31 Days of Setting Healthy Boundaries

Welcome to #write31days 2015! 

Every year in October writers all across the globe gather to write. You pick a topic and write about it every day.
It is a challenge, yes. But it’s also an immense blessing. It’s like a bootcamp for your writing, your words become sharper, more precise, more powerful.
Writing a post a day gives you the opportunity to really dig into a topic, explore different features, and ask some of the hard questions.

My topic this year is “Setting Healthy Boundaries.”

button bigI guess we all know what it means to just get caught up in life. We feel like on a rollercoaster, going up and down without a possibility to escape. We work, we do household chores. We engage in relationships. We give and we take. And sometimes we feel like we’re all burned out. Like we’ve got nothing left to give.
In the midst of this craziness Jesus says:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 (ESV)

This is some hard truth! Life often doesn’t seem to be abundant – it feels more like existing. Dragging yourself along, from one day to the next, from one vacation to the next. It’s functioning, but it’s not the abundance Jesus has promised us.
How do we find more abundance in our lives? 
How can we set boundaries to protect our souls from drying up and to preserve the good that’s already there?

The last two years have been my personal struggle with boundaries. As I transitioned (and still do) out of college and into working life, as I mature into adulthood, as I learn more and more on my faith journey, I have to discover who I am. And more importantly, who I am not. I have to develop the courage to say NO to the wrong things in order to find the freedom to say YES to the right things. 

Setting boundaries is not just a topic for people in leadership or a certain age group. It’s a habit we all need to establish and practice. The more we do that, the more we’ll experience life – real, abundant life – coming back to us.
So I invite you to come along for this journey. Let’s learn what boundaries are and why it is so important to set them. Let’s let go of some lies we believe about setting boundaries and take first steps towards more abundance in our lives.
The easiest way to tag along is by subscribing and you’ll get every new post straight to your inbox!

I am no professional psychologist and will mostly share from my own experiences and reading. This series should not just be about me talking, so I encourage you to get involved by asking questions, commenting, or sharing your own stories!

Some resources that might help you along the journey:
Food for your soul:
Cloud&Townsend. Boundaries.
Buchanan. The Rest of God.
Shelley Miller. Sabbath Society.

Food for your body:
Sorted Food. Delicious recipes with a side of videos and British humor!
OneIngredientChef. Vegetarian and vegan food you can’t resist to cook yourself!

[Five Minute Friday] Doubt

I must confess I doubt. A lot.
It seems that doubt is normally associated with negative terms, something you’re not supposed to do, especially as a Christian.
And yet I doubt. I ask questions. I wonder.
I doubt that the day will be sunny when the morning looks really dark and cloudy.
I doubt that a friendship will get back on track.
I doubt people’s genuineness sometimes.
I doubt my own abilities when tasks just seem too demanding and overwhelming.
I doubt that dire situations will ever come to an end.
I see friends and family struggle, yes even battle with life, and all I can ask is Why?
I wonder about things going on in this world – war, loss, flight, hunger, poverty – and I can’t help but doubt that there is a good, big plan behind it.
I doubt if all of this will work out in the end.

I guess we all carry doubts with us.
These unanswered questions lingering in the back of our minds, creeping up once in a while.

I think it’s okay to doubt.
We grow when we wonder, when we ask questions.
When we don’t just accept things as given, but always strive to go deeper.

In the end its all about what we do with our doubts.
If we just settle in the status quo of unanswered questions or if we take action.
If we take our questions and doubts somewhere.
To someone.
The realist says, “I doubt this will work so I won’t attempt it.”
The fideist says,”I have doubts, yes. But I also have faith in someone bigger and stronger, and more omniscient than I could ever be. Someone who says ‘with me nothing is impossible’. So let’s try.”

What are some of your doubts and what do you do with them?

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It’s Friday and I am writing with many other writers over at Five Minute Friday. Come and join us?

Thoughts of a Traveling Mind

IMG_5496After some remodeling and moving posts from there to here I am glad you’re here. Welcome to the blog!
Welcome to “thoughts of a traveling mind”.
In case you didn’t know: I like to travel. Looking up airplane tickets and complaining about prices is one of my hobbies. I am immensly blessed by all the travels I was already allowed to take and all the amazing people I got to meet. Strangers who have become friends. The feeling of home in unexpected places with friends who have become family.
Some stories of my travels and the many lessons I learned from places and people along the way you will find here.

What I’ve learned in the last year especially is that you don’t have to go far to learn something new and unfamiliar. My mind travels to all kinds of places. Sometimes these thoughts can be unprocessed and messy. Sometimes they are more questions than answers. Sometimes they are raw and brutally honest. They are part of life with all its bright and dark days.

