#write31days – Page 7

[#write31days] Day 2 Family

Welcome to Day 2 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
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It’s also Friday today, so I am linking up with my friends at Five Minute Friday.

When I hear family I used to think of the four other people who know me best.
Memories of my childhood coming to life before my inner eye.
Long debates and arguments. Of closing my door and hoping they would start fighting soon. Feelings of loneliness and despair.

Happy memories. Having breakfast together on a Saturday morning and talking until lunchtime.
Sitting crammed into one hotel room in the middle of nowhere in South Africa eating toast and peanut butter. We are exhausted from the long drive, but yet we break into a laugh because the whole thing is just too hilarious.
Lying on the floor holding my aching tummy. My sister next to me, in the same condition. My brother next to us, telling us more and more jokes in funny accents which makes us laugh even harder.

These people are my family. It was us five against the world.

A few months ago, this image has changed.

Friends of mine had a baby. They had been through a few rough patches before and seeing this baby for the first time was a miracle.
A few weeks later there was a card in my mailbox, asking “Will you be his Godmother?”
I was incredibly happy but also very much surprised.
Why did you pick me? Isn’t that normally something that family does?
The answer came back loud and clear.
“You are family, didn’t you know that?”

Well, now I do.
When I think of family now I see a much larger group of people.
Family is wherever people are willing to share their lives, with all its joys and messiness. Where we are allowed to just be and don’t have to clean up.
Where we are allowed to ask questions and don’t always have to answer, a place where we can think out loud.

Dealing with family and friends is often hard and sometimes we need to set boundaries. This is what the series is all about.
But before we dig deeper, take a moment and think about your family.
Who are the people God has placed around you? Your brothers and sisters, your friends? Where is the place that allows you to be yourself? Before you start complaining, be grateful for them.

[#write31days] Day 1 Welcome to My Life

Welcome to Day 1 of #write31days!
For more information check out the series’ page.
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A day sometime in August 2013.
My alarm clock rings at 6.30 am. Before I get out of bed my mind is wide awake, making mental notes of everything I have to do today.
I make myself a cup of coffee and by 7am I am at my desk, ready to work. The early morning hours are the only time of day I am somewhat productive. I finish writing a paper for my professor, then move on to my daily reading chores for my master’s thesis. The amount of notes grows and grows and in the back of mind I worry a bit how I will ever fit all of this in comprehensive sentences.
By 10 am I take a breakfast break and rub my wrists which slowly start to itch. This pain has become my companion in the last few busy months. Your state board exams with a double degree sure don’t come easy.

The afternoon is reserved for responding to emails. Despite my full university schedule I joined a team to organize a Europe-wide youth congress over New Year’s. This meant about 50 emails to respond to per day. Most of them with good questions or encouragements. Some of them with complaints and impossible requests.
My hands are in pain by now, my back begs me to stop, but I keep going.

Concentration is harder to maintain now, so I keep getting distracted by social media. As I scroll down the page I see pictures of the perfect wedding, the perfect first baby, the perfect date, the perfect vacation in paradise.
I sigh. What am I doing here? Sitting and working, while others are living their lives.

The phone rings. A guy from church asks if I could lead worship in church on Sunday. I say yes because there’s no one else who could do it.

I get back to my emails. I am responsible for a TCK camp in October and haven’t prepared anything yet. Another busy weekend, but spending time with TCKs is like being with family, so I agreed to do it.

A friend texts me and asks if I want to meet up tonight, but I say no. I am just too busy. As much as I miss the company of people in the midst of busyness, I am way too exhausted to even see someone else.

Around 8 pm I start packing because I’ll visit my family tomorrow. Haven’t seen them in a while, so it’s time. There seems to be trouble at home, and I should come to ‘fix it.’

I check my phone, but there are no new messages or emails. A day without human interaction. My depressed self thinks, “No one really cares.” My angry self thinks, “Why doesn’t anyone respond when I need them the most?” My sad self leaves disappointed.

At 10 pm I start cooking and have dinner while watching an episode of some show I don’t even remember the name of. My wrists are covered in ice packs, the only way to deal with the pain.

