Five Minute Friday

[Five Minute Friday] Turn

I love driving.
Cruising on African sand roads and navigating the potholes is one of the most exhilarating experiences in life.
Sometimes, though, driving can be nerve wrecking. Like driving through a city you’ve never been to. With a car full of people and everyone seems to have an opinion on “don’t drive too fast”, “I think we should stop here”, or “look out for the traffic lights”. And then of course, there’s the GPS which has a mind of its own.

Far too quickly I get lost, take the wrong turn and don’t know where I am anymore.
Generally, I have a very good sense of orientation and like to guide people.
Driving and navigating in busy traffic at the same time is really hard. So when I get stuck I need to park somewhere, shut off the engine, figure out where I am and start over.

Sometimes life is like driving.
Every new day is a trip into the unknown, we don’t know the “life city” with all its roads ahead of us. We might have a general road map, but this can change at any minute.
There will be construction sites – things we need to work on which slow us down.
There might be potholes – broken things in our life that get to us again and again.
Or traffic jams – voices all around us, telling us what to do and what not, trying to push us in a certain direction…
We try to get through, we try to navigate this madness called life, but very often we are confused.
We take the wrong turn. And we’re lost.

I have taken quite a few wrong turns in life.
And that’s okay. Life’s not meant to be one straight path.
There will be turns and curves, hills and speeding lanes.
When life gets too busy, when I am lost in traffic or have just taken a wrong turn I stop.
I remember what this “drive” is all about.
I turn towards the One with the master plan, who calms all the other voices and brings peace to my troubled soul.
No matter how many wrong turns I take, He takes them with me, and his grace will lead me home.

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It’s Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a great community of writers from all around the world. One prompt, five minutes of writing, no editing. Why don’t you join us?

[Five Minute Friday] Leave

It’s the last Friday of October and as usual, I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a fantastic writer community. It’s also the last day of October, which means it’s Day 31 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! You made it to the end, yay! If you’re just starting now, you can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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We went to see the animals at Lake Victoria.

We went to sit at the beach.

We went for dinner at a nearby hotel.

It all seemed unreal. Our last day in Uganda.

And finally, finally we went to the airport.

I watched my parents check us in, drop off our luggage, say goodbye to friends and teammates. And then we walked down to the gates.

I felt like in a trance.

This was happening, but not to me.

We were just dropping someone off and tonight I would sleep in my bed in our house in beautiful Namutamba and everything would be alright.

It was already dark outside when we walked onto the airfield and towards the plane.

The tender summer breeze brought the smell from the Lake and you could see the lights glitter on the water’s surface.

We boarded the plane, had layovers in Nairobi and Amsterdam, and then we were home.

Really?

I didn’t realize what had happened to me until a week later.

I asked my mom when we’d be going back, but she said, “We’re not going back.

We will stay here now.”

That’s when it hit me.

I had really left.

And I hadn’t even said goodbye.

I am not a cryer normally. Which doesn’t mean I am not sad.

But now I cried.

For all the friends I hadn’t hugged one last time.

For my best friend who I had left the day before as if I didn’t know we wouldn’t meet again the next day.

For the village I had called my home.

For all the memories I had made there and would never be able to repeat.

For the piece of my heart I had left in the Pearl of Africa, Uganda.

I have had to leave quite a few other places since then.

My family, South Africa, my teenage years, the US, university.

Familiar faces, cozy houses, a certain lifestyle.

Dreams of how my life should look like, dear relationships, broken hopes.

I’m sure if you added your losses we’d get an entire novel together.

Make sure you say goodbye.

You never know if you’ll have the chance again.
Make sure you cry.

Crying is a way to cleanse the soul and I have come to appreciate my tears sometimes. After the tears have ceased, another feeling wells up inside of me: thankfulness.

My heart is overwhelmed with deep gratitude.

For the beautiful places I got to live in.

For the amazing people I had the privilege of meeting and who continue to be in my life. For the sweet memories I could make and can now hold on to.

For God, who continues to walk with me and already knows where I’m heading to next.

Well, and now I am leaving this series.

