. What was I thinking?
I guess we all know these moments.
The first steps into the adult world after school.
One last major exam that makes up our university degree.
The walk down the aisle into married life alongside a person you’re still in the process of getting to know.
The first day on the first job.
The first child.
The sudden diagnosis that turns your life around.
The realization that life on this earth has an expiration date.
Are we ready for all that? Will we ever be?
It doesn’t take much to make our lives spin. Often it’s the little things that push us off the cliff and make us lose ourselves.
It reminds me of little birds that are pushed out of the nest at some point.
Sounds cruel, but it forces them to spread their wings and actually fly.
Taking the plunge makes them realize that the air carries them and there’s a whole new world out there to be discovered.
Life and its changes is like that bird mother pushing us out of the nest.
Again and again, with big and small things.
Shaking up our comfortable nests. Making us take the plunge.
But only then can we realize that there’s something there.
When we spread our wings we realize there’s something underneath carrying us.
The One who was always there and always will be.
His comfort enables us to spread our wings and fly.
Into the next step of life, into a world out there to be discovered and conquered.
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After a short break I am back to the Five Minute Friday community with Kate Motaung! One word. Five Minutes of Writing. No editing. Linking up with fellow writers. Come and join us!
[Five Minute Friday] Reach
For Your steadfast love is great above the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
(Psalm 108:4)
In my walk with Christ –called life– there are times when I find it quite hard to believe.
To take his words for truth, to let them come alive in me because life around me just speaks something completely different.
His words don’t reach me because I don’t take them in.
I don’t allow them to penetrate the very core of my soul, the point where I need his words the most.
Yet, here they are.
His words of truth.
His love is great and his faithfulness is not limited in its reach.
Familiar words, yet full of power everytime you meditate on them.
He reaches out to his, the heavens and the earth are a testimony for that.
And there’s no place I could go, no mess I could get myself in where his love and faithfulness don’t reach. I am covered in it, whether I know/want it or not.
I guess I need this reminder today. I need it often.
When I reach out to him, he’s always ready to welcome me with open arms.
When I reach out to him, I allow him to reach me.
To let his words go deep until they’re engraved on my heart.
When I reach out to him, I am overwhelmed by his love and faithfulness, taking it all in, learning a bit more about him.
And hopefully, his reach reminds me to reach out to others as well today who need to know they’ve already been reached for.
Will I reach out today? Will I allow myself to be reached today?
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Five Minute Friday with Kate Motaung. One word. Write for five minutes flat. No editing. Link up with a great community of writers!
[Five Minute Friday] Change
We can try as hard as we want – we can’t stop it. Change.
No matter how many plastic surgeries you’ll have, your body will eventually bear the features of age.
No matter how much money you spend on a house, you’ll die in it one day.
No matter how much you care for your children, they will leave home one day.
No matter how many friends you have or how often you meet for coffee, they will move away one day or you might move on.
Change is everywhere. Some of it we can delay, most of it is out of our control.
As a TCK change almost seems to be part of your genes.
There’s a voice inside of you saying, “you cannot go a year without change. Two years in one place is already too long. Just wait for it, your friends will move anyway. You can’t stay here.”
As I move into this new phase of my life , I find a certain reluctance to change inside of me.
I don’t want to change anymore.
The thing I loved about being a TCK – the moving – feels strange and exhausting to me out of a sudden. At least for the moment.
There is this yearning inside of me to just be.
To just stay where I am.
At least for now.
I guess we need both.
We need to change, it will happen if we want it or not.
To change is to live.
So rather embrace it than just be shaped by it.
Appreciate the way things we get to experience now.
In all of this we need a firm place to root ourselves.
A place that doesn’t change.
A person we can go back to when change breaks us apart.
The One who says about himself “I am the same – yesterday, today, and forever.”
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Linking up with Kate Motaung today over at Five Minute Friday!
[Five Minute Friday] Tell
It’s not really that hard. It’s very simple actually.
Open your mouth and speak.
Tell someone.
And yet, it often can be the hardeset thing in the world.
We speak a bazillion words every day, but how many of them are really worth telling? Do we tell the things that help those around us or will they vanish into thin air as soon as the words came out of our mouth?
We should tell things that last.
We should tell things that matter.
But this can be a real challenge sometimes.
Tell someone you’re sorry. Take the first step to reconcile a relationship.
Tell someone you love them.
Tell someone they’re beautiful on day when they really needed to hear it.
Tell someone they’re a blessing in your life and the best friends you could imagine.
Tell someone about the little things you enjoy about them because this can make a big difference to them.
Tell the truth.
As hard as it may be, as painful as it can be.
Raise your voice and tell those around you.
In the midst of oversharing nonsense on social media – share truth.
Tell about Christians suffering in Iraq and Syria.
Fellow human beings mistreated and killed for their beliefs.
Tell about people working in horrible conditions for our luxury.
Tell about girls trafficked right under our eyes.
Telling can be hard. It can cost us something.
But it can be powerful at the same time.
Our words can bring beauty into ashes, hope into despair, a breath of new life into dead bones.
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It’s Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung. One word. Five Minutes of Writing. Telling stories, hearts, lives.
[Five Minute Friday] Fill
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow (Desert Song. Brooke Ligertwood)
This song often speaks to me. It encompasses all the seasons of life, all the moods of my soul. It never stops at one place, but always seeks for more, looks out for the Lord.
Life seems to be a process of being filled and being emptied again.
Having times when people just pour into you.
You feel as if God’s just opening the heavens to shower you with blessings.
Your heart and mouth are flowing over with the joy you experience.
And then there are times when it’s your turn to give.
When you pour into others, pass on from what you’ve been given before.
Invest your time, money, thoughts, and emotions into someone else.
There are situations and challenges that just drain your energy.