Life is a constant journey, people are the true adventure – and writing about it is my way of making sense of it. I am immensly surprised and glad whenever it speaks to you as well.
Thanks for coming along for the ride! 

[Five Minute Friday] Celebrate


It is Friday. Finally. This has definitely been a long week.
A week of firsts.
The first time I walked into a room of students and introduced myself as their teacher. Not the intern, the teacher.
The first time I made my own rules and people actually listened.
The first time I walked out of a bad lesson and had no other teacher to blame but me.
One day was particularly frustrating and I carried that negative undertone with me all day. What had happened? Nothing much actually, but I had allowed minor things or the minority of a really good class to get to me.
It’s so easy to let one dark spot overshadow the bright whole, isn’t it?
And yet it’s so human.
We tend to look for mistakes instead of success.
We tend to linger on our weaknesses instead of maximizing our strengths. 
We tend to complain about our lack instead of enjoying the abundance we already live in. We tend to mourn instead of celebrating.
Over the last year I’ve gone back again and again to a song called “The Art of Celebration”.
It really is an art.
To celebrate no matter the circumstances.
And I am not talking about making merry and singing cheerful songs when all you want to do is cry. I am talking about singing after all, no matter how feeble the sound.
Your voice might quiver and break, but you keep on singing.
Your eyes might tear up, but you keep on looking out for the little blessings all around you. The good potential in everyone that sometimes takes a bit more time to uncover.
The energy and strength that comes from simple activities like a restful Sunday, a cup of good coffee, a few pages of a good book, a chat with a friend.
The belief that the sun is still there even though you can’t see it through the thick dark clouds.
Celebration is an art. Let’s practice it a bit more every day.
Celebrating with writing friends at Five Minute Friday today.

[Five Minute Friday] Same

Last week I was in Lisbon.
We walked up the old cobblestone streets and marvelled at the view over this old and colorful city. We enjoyed good food and great company. We explored a bit more of Lisbon’s rich history.

One day we spent at a monastery and its church.
As I was sitting in a bench enjoying the quiet peaceful atmosphere I noticed a girl. She walked through the room quite fast, her view fixed forward.
In her hand she held a phone which she pointed at the statues and the decor around her. The red ‘record’ button shone brightly in the dimly light nave.
She was there, in this beautiful old building, but yet she wasn’t.
She looked at architecture and painted windows, and yet she didn’t.
She rushed by as if everything was the same.
Instead of taking in the details, instead of collecting impressions she collected a quick recording, a mere snapshot on a phone which will never, ever match reality.

As I saw this girl racing by with her phone on record and no time to take in the real beauty in front of her, I had to think.
Don’t we sometimes have the same attitude?
We visit a new city and try to document as much as possible.
Every meal, every moment of happiness must be instagrammed before we might enjoy it.
We meet up with friends for coffee, but often we’re both on a run, so fellowship better happen fast.
We gather for church on Sundays, but the service can’t take more than two hours because everyone wants to get home for lunch on time.
We are here, in this life, and yet we are not. We rush by as if everything was the same. 

Let’s break out of this ‘same’ box.
Let’s step down from the treadmill this life often has us on and actually…live.
Let’s not put an end to a coffee date, just enjoy the time you have. Focus on the details, discover that your friend will never be the same like someone else.
Let’s travel and not be rushed. Cross off a few sights on your list and rather watch a city’s people. Learn a building’s history and take in the beauty which is often hidden in small things. Decide to not take pictures with your camera, but with your heart. 
Let’s enjoy Sundays again and experience what happens when we truly wait for the Lord.
Let’s be here.
Let’s collect moments, not things.

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Linking up with Five Minute Friday today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Yes

Yesterday a picture went viral. 
A police officer carrying the dead body of little boy out of the Mediterrenean sea in Turkey. The boy had tried to flee across the sea and had drowned in a boat that’s been way too small and way too old for such a precious load.
This is not the first incident, it’s just the peek of inhumanity in a series of terrible events going on in Europe at the moment. People trying to enter our countries, and all they hear is NO.
NO to a place to stay.
NO to something to eat.
NO to transport.
NO to a job.
NO to them as people, as human beings who have something to offer to this world and community.
The daily news of burned down refugee homes, aggressive demonstrations and the most horrible posts on social media make it hard to believe in a bright future, in something better to come.
There’s just NO and uncertainty.

But in all that darkness, in the midst of desperation, there’s a YES.
A YES that resounds from the beginning of time when it was first spoken.
The YES that the One God uttered and then made people.
YES to create fragile, tempted, vulnerable, often horrible, hurting human beings.
YES to beloved children who make a lot of mistakes and are more lost than they would ever know, yet are also more saved than they will ever dare to hope.