All I want is to sleep and get ready to do it all over again tomorrow.

How does a ‘normal’ day in your life look like? How much do you do for others? What do you for yourself and for pleasure?

[Disclaimer: Some of the following might sound a bit exaggerated. But all of this is true. Even though not of all this took place on one single day, it serves as an example of what a life without boundaries might look like.]

31 Days of Setting Healthy Boundaries

Welcome to #write31days 2015!

Every year in October writers all across the globe gather to write. You pick a topic and write about it every day.
It is a challenge, yes. But it’s also an immense blessing. It’s like a bootcamp for your writing, your words become sharper, more precise, more powerful.
Writing a post a day gives you the opportunity to really dig into a topic, explore different features, and ask some of the hard questions.

My topic this year is “Setting Healthy Boundaries.”

I guess we all know what it means to just get caught up in life. We feel like on a rollercoaster, going up and down without a possibility to escape. We work, we do household chores. We engage in relationships. We give and we take. And sometimes we feel like we’re all burned out. Like we’ve got nothing left to give.
In the midst of this craziness Jesus says:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 (ESV)

This is some hard truth! Life often doesn’t seem to be abundant – it feels more like existing. Dragging yourself along, from one day to the next, from one vacation to the next. It’s functioning, but it’s not the abundance Jesus has promised us.
How do we find more abundance in our lives?
How can we set boundaries to protect our souls from drying up and to preserve the good that’s already there?

The last two years have been my personal struggle with boundaries. As I transitioned (and still do) out of college and into working life, as I mature into adulthood, as I learn more and more on my faith journey, I have to discover who I am. And more importantly, who I am not. I have to develop the courage to say NO to the wrong things in order to find the freedom to say YES to the right things.

Setting boundaries is not just a topic for people in leadership or a certain age group. It’s a habit we all need to establish and practice. The more we do that, the more we’ll experience life – real, abundant life – coming back to us.
So I invite you to come along for this journey. Let’s learn what boundaries are and why it is so important to set them. Let’s let go of some lies we believe about setting boundaries and take first steps towards more abundance in our lives.
The easiest way to tag along is by subscribing and you’ll get every new post straight to your inbox!

I am no professional psychologist and will mostly share from my own experiences and reading. This series should not just be about me talking, so I encourage you to get involved by asking questions, commenting, or sharing your own stories!

Some resources that might help you along the journey:
Food for your soul:
Cloud&Townsend. Boundaries.
Buchanan. The Rest of God.
Shelley Miller. Sabbath Society.

Food for your body:
Sorted Food. Delicious recipes with a side of videos and British humor!
OneIngredientChef. Vegetarian and vegan food you can’t resist to cook yourself!

That time I participated in a blogging challenge…

If you’re used to getting a daily email from me last month you might have realized that it was a bit quiet around here for a week. I needed a break after blogging every day in October.
At first I didn’t even want to participate in this #write31days challenge. I had experienced how friends had struggled last year, how it had ‘ruined’ their passion for writing, how time consuming it was. I was in the middle of my state board exams (meaning: studying every day for the most important exam in your career) and October was just a busy month with birthdays, weddings, travels…no way I would have time for elaborate blogging.
But when Kate Motaung put out her prompt words for “31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes” I couldn’t resist. These words just started speaking to my TCK heart and stories, thoughts, ideas came to my mind. And so they ended up in this space.

It’s been an experience, and I thought I would share a few of the lessons I’ve learned from it. I’ll also share some of the blogs I’ve discovered during this challenge, which might be a good read for you, too!

No matter how busy you are, you need a creative outlet!
After a long day with my books and notes it was a really good distraction to put some thoughts on paper. Completely different topics and writing style. Some days were hard and I needed to challenge myself to put thoughts into words, other days were fun and my hands seemed to be dancing on the keyboard. Writing needs time and practice, and these 31 days definitely helped me to get some more flow in my writing.