It’s been a great month and I’ll surely reflect a bit about it after I had a short blogging break. 🙂

THANK YOU for staying with me on this journey, for your comments and thoughts, all your encouragement!

I am leaving you with hopefully a lot of impressions, things to ponder, and the wish to embrace your TCK life a bit more…

What did you learn in the course of this series?

[Five Minute Friday] Dare

It’s Friday and I am linking up with Kate Motaung and a great writer’s community.

It’s Day 24 of the 31 Days in the Life of a TCK series! Welcome! You can find more info on the series here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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TCKs are some of the most adventurous people I know.
Many of who I met many years ago trying to fit in to Germany again are now back out there.
Traveling the world, serving God in the hard places.
Almost every day I get emails from younger TCKs I mentored on our TCK camps and who now go abroad again, following the travel bug.
TCKs push themselves to new levels, countries, situations and from the outside I can often just smile and see them prosper.

At our camps we dare them to do quite a lot and it is amazing to see what they make of it.
The last night is always the best.
Some sort of loose program, full with what the TCKs have to offer.
I can only smile at the outbursts of creativity, musical skills, comedic talents.
A formerly shy girl brings the whole house down with her jokes, and some guys don’t have a problem dancing in front of people they just met.

But it’s not always like this.
Many TCKs come to our camps with parts of their adventure spirit missing.
Buried in fear of what awaits them in Germany.
We want to help them come alive again.
Challenge them to try new things.
They start daring to hope again that things will work out in their passport country.
They dare to trust again.
Trust that they’ll find new friends at a new place.
Trust that God is the same, no matter how much they change.

When did you have to dare yourself to step out?

[Five Minute Friday] Long

It’s another Friday, so I am linking up with the writer community at Kate Motaung‘s place.

This post is part 17 of the series “31 Days in the Life of a TCK”.

Come join the whole conversation here. Don’t forget to subscribe!

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“Africa? You’re going to Africa? This is so far away! It’s desert there, lots of dangerous animals, and only poor people!”

I remember my grandma saying things like that when we first told her we would be moving South. She came from a little village and hadn’t gone further than the European boarders, so she was terrified. Terrified to lose her children and grandchildren to heat, sickness, or lions.

She was terrified because she didn’t know. Africa was a long way for her.

But we went. All the long 8000 km to beautiful Uganda.

In these two years we had maybe 3 phone conversations (it was before the highspeed internet and smartphone age) with us walking around in the garden to get reception and screaming: “You there? Can you hear me? Merry Christmas, Grandma!” and the signal broke off.

Uganda is a long way.

Fortunately, we had a visitor one day who brought a video camera, so we shot a film for grandma, showing her everything in this new home of ours. The way we lived, the GREEN grass (Uganda is close to the equator and pretty green in rain season), the people we had come to love.

The next letter we got from her was very different. “Now I know where you are. Now I can be at peace. Africa is not as different as I thought.”

Suddenly, Uganda isn’t such a long way after all.

Long distances can become very small if we know how to bridge them well.

I am not saying the kilometers magically disappear.

And trust me, as soon as I hang up on a skype conversation I feel the distance more than ever before.

But thank God for so many ways to make the long distances come closer to us.

To allow the world to reach us where we are.

Having the world close to us can have its challenges as well – stay tuned for this part tomorrow!

How did/do you experience distances in your life? Any funny stories to tell?

[Five Minute Friday] Care

It’s another Friday, so I am linking up with the writer community at Kate Motaung‘s place.
This post is part 10 of the series “31 Days in the Life of a TCK”.
Come join the whole conversation here. Don’t forget to subscribe!
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When we arrived in Uganda we were the only white family in the village.
But this did not matter because we quickly grew into a new unique family with the people around us.

There were many neighbors around who came by to check out the Mzungus or to play ball.
We always had tea and cake ready cause no day went by without spontaneous visitors.
The village became a caring community.

But also the people on the same compound were our family.
One lady taught me how to play guitar since the only key instrument in the entire village was a very out of tune church organ.
Another lady explained Latin syntax to me since I had been convinced that I had to learn Latin in homeschool. Yes, it was a pain but I have a – let’s say unique – relationship to this subject.
These people, no matter the skin color, were our family.
They took on roles of far away relatives and told us bedtime stories, they challenged us, they sometimes annoyed us.
But they took care of us and made us a home away from home.