His YES starts ringing like a whisper in our hearts, gaining strength until it fills our entire being.
He said YES to us. And His YES can give us the courage, faith, and strength to say YES to others.
YES to welcoming people into our countries.
YES to opening our doors to them.
YES to listening to their stories, holding their hands when they’re shaking with fear.
YES to giving away food, housing, any kind of support.
YES to mirroring Jesus in places of despair and uncertainty. 
Let there be YES and a bit more hope in this broken, broken world.

If you’re as disgusted and compelled as me by the happenings in Europe at the moment, please check out more resources. And pray, if that’s all you can do.

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Writing for Five Minute Friday today. 

 

[Five Minute Friday] Find

People who know me would probably agree that I am a patient person.
Someone who can wait.
But there are exceptions.
When it comes to finding something I can be really impatient. Like a small child that is supposed to find a toy in its mess of a room. I look once and don’t find it, “See? I looked and I didn’t find anything.” And then I sulk.
I become impatient.
At the toy that’s not there. At the world for no obvious reason. At myself.

The Bible also talks about seeking in the famous verse:

Seek and KEEP ON SEEKING and you will find. 

See, I guess I am not so good with that second part.
I seek and I often don’t find. 
Because I don’t keep on seeking. 
I don’t have the courage and patience to go after something again and again. And probably again the next day.

Not finding means missing out on some of the great things in life.
The beauty of nature in unexpected places because we walk around with our eyes closed.
Depth in friendships because we don’t keep on investing in someone.
The strength and courage in ourselves which will only grow if we take on a challenge.
The Lord’s peace that only comes when we stay close to Him.
The gift of His presence we often don’t detect in the hectic of every day life. 
We will find things we never set out to seek in the first place – let’s be more adventurous and patient to find them!

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Writing with many others over at Five Minute Friday today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Learn

A few weeks into my teacher training I heard it for the first time. “You’re such a nerd!”
It brought back memories for me. Memories of high school when I was called the same way, especially during exam seasons.
And surprisingly, it was never meant in the negative way.

I’m a nerd. I like to learn.
It’s fascinating to read about other cultures, other people’s views on things, delicious food recipes.
I like to take everything in and compare my own ideas with it.
I enjoy digging deeper into the bible, looking at historical backgrounds and its influences on the parables.
I sometimes look up greek words and their meanings which sometimes turn my whole understanding around.
I like sermons that don’t stay on the ‘feelings’ level.

But I guess I am also a ‘people nerd’.
More than I want facts and knowledge, I want relationship.
Connection.
I want to get to know someone on a deeper level.
I really struggle to walk away from a conversation with only knowledge or objective facts.
I want something personal because we have just made a connection.

This requires effort, the right questions and the courage to ask them.
It requires honesty and the bravery to give away something of yourself.
And it requires a lot (yes, a lot!) of time and investment.
But it’s worth it, trust me.
In the end, in times of need, knowledge can only get you so far – but friends will take the long walk with you.  

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Linking up with Five Minute Friday today. 

[Five Minute Friday] Here

One of the ‘perks’ of being a missionary kid is the travel during furlough.
Well, ‘perks’ in this case might be ironic because it’s not really fun, especially not as a kid.
You travel from church to youth group to ladies’ breakfast to small group meeting and talk about your work as a missionary in some remote place. And the kids are shown around like a trophy or support the ‘performance’ with a funny story.
Tons of people look at you and talk to you as if they were your best friends. They know so much about you, you don’t even remember their names.

And all of them are very, very excited about what God is doing in Africa.
Because that’s what missions is all about, right? 
Going to a foreign country to share the gospel.

I think this is the first things that comes to a lot of people’s minds when they hear missions.
It’s not here, it’s somewhere out there.
It’s with people of a different country, language, faith.
So you either have to pack your bags and go, or you make sure you support a few missionaries while you earn your money at home.

It has been six years since I came home from South Africa.
Six years without being a missionary kid or missionary myself.
But does that mean I have not done missions?

We’re not all called to go to different countries, but we are all called to be witnesses. 
To share the gospel with our lives.
With our weaknesses and failures.
With our successes and joys.
We are called to stand beside those who are alone.
Walk with those who struggle along the way.
Listen to those who have no one to talk to.
Bless someone in small ways.

We can all do missions right here and right now. 
Why? 
Because it is not our job to save the world. 
We are called to see.
See what the Lord is already doing and join him in His mission.
Then missionary stories and excitement will no longer just be other people’s stories, they will be our lives.

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Linking up with Five Minute Friday today. Congrats to Kate Motaung for one year of hosting!