Blogging is a lot of work.
Luckily I had about two weeks before the challenge started so I pre-wrote some posts already. Coming up with a topic and complete post everyday that fits into an overall series can be really hard sometimes. The challenge offered me a bit of a ‘behind-the-scenes’ view of the blogging world. What does it mean to have a monthly outline for your topic? Who do I link up with? What about graphics, pictures, layout? Suddenly a few written lines of a post turn into a piece of work before you hit ‘publish’. A published post is only the beginning, afterwards there are comments and questions and answers. And then obviously there are thousands of blogs out there you could read. Which ones do you pick? Some of the work I enjoyed, some made me question the concepts behind it.

How much work does it really take?
In the last few years the blogosphere seems to have exploded; everyone can write about almost everything in any space of the internet. I really enjoyed reading a lot of great posts this month, hosted in beautifully created spaces of the web, crafted with powerful words and images. But what does it take to have a blog with good traffic and readers? Simply a good layout? Relevant topics? Pinnable images and tweetable quotes?
I was a bit overwhelmed at all the “advice” other bloggers gave to increase the numbers of readers, turn your blog into a business or book and many other topics. Is it really all about self-advertisement? Do I want to sell myself in this little space I call mine?
These questions lead me back to my motivation for doing all this. Why do I write in the first place and who do I write for?
I don’t want to write for statistics, likes, or tweets. This is not a business with a product called ME. What I want to take away from this challenge is my hope to stay true to myself.
Not losing my voice in numbers of visitors, positive or negative comments, facebook pages, tweets and likes. Instead, what I want to put on paper are my passions, things I struggle with, wonder about. Unfinished thoughts, open questions, lessons learned. They might speak to you in the situation you’re in at the moment. They might say nothing at all to you right now. That’s okay. I am absolutely grateful for everyone who’s been reading along – thank you for all your comments, input, and encouragement! I hope you’ll continue this journey with me, as shaky as it might be…

There’s a blogger community out there!
I’ve linked up with other bloggers before, but this challenge really made me aware of so many amazing writers out there! I had the privilege to have some friends and fellow bloggers join me on my own blog, and I was so blessed by their words, experiences, and wisdom. In case you missed them, please go back and read their work!
Johann shared a poem he wrote on the TCK identity question, Daniel wrote about fears, Katrin contributed a poem about God in the midst of TCK life, Wera did a series on TCKs and restlessness, Rachel told us about her struggles with joining in, and Marilyn gave us an insight on returning to your host country. All of them have fantastic voices and I hope you enjoy their writings!
In the middle of studying and blogging I didn’t have much time to read many of the other bloggers’ works that participated in the challenge, too. Nearly 1600 people joined and wrote about all kinds of topics, ranging from devotions to travel secrets to pumpkin recipes. We all connected on Facebook, and it was good to receive encouragement when things got tough. Plus, I got to discover some amazing writers I wouldn’t have found otherwise! I tried to read a variety of things, but it wasn’t easy to keep up with everything and there are still about a hundred posts in my reader waiting for me. I did however choose to read a few series every day, and I am glad I did!

Here are a few of my picks…

…Kate Motaung: the host of Five Minute Friday wrote on her life in South Africa, which was like homecoming for me. So many stories to relate to and so much to laugh about!

…Liz von Ehrenkrook: We had briefly connected before, but her series really challenged me! She wrote on 31 Days of Breaking Religion, questioning why we believe what we believe and what faith is all about. We had some great discussions and I am so glad we “met”!

…Shelly Miller: Shelly shares the story of her family moving to London, including all the delays, open questions and life’s beauty in between. She has a talent of putting things into beautiful words which often spoke to me. Shelly also hosts “The Sabbath Society” and her emails on Fridays are perfect to start off Sabbath (whatever day you decide to take it).

…Christy Campbell: Christy is a traveler and her series was all about secrets to more adventures in life. Some really great advice in there and even better stories! I am also featured with a guest post.

…Renee Emerson: I am not even close to finishing this series, but the start was so good! Renee and Brian write about writing as an act of worship. Lots of good input and some great practical exercises. Definitely want to continue reading!