Whenever I moved I found this to be true.
As soon as you step outside your comfort zone you’re out there.
Away from home. And it is hard.
But if you keep your eyes open you’ll find a new home.
A community of fellow adventurers in South Africa.
A group of students in Germany.
A bunch of internationals living the American Dream.
You will find people who care for you if you allow yourself to open up and let them care for you. Away from comfort and familiarity you will find a surprising comfort in people you never suspected.

Do you have people who take care of you where you are at the moment?
And where can you be a person taking care of someone else?

[Five Minute Friday] New

It’s Friday, so this means there will be a “normal” Five Minute Friday post here today. Join fellow writers over at Kate‘s!
But it’s also Day 3 of the 31 Days series in the Life of a TCK, so obviously it will all go under this theme. Never heard of the series? No problem, you’re welcome to join in! Find more infos here, then subscribe to get all the posts in your inbox!
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Six years after I had left Uganda I once again stepped onto African ground.
Somehow my heart had drawn me to South Africa, so I would spend a year there doing voluntary work in a township near Pretoria.
While packing, while saying goodbye, while anticipating the adventure – my heart sang: Africa, I am coming back.

I thought I knew Africa.
I thought I knew how things would be, what clothes to wear, what life to live, what people to meet.
Well, in some respect yes.
From the moment my team leader picked me up from the airport and we drove through the countryside I felt at home. Driving on the left side just seemed so much more natural to me than the right (and I still prefer it until today).

But in so many respects no.
Houses looked different, the roads had less potholes and more asphalt, and the people were different.
There were white people who called themselves African, a concept that did not fit in my picture of black-African; white- foreigner.
It took me a while to get used to the mambo jambo of the Rainbow Nation South Africa.

This would not just be another year in Africa. This was something new.
I was no longer the missionary kid tagged along by the parents and seeing what they did.
This was me being the missionary and doing the work, including all the joys and hardships.

Different good or different bad? Definitely good. But so new and challenging.

This experience is true for many TCKs who move between cultures and lived in even more countries than me.
You cannot compare one or the other.
Every bit of their lives is different and new.
And that’s okay, it keeps you fresh and challenges a different bit inside of you.

This experience is also true for just life with all its different transitions and life phases.
New job, graduating from college, getting married, having a child, retiring.
We think we know life and yet we always have to discover that there are new facets to it every day.
Different good or different bad?
Hopefully good.
And new and exciting.

[Five Minute Friday] Because

I remember certain conversations (or rather arguments?) with my sister or my mother when I was younger.
Normally we would fight about who would play who when we played “House”, who was supposed to clean the stairs, who would have to watch our little brother…

In the German language there’s this wonderful word that can solve every argument. DOCH (as English speakers, try to pronounce it, it will sound like a machine gun).
To any why question or why not not question, or even to a “you will threat” you can simply say Doch. It stands for everything you might be for or against. And for a child’s strongest will.

In English I sometimes miss this word, but BECAUSE is a pretty good contestant.
And interestingly, I still find myself in arguments (or was it rather conversations?).
This time, however, I am at the other end, and my partner is the Lord.
We talk about life, why things are hard sometimes.
Why I can’t be somewhere else now.
Why he still hasn’t done this and that.
Why I haven’t grown in such and such way.

And his answer often includes BECAUSE.

Luckily, he gives more than just this word.
Whenever the Israelites argued with the Lord, he sure gave them a whole list on why’s.
The Bible is full of BECAUSE.

Don’t hate yourself BECAUSE I love you.
Don’t give up BECAUSE I am with you.
Don’t be afraid BECAUSE I will carry you through the fire.
Give freely to others BECAUSE I have given everything for you.
You’re not worthless BECAUSE I have redeemed you.

His BECAUSE silences any kind of why or what we could ever come up with.
I am glad that the Lord and I can talk, yes even argue at times. But I am even more grateful that he wins every time.

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Linking up with Kate Motaung for five minutes of writing, no editing, and sharing with a wonderful community!