The big challenge we have is to find a balance between these times.
We cannot be happy all the time, not everything will go smoothly.
But we’re neither supposed to struggle all the time.
There will be joy in the morning after the sorrow of the night.
On our own strength we won’t be able to maintain this balance.
We have this privilege to go to the One whose strength and joy and encouragement are far greater than any we could ever come up with.
He can fill us with more than we can ever imagine.
And he loves doing it!
He enjoys it when we come empty-handed and ask to be filled with his abundance.
And he rejoices when we leave joyfully and fill someone else with this gift.
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For the first time, Kate Motaung is hosting Five Minute Friday – Welcome! Everything else stays the same: one prompt. Five minutes of writing. No editing. Sharing.
[Five Minute Friday] Begin
Yesterday was the day.
The day things came to an end.
I had my stateboard exam in English, a five hour exam and then it was done.
I studied five years for this. Now I am one step (and only one more exam) closer to graduation.
It was strange.
Yesterday, my roommate moved out.
We had shared an apartment for three years, enjoyed late night movie and laughter sessions,
lived a bit of life together.
When I got back home last night she was gone.
Her room was completely empty and I could hear my own voice echoing from the plain white walls.
It was strange.
While I feel sad about things coming to an end, I cannot deny a second emotion springing up in my heart: excitement.
Pure joy.
Apprehension of what comes next.
Graduation means stepping out into the world.
Getting a job. Moving on. Let’s see what life throws at me then.
An empty room means a new roommate. Breaking up of old habits, redecorating.
New people, new fun, new ideas.
In German we have a saying, “there’s magic in every new beginning” (Jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne).
And I am about to find out a little more if that’s true.
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One last time the fabulous Lisa-Jo Baker is hosting Five Minute Friday- thank you!
With quiet, soft steps…./Mit leisen Schritten…
Isn’t life ironic sometimes?
Just two days ago I posted about this feeling that’s been creeping up in me over the last few weeks. Things around me are coming to an end, passing by my eyes, and I can just look after them and whisper a quiet ‘Goodbye’.
And now, Lisa-Jo Baker talks about finishing well in the Five Minute Friday prompt – spot on. So I post my thoughts again and hope you’ll join the conversation!
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| photo credit: Nathan Martin |
With quiet, soft steps a part of my life says goodbye, and I am too busy to mourn it.
This week was full of ‘lasts’.
The last paper, the last office hour with a professor, the last seminar.
A few weeks ago already was the last presentation, but I only realized it afterwards.
It’s a lot of small steps, but they make a big difference, and I become aware of it only bit by bit.
It’s the end of five years at uni.
Five years of studying, of thinking and diving into complexities.
Five years of lights going on when I got something.
Five years of crazy study groups and wonderful people.
What I find most interesting or sad about it is not necessarily that it’s over, but that I don’t have time to say goodbye. Too many appointments, deadlines, and thoughts in my head keep me from saying Tschüss properly.
But it is so important to not just go from one thing to the next. Don’t mourn nostalgically and never let go, but look back on everything you accomplished with pride. Enjoy and be grateful.
Every step into something new is a bit easier if you finished the step before that well.
I have written about this topic before, and I feel it will be part of my thoughts for a while. Things become a little easier with a RAFT.
Life will always be full of ‘lasts’ and new beginnings.
A life without movement is impossible – and honestly, who would want that?
Without movement we are stuck, get rusty, die a little.
But we can make transitions easier by making them consciously.
You have to close doors behind you sometimes to know which open ones you can go through next.
How do you make transitions in your life? If you already graduated, how did you celebrate/experience/miss the end of your studies?
Mit leisen Schritten verabschiedet sich ein Lebensabschnitt und ich bin zu beschäftigt, ihm hinterher zu trauern.
Diese Woche war voll mit letzten Dingen.
Die letzte Hausarbeit, die letzte Sprechstunde beim Dozenten, das letzte Seminar.
Vor einigen Wochen schon war das letzte Referat, mir ist es aber erst danach aufgefallen.
Es sind viele kleine Schritte, aber sie machen doch einen großen Unterschied, der mir erst nach und nach bewusst wird.
Es ist das Ende von fünf Jahren Uni.
Fünf Jahre voller lernen und sich in Dinge reindenken.
Fünf Jahre Aha Erlebnisse haben.
Fünf Jahre mit verrückten Lerngruppen und tollen Menschen.
Was ich an dem Ganzen interessant oder traurig finde ist nicht unbedingt, dass es zu Ende geht, sondern dass ich keine Zeit habe, Abschied zu nehmen.
Viel zu viele Termine, deadlines und Gedanken im Kopf um bewusst ciao zu sagen.
Dabei ist es so wichtig, nicht einfach von einem zum nächsten zu gehen.
Nicht wehmütig hinterher zu trauern und nicht loslassen, sondern mit Stolz auf das zurückblicken, was man geschafft hat.
Sich freuen und dankbar sein.
Jeder Schritt in etwas neues ist einfacher, wenn man den Schritt davor gut beendet hat.
Über dieses Thema habe ich schon öfter geschrieben und ich glaube, es wird mich noch ein bisschen länger beschäftigen. Mit einem RAFT geht so manches leichter.
Das Leben wird immer wieder letzte Dinge und Neuanfänge haben. Ein Leben ohne Bewegung gibt es nicht – und ganz ehrlich, wer will das auch? Ohne Bewegung bleibt man stehn, rostet ein, stirbt. Aber man kann die Übergänge leichter machen, indem man sie bewusst macht.
Man muss manchmal Türen hinter sich zumachen, um zu wissen, durch welche offenen man als nächstes gehen soll.
Wie gestaltet du Übergänge in deinem Leben? Wie hast du das Ende deines Studiums erlebt/ gefeiert/verpasst?
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