…Kristin@theincrediblek: Kristin had 31 days of encouragement on her blog, and even though I haven’t read all of them yet they are really good! Many stories and practical ideas to encourage other people and change your own life on the go.

I hope you have some time to check them out!
31 Days are over but blogging isn’t, and I will continue writing. Not every day, but whenever I feel I need processing…:) So stay tuned for more thoughts soon!

[Five Minute Friday] Leave

It’s the last Friday of October and as usual, I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a fantastic writer community. It’s also the last day of October, which means it’s Day 31 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! You made it to the end, yay! If you’re just starting now, you can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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We went to see the animals at Lake Victoria.

We went to sit at the beach.

We went for dinner at a nearby hotel.

It all seemed unreal. Our last day in Uganda.

And finally, finally we went to the airport.

I watched my parents check us in, drop off our luggage, say goodbye to friends and teammates. And then we walked down to the gates.

I felt like in a trance.

This was happening, but not to me.

We were just dropping someone off and tonight I would sleep in my bed in our house in beautiful Namutamba and everything would be alright.

It was already dark outside when we walked onto the airfield and towards the plane.

The tender summer breeze brought the smell from the Lake and you could see the lights glitter on the water’s surface.

We boarded the plane, had layovers in Nairobi and Amsterdam, and then we were home.

Really?

I didn’t realize what had happened to me until a week later.

I asked my mom when we’d be going back, but she said, “We’re not going back.

We will stay here now.”

That’s when it hit me.

I had really left.

And I hadn’t even said goodbye.

I am not a cryer normally. Which doesn’t mean I am not sad.

But now I cried.

For all the friends I hadn’t hugged one last time.

For my best friend who I had left the day before as if I didn’t know we wouldn’t meet again the next day.

For the village I had called my home.

For all the memories I had made there and would never be able to repeat.

For the piece of my heart I had left in the Pearl of Africa, Uganda.

I have had to leave quite a few other places since then.

My family, South Africa, my teenage years, the US, university.

Familiar faces, cozy houses, a certain lifestyle.

Dreams of how my life should look like, dear relationships, broken hopes.

I’m sure if you added your losses we’d get an entire novel together.

Make sure you say goodbye.

You never know if you’ll have the chance again.
Make sure you cry.

Crying is a way to cleanse the soul and I have come to appreciate my tears sometimes. After the tears have ceased, another feeling wells up inside of me: thankfulness.

My heart is overwhelmed with deep gratitude.

For the beautiful places I got to live in.

For the amazing people I had the privilege of meeting and who continue to be in my life. For the sweet memories I could make and can now hold on to.

For God, who continues to walk with me and already knows where I’m heading to next.

Well, and now I am leaving this series.

It’s been a great month and I’ll surely reflect a bit about it after I had a short blogging break. 🙂

THANK YOU for staying with me on this journey, for your comments and thoughts, all your encouragement!

I am leaving you with hopefully a lot of impressions, things to ponder, and the wish to embrace your TCK life a bit more…

What did you learn in the course of this series?

[31 Days] Day 30 Unite

It’s Day 30 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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A few weeks ago I was at a friend’s birthday party when it happened.

We were having a barbecue in the park and some friend had brought another friend.

We introduced ourselves and started talking.

We had just met and yet we felt like we had known each other for years.

And so we spent the evening talking about our lives, exchanging fun stories and challenges.

Because we knew the other would understand.

This immediate connection is something so special among TCKs.

It unites us no matter the countries we lived in, no matter the amount of time we spent abroad, no matter the place we’re in right now.

It fascinates me every time I meet a TCK.

May it be on a TCK camp where it takes one night of games and introductions to form intimate bonds with “strangers” that have become my second family over the years.

May it be in unexpected places, like birthday parties, train rides, university seminars.

In our globalized world there are more and more TCKs around us – missionary kids, diplomat kids, business kids, immigrant kids or people growing up around many cultures.

We are all united by this one bond: we’ve seen what’s out there.