[Five Minute Friday] Ready

There I was, at the airport, about to take the biggest step of my life.
I would get on that plane to Johannesburg, South Africa, to spend the best year of my life.
Finding God, finding people, finding myself.
But was I ready for that? After months of planning and paperwork it all still seemed unreal. Maybe even frightening. What was I thinking?

I guess we all know these moments.
The first steps into the adult world after school.
One last major exam that makes up our university degree.
The walk down the aisle into married life alongside a person you’re still in the process of getting to know.
The first day on the first job.
The first child.
The sudden diagnosis that turns your life around.
The realization that life on this earth has an expiration date.
Are we ready for all that? Will we ever be?

It doesn’t take much to make our lives spin. Often it’s the little things that push us off the cliff and make us lose ourselves.
It reminds me of little birds that are pushed out of the nest at some point.
Sounds cruel, but it forces them to spread their wings and actually fly.
Taking the plunge makes them realize that the air carries them and there’s a whole new world out there to be discovered.

Life and its changes is like that bird mother pushing us out of the nest.
Again and again, with big and small things.
Shaking up our comfortable nests. Making us take the plunge.
But only then can we realize that there’s something there.
When we spread our wings we realize there’s something underneath carrying us.
The One who was always there and always will be.
His comfort enables us to spread our wings and fly.
Into the next step of life, into a world out there to be discovered and conquered.

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After a short break I am back to the Five Minute Friday community with Kate Motaung! One word. Five Minutes of Writing. No editing. Linking up with fellow writers. Come and join us!

[Five Minute Friday] Reach

For Your steadfast love is great above the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
(Psalm 108:4)

In my walk with Christ –called life– there are times when I find it quite hard to believe.
To take his words for truth, to let them come alive in me because life around me just speaks something completely different.
His words don’t reach me because I don’t take them in.
I don’t allow them to penetrate the very core of my soul, the point where I need his words the most.

Yet, here they are.
His words of truth.
His love is great and his faithfulness is not limited in its reach.
Familiar words, yet full of power everytime you meditate on them.
He reaches out to his, the heavens and the earth are a testimony for that.
And there’s no place I could go, no mess I could get myself in where his love and faithfulness don’t reach. I am covered in it, whether I know/want it or not.

I guess I need this reminder today. I need it often.
When I reach out to him, he’s always ready to welcome me with open arms.
When I reach out to him, I allow him to reach me.
To let his words go deep until they’re engraved on my heart.
When I reach out to him, I am overwhelmed by his love and faithfulness, taking it all in, learning a bit more about him.
And hopefully, his reach reminds me to reach out to others as well today who need to know they’ve already been reached for.
Will I reach out today? Will I allow myself to be reached today?

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Five Minute Friday with Kate Motaung. One word. Write for five minutes flat. No editing. Link up with a great community of writers!

[Five Minute Friday] Change

We can try as hard as we want – we can’t stop it. Change.
No matter how many plastic surgeries you’ll have, your body will eventually bear the features of age.
No matter how much money you spend on a house, you’ll die in it one day.
No matter how much you care for your children, they will leave home one day.
No matter how many friends you have or how often you meet for coffee, they will move away one day or you might move on.

Change is everywhere. Some of it we can delay, most of it is out of our control.

As a TCK change almost seems to be part of your genes.
There’s a voice inside of you saying, “you cannot go a year without change. Two years in one place is already too long. Just wait for it, your friends will move anyway. You can’t stay here.”

As I move into this new phase of my life , I find a certain reluctance to change inside of me.
I don’t want to change anymore.
The thing I loved about being a TCK – the moving – feels strange and exhausting to me out of a sudden. At least for the moment.
There is this yearning inside of me to just be.
To just stay where I am.
At least for now.

I guess we need both.
We need to change, it will happen if we want it or not.
To change is to live.
So rather embrace it than just be shaped by it.
Appreciate the way things we get to experience now.

In all of this we need a firm place to root ourselves.
A place that doesn’t change.
A person we can go back to when change breaks us apart.
The One who says about himself “I am the same – yesterday, today, and forever.”

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Linking up with Kate Motaung today over at Five Minute Friday!