It doesn’t have to be far, it just has to be outside our own little world and comfort zone. Once you’ve been out there, you feel a connection to others who have gone, too.

Whenever I meet a TCK my heart rejoices (and sometimes I also break into a smile, hehe). Here is this one person who gets me, who can laugh at the fun stories and won’t look away at the hard ones.

Here is this one person who can relate my stories to their own and it helps, encourages, maybe even comforts.

Meeting a fellow TCK is sometimes like meeting a friend for the first time and the sudden depth doesn’t feel awkward at all.

I hope for every TCK out there that you meet others with similar stories, that you find out about who you are and have others around you to connect to, to share with, to bond with.

A big shoutout to my TCK friends all around the globe – it is a blessing knowing you and walking a bit of life together!

Can you relate to this? It might also be true for other relationships when both aren’t TCKs. Any thoughts on this?

[31 Days] Day 29 Roots

It’s Day 29 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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Roots.
Short and weak at first, looking for some ground to be planted in, to be nurtured in.
Roots.
Growing strong and deep with time, digging themselves deep into the ground, spreading out, building a firm foundation underground for whatever is seen above the ground.

Roots being pulled and replanted into a different soil and the whole process begins anew. By the time these roots have found some ground and planted themselves again, they are uprooted again.

The image of roots and the feeling of rootedness is powerful in a TCK life.
It can be quite nice to have versatile roots – you don’t cling to unnecessary things or places, you can just move and experience new great things.

It can also be very hard, though.
Not having firm roots often makes me feel like having no foundation.
My roots have been planted in so many soils, but do they hold me?
Whenever I am re-planted people just see what’s above the ground. But they don’t see where I’m coming from, they don’t know my life stories, my childhood dreams, my roots. Do I belong even though I haven’t always been around?

We’ve talked quite a bit in this space about the feeling of restlessness and rootlessness so many TCKs experience. It’s not just a current research topic, it’s connected to so many personal stories of friends or my own.

As some of you may have heard, I graduated from university last week. What this was and is like I will be writing about after the end of this series. But now it’s time to enter the next phase of life, which is not as easy at it seems.

After years of moving around, never staying in a place for more than five years I find in myself a desire to stay.

To not pack my bags in a while but actually decorate my room.
To set my roots down and see what happens.
To invest in the people I am surrounded with and experience friendships that don’t depend on Skype and time zones.

I have talked to quite a few TCK friends lately and they said similar things.
And together we wondered about ourselves and this feeling.

Because we are not supposed to feel like it.

A certain restlessness seems to be engraved in our genes and we are driven to move on. So what is this sudden change of heart?
Are we just getting older?
Or are we simply discovering a deeper desire to belong inside of us?

We have to understand that our past doesn’t have to dictate our future.

Enjoying the present doesn’t mean we condemn the past.

So if we discover this longing inside of us, if we decide to take this bold step and put our roots down for a while – it doesn’t mean that we cut off the parts of the root that have been grown in other wonderful places.

These experiences shaped, strengthened and colored our roots – and it might be time to plant a bit of that in this one place for the moment.

If we allow our roots to settle down for a while we will experience a bit of that rest we’ve been longing for all along.

Firm roots will allow our flowers to bloom.

[31 Days] Day 28 Expect

It’s Day 28 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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I came home from a year in South Africa being in love with the country and its people. The goodbye was incredibly hard and the re-entry to Germany was, too.

I settled back into life, began university, started making new friends.

But this deep longing and feeling of homesickness were my constant companion.

A few months later I had my debrief with the mission agency and they told me that for various reasons I would have the chance to go back for a short time. What a game changer! The summer semester couldn’t go by faster as my eyes and heart were set on July 29th, departure for my second home South Africa.

A week before I left I had dinner with a few friends; we sat outside in the summer night and talked about my trip. And then one friend asked:

What do you expect of this trip?

This question stuck with me during my trip, which turned out to be different than I expected.

Did I go back to cure my homesickness?

Did I expect I would go back and everything would be alright again?

Did I expect time would have stopped and I could just continue where I had left things?

It was a bit of a homecoming.

Flying into Johannesburg and driving to the farm from the airport felt so familiar.

I recognized houses, towns, shops.

Seeing “my” town again made my heart leap.

And holding dear friends in my arms again felt a bit like healing.

So yes, a bit of my homesickness was stilled, at least for two months.

It was also a bit like a revelation.

A shattering of expectations.

The bubble of nostalgic idealization burst and I was left with reality.

Things had changed, people had left and the perfect community we had had a year before did no longer exist.

The people had made the experience so unique, and without them I couldn’t just simply replicate it.

Things that had bothered me in the first year were still there, and I wondered how I could’ve idealized them, too.

So no, my expectations were shattered. But in a positive way.

When I returned to Germany the second time I knew a little bit better how to handle my homesickness.

I still missed friends and certain things deeply, and they will always be close to my heart. However, I don’t give in to nostalgic longing for things anymore that are more of a burden than a blessing.

My expectations were refined.

For those of you who returned “home”, what were your expectations and experiences?

[31 Days] Day 27 Visit

It’s Day 27 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Today I am very honored to introduce my last guest blogger to you. We have never met in person, but I follow her blog which always encourages me. A TCK herself and mom to TCKs, Marilyn just has so much wisdom and expertise which she knows how to put into touching and powerful words. Marilyn writes at her own blog Communicating Across Boundaries, but I am incredibly blessed to have her over at my small place today. When I read her post for the first time it deeply resonated with me, and I hope you’ll enjoy it, too. Thank you so much, Marilyn, for your wisdom! Please read more about her at the

end of the post.

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“So – are you visiting?”

The question took me completely by surprise.
We had returned to Cairo for our first trip two years after leaving.
Cairo had been our home for seven years.

photo credit: Marilyn Gardner

It was in Cairo that we had watched three of our five children take their first steps.
It was in Cairo where our youngest two were born, three years apart.
It was our community in this city that had loved us and cared for us through pregnancies and sickness; through post-delivery chaos and family crises; and through packing up and leaving when the time came.
The apartment we lived in still had markings of our children’s measurements on the doorpost. We had seen these just a day before while with our friends.

Cairo had been home for a long time and it broke our hearts to leave.
We said goodbye to all those things we loved so deeply.
Rides in huge, wooden boats called feluccas on the Nile River; Egyptian lentils (Kosherie) with the spicy tomato sauce and crispy fried onions to top it off; friendships that had been forged through hours of talking and doing life together; a church that was one of a kind with people from all over the world.

So when the woman asked me the question I didn’t know what to say.
A lump came into my throat and I willed myself to hold back the tears.

“Yes. Yes – we are visiting.” Pause “We used to live here…..” my voice trailed off.

The words ‘Visit’ and ‘Live’ are worlds apart.
Visit means stranger, tourist, one who goes and stays in a place for a “short time.”
The dictionary definition is clear on this.
It goes on to add “for purposes of sociability, business, politeness, curiousity…”

By contrast, the word live means “to dwell, to stay as a permanent resident.”

It was like being slapped on the face by someone you trust.
We were no longer permanent residents in Cairo, Egypt.
Our visas, stamped into our blue passports, no longer gave us legal resident status. Instead, they gave us only temporary permission to be in the country.
We did not have permission to dwell, to live, to work.
We only had permission to stay for a short time – to ‘visit.’

The grief that washed over me was acute and I wanted to bury myself in it.
I wanted to be able to grieve with abandon, to cry the tears I had wanted to cry since leaving two years prior.
I wanted to cry tears that would water the dusty ground that surrounded me, ground that had not seen water for a long time.
But I couldn’t.
Because indulging in the grief at that moment would have taken me away from the place that I loved, the people that I loved.

When a third culture kid suddenly finds himself or herself a stranger, a visitor in a land they once claimed the grief is acute and necessary.
And there is no way around but through.
Trying to avoid the reality is not helpful.

But this I know: More difficult than a visit would have been no visit at all, far harder than facing my current reality would have been dreaming a dream in a country far removed and never getting to experience this beloved place again.
So I held in the grief until a better time, swallowed hard, and went on my way.

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Marilyn Gardner is an adult third culture kid who grew up in Pakistan and raised her own third culture kids in Cairo, Egypt before moving to the United States. She is author of the recently released book Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Powell Books.

[31 Days] Day 26 Read

It’s Day 26 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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We are almost at the end of the October series, I can’t believe how fast time flew by!

I am glad we got to share so many features of the TCK life, the blessings and the challenges. You might have read along as a TCK, an ATCK, a TCK parent or caregiver, or just someone who’s interested in this subject. And now your head is spinning with lots of new information and you want to know more on a specific subject or give help.

So I thought I would give you a list of resources that I have come to enjoy and use. Of course there is so much more out there and I would love to hear any additions you have!

Book: Third Culture Kids/Growing Up Among Worlds – Dave Pollock& Ruth van Reken

I had heard so much about this book, many people called it the TCK bible, so I didn’t want to read what everybody read. J It took me eight years after my return to Germany and going to South Africa until I picked up that book and was overwhelmed! It was like someone finally explained myself, I didn’t feel strange and alone anymore. Finally there was a explanation for everything. I have come to appreciate the book so much because it’s a good basis to start more detailed research, it also gives first ideas on how to help. Plus, Ruth is amazing! Met her at a conference last year and she was the sweetest person – so knowledgeable and wise, yet also really funny and with a big heart for people and some good jokes.

Book: Between World/Essays on Culture and Belonging – Marilyn Gardner

Marilyn is the author of the “Communicating Across Boundaries” blog and has a fantastic way to put feelings and concepts into words. You can read some of this on the blog tomorrow! She now has published a collection of her essays in a book; unfortunately, I was so buried in schoolwork that I didn’t have the time to read it yet. But I have only heard the best things about it! So if you’re looking for essays on different TCK issues you might be interested in this book.

Magazine: Among Worlds

This magazine normally features articles on all kinds of TCK issues, from education to family dynamics to furlough to re-entry. It’s a great way to hear different voices on issues and see what’s going on in the TCK world!

Blog: Communicating Across Boundaries

This blog, hosted by Marilyn Gardner, is a fantastic piece of the internet! There are posts on Mariyln’s own TCK journey, issues that TCKs might struggle with, as well as other topics on faith and culture. It is a great place to get in touch with other TCK writers or TCKs who share their experiences, almost every post entails a long discussion. J Come join us!

Blog: A Life Overseas

A collaborative blog with contributors from different countries and backgrounds. Not only for TCKs, but also families, mothers, singles…living abroad.

Website: Euro TCK

Euro TCK is the European umbrella for various TCK organizations in European countries. The website provides resources and general information. It also is the host for the Euro TCK conferences every three years. The next conference is planned for 2017! So if you’re an ATCK or a TCK caregiver wanting to learn more, come and join us!

Website: MK Planet

A website and forum to connect American TCKs. Many topics are US specific, but most of the information can be applied all around the world. I find it always very interesting to meet TCKs and researchers from other countries and see what they’re dealing with at the moment.

Germany Specific: CCK-Net

On our TCK re-entry camps we realized that help has to go so much further than a weekend twice a year. What about all those TCKs that feel they have settled in Germany (so don’t need the camps anymore), but still want to keep in touch with other TCKs?

This is why we founded CCK-Net. It is a database, which tries to connect TCKs all around Germany (some also in Austria and Switzerland). You can sign up for the database if you’re new in Germany (or move to another city) and want to meet other TCKs. You can also sign up if you need help with specific re-entry issues (like riding the train, understanding German youth culture…). We have all ages and want to provide a bit of community. Would love to see YOU there!

Germany Specific: MK-Care

MK-Care is the umbrella organization for different TCK ministries in Germany. They host the different camps for TCKs, such as re-entry, Kid’s Camp, or retreats for adults. It also provides TCK literature, or advice on education. MK-Care wants to help TCKs, parents, mission agencies, or churches.

What other resources do you want to add or recommend? Would love to hear